Neir
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Status Replies posted by Neir
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How do you even respond when an allo bff talks about how their death would have "little impact" on you when you clearly know it wouldn't and that they are just wenting about wanting a partner but like... that shit hurts to hear, like thanks for telling me my love for you always will be second best and that at most I will have is a second rate love from others when I've been trying to unlearn amatonormativity for years to not feel alone
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(Not sure if this was a rhetorical question so forgive me if you're not looking for an answer and are just venting!)
This is something that's happened to me quite a bit as well and it's always so hurtful. Often times, especially for people with low self-esteem, people have the assumption in their heads that friends aren't allowed to be close or have strong love for one another. 1000% amatonormativity, as you've said, and it's taken me a while to articulate this to my friends (especially because I haven't used "amatonormativity"). However, after enough persistence, I've had friends really realize and understand that they mean a lot to me. It has often not been about friends not believing in my love, but rather about their own self-esteem and being convinced others don't really love them because they are unworthy of it. My heart goes out to you and I really hope this person didn't really mean that your love is second-rate but rather has their own issues that caused things to come out that way.
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Linux is being a pain in the ass. Woo.
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I finally came out as aro! It took me a while but I'm finally comfortable in my identity. I'm single, I'm happy, and I'm excited to be the new me. I'll probably take down my account in a couple days so everyone thank you so much for your help, I love and appreciate this place so much an y'all are valid and amazing. Never forget that
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today's mood: tired web developer, in need of assistance or coffee.
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Hello I just wanted to say that I’m just an aro-spec ally wanting to learn more about the community
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Feeling simultaneously very loved by the aro community and very socially isolated by my IRL friends. I hope everyone here is doing all right, and if anyone else is feeling lonely, I invite you to my virtual corner!
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I’m gonna yeet out of this forum since I’m not really in the aro spectrum anymore. Thanks for the support while I was here!
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Hello!!!! Just joined this site!!!!
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what's up lads it looks like i have uuuuuh None (none) proper irl friends left so I;m back here asking for an F
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There’s a person I wanna be friends with but idk how to do that
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(is this too long for a status update? I don't know where else to put my rant) Reallllly annoyed today because in one of my classes, we were told to do a project about a specific date related to social justice issues (it is a social justice class, after all) and so I was saying how I was thinking about doing either Asexuality Awareness Week or Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (major step out of my comfort zone, literally the first time in my life I ever said the words "asexual" and "aromantic" out loud, very proud of myself). So the teacher listens in to my conversation, obviously means well, but then starts talking about asexuality as a mental illness (and aromanticism, too, I guess, but she obviously doesn't know much). And then some other dude in the class agreed (though I'm not convinced he heard right), and then my sort-of friend, (who is openly gay) says it's a mental illness too, and I was very upset. And then I mentioned that it's not considered a mental illness, I forget how they reacted to that, but it wasn't enough of a response that I was placated. Later I mentioned aromanticism to my sort-of friend, who was like, "Don't worry, you'll find someone," (seriously, dude, do you not understand what I'm saying?) to which I of course replied, "Screw you" (though in a sort of joking voice because I do that automatically so as to not horribly offend people; I honestly wish I had said that more offendedly so he would get the point). But I'm still annoyed, because everyone was 20 miles deep into misconceptions and misunderstandings, and it upsets me so much that people know so little.
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Being pathologized is something I have dealt with too and I really strongly identify with your feelings here! (As well as your Screw You attitude!) I remember finding scientific studies online that debunked the whole ace/aro=mentally ill thing and that helped me feel better, so know that science is on your side. You're right to be mad about your teacher's and peers' reactions though; I'm so annoyed on your behalf. Sending good vibes your way. You're in the right.
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i hope being sick is a good enough excuse not to study because otherwise i'm going to drown in guilt and anxiety.
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That feeling when all your good friends begin to ignore you, and all of your attempts to make new friends are blocked by people having romantic partners or an already-established group of close friends...
Heartbreaking. And boring. /Rant over
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Thank you for coming to sit with me in this little pit of despair! (There's always room here...) Funny enough, it actually helps to know I'm not just overbearing; the few people I have that do not ignore me are the keepers. It's frustrating but a part of life I will have to deal with more and more as I grow older. Wish it weren't that way
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Not sure there are other karateka here, but I'm just really uncontainably excited that the kata (a series of moves kind of like a dance but with punching) I am slated to learn soon is the one Rika Usami performed when she won world championships - Chatanyara Kushanku. I have a soft spot in my heart for that kata because I've seen the recording so so many times to cheer myself up.
Edit: Here is the recording: https://youtu.be/iiiznDpoapQ
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@NullVector I love the comparison to the crane! As for power generation, I know that in my own style we rely a lot on hip rotation so it looks like she is doing something similar.
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Not sure there are other karateka here, but I'm just really uncontainably excited that the kata (a series of moves kind of like a dance but with punching) I am slated to learn soon is the one Rika Usami performed when she won world championships - Chatanyara Kushanku. I have a soft spot in my heart for that kata because I've seen the recording so so many times to cheer myself up.
Edit: Here is the recording: https://youtu.be/iiiznDpoapQ
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Still awesome to see martial artists!
The kata is indeed super long... but it is thankfully somewhat repetitive. What's done on one side is done on the other, so that makes learning way easier. Rika also performs it with such confidence and her footwork is damn near perfect. Her control shows her athleticism, for sure
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Not a great day at all today...
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Hey everyone.
School is almost over where I live, and that means vacation for me. The bad thing is that I have to spend a whole week with my little sister, who is super sassy and rude. I have to share a room with her and spend every day with her because there is no alone time on family vacations. What should I do? Ignoring her hasn't worked for a long time.
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One thing I find very helpful in these situations is to pick a distraction technique. For example, when my sister and I were on vacation and at each other's heads or feeling uncomfortable, I would pull out the photos I took that day and share them with her. Then she'd do the same and we'd have a little space to admire the photos instead of sitting around awkwardly. We could also do this every day with new photos so it was a consistent distraction technique. Doing something like that might help, or if your sister brings other devices with her you could send her a bunch of videos or links she might like or find interesting (like a "look at this!" share) so she spends time paying attention to those. Occasionally when my family stayed at lodges that had TV, letting my sister pick what to watch also made everything run smoother. Idk if that'll help, but it's something! Especially if ignoring isn't working, which is my usual go-to.
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I'm happy and excited for you to tackle this awesome new aro life.
