Newcomer here, recently just realized that I probably had only use romance/pining/crushing as a way to gain happy chemicals to cope with my mental issues and not actually liking the person I though I like? After that revelation (?), the next thing I knew is I cannot stand anything that involves romance anymore despite being a hopeless romance just a few weeks before. It's been months and the feeling of revulsion did not go away, it has gone to the point that I had to ghost my friend of 3 year just because she put too many romantic scenes in her writings. I cannot consume any media that have lovey dovey couples in it anymore, which is like- 90% of the shows nowadays, and already dropped one of my favorite show thanks to this newfound phobia. It doesn't matter if the relationship was straight or gay, they all give me the heebies jeebies anyway. What was your "finding out" experience like? Is this signs that I'm actually aromantic or should I just stop and get some help?
More context: Never been in a relationship, only crushing and suck it in until I'm tired of it. Then I usually find a new person who's decent enough and consciously telling myself to "fall in love" with them. It usually get toxic.
