Naegleria fowleri

I just started university this year, so there hasn't been much time for me to "change over time". Unless you count that kid crush I had in elementary school, which I have no recollection of but somehow there is photographic evidence of it. But no, I just kind of came to the term aromantic as the inevitable conclusion of years of denial. That's the short version. Here's the long version: In twelfth grade I met this boy at my staff Christmas party, and he liked me. He was mature, smart, funny, and sweet to me, and not bad looking. I got excited, and I thought, this must be the fabled crush everyone talks about. I went to bed that night smiling. The next day, the feeling had mellowed out. I had met someone new who was cool, that's all. We went to Dairy Queen on a friends date. He paid, we hugged goodbye. We decided to keep things open, because I essentially told him I wasn't feeling "it" but I might at some point. A few months of this, and then I invite him to prom. That poor boy. All the mixed messages. I asked him to slow dance, and I regretted it pretty quick. I regretted it before he leaned in towards me, read my body language, and aborted mission. I told him I just wanted to be friends. That I didn't think I wanted a boyfriend. I couldn't articulate myself at this point, but the words in my head were along the lines of, "I want to want a relationship, but I just can't get there," or "It feels like the part of me that's responsible for all of that stuff is missing." You'd think I would have gotten it by that point, but no. I thought, well maybe I'm demi, and just haven't met the one. Maybe there's no one of my type at my school (and if you could see my yearbook, you would know that was entirely possible). It wasn't until I was in university, and dared myself to actually look at the people around me (I'm in my own head a lot) for two weeks and see if I felt something. It was rare for me to like someone's physical appearance, and when I did I felt no inclination to pursue anything. I told myself, check out the girls. Maybe you're gay. I wasn't. And so, I stumbled upon Arocalypse, specifically the "You Might Be Aro If" segment, and I almost got teary eyed. People understand! I'm not the only one! Because I had heard the definitions of aromantic and asexual so many times, but they didn't click. This site did. After that, I was like welp. I'm aro. Not much I can do about that. I should add that I am still friends with this boy. Looking back, I think it's the eyes. People look at you differently when they like you platonically, versus romantically. I feel it viscerally. I remember him looking at me with this serene smile, like I was the only girl in the room, and I wanted to look anywhere else. Without that moment, I might still be questioning.

My teacher's words after explaining that aromanticism is a lot like being straight, except everyone's your gender: "So it's like being a straight boy in a room full of straight boys."

I attempted to do some scientific research on aromanticism (with little success), but I did find out that for women, it is not uncommon to change sexuality later in life (as in, transition from straight to gay or bi). However, people like to say things like, "You don't need to label yourself," or, "You've got your whole life to figure that out," and they're well-meaning but really it just comes out sounding like, "Don't worry! You might still be straight!" How many movies/shows/books have you seen where the main character is sad and alone, and then they meet The One and it's happy endings all around? Look up the lyrics to "I'm a Believer". This mentality is everywhere. It's also known as amatonormativity, if you haven't heard of it. I definitely feel this way from time to time. I try to remind myself that it's not specifically romantic closeness I'm craving, it's just closeness, period. You don't have to be lovers to cuddle on the couch and watch TV, overshare the events of your day, or share the burdens of everyday life. Romance just facilitates the process. Also, it is possible to not experience romantic attraction, but still desire a relationship. It's called being cupioromantic. Anyway, good luck on your soul search!

When watching Bob's Burgers, I genuinely root for Tina in her escapades to attract Jimmy Jr.

When I was sixteen I took a few driving lessons to get some extra practice. The driving instructor suggested, as a trick for looking well ahead on corners, to imagine I was looking for my crush/someone I found good looking. Well, I told him I didn't have a crush. After some pondering I was like, I guess I kind of like the look of Ryan Gosling (who doesn't). And he was like okay, you can imagine you're looking for Ryan Gosling around that corner. And I was like... I'd rather look for kittens...

Had a brief moment in eighth grade when I thought I might be gay (turned out to be a friend crush). I had heard of asexuality first on a documentary while channel surfing, then on social media. I imagined what a catch I would be as an asexual, someone you could settle down and raise kids with and didn't care if you saw other women. Lol. Of course it was all hypothetical. I stumbled upon the word demisexual, that seemed to fit. From that point on I was just ambiguous. I had a friend who liked me as more than a friend, and we agreed to just wait and see how things worked out. I never used the word "asexual" because that seemed like giving up, but I did tell him I didn't know my sexuality, and that I felt about 12 years old when it came to this stuff. When I started university I did some soul searching. I had always been "the girl focused on her studies", and realized that wasn't an excuse for not experiencing desires. I reached the inescapable conclusion that I was indeed aro, had some mixed feelings about that. Now I'll tell anyone who listens.

Love Stinks, how could we forget Love Stinks.

Here's a story for you guys. A tenth grade all girls slumber party. The guys had been evicted by eleven, and the rest of us had just turned the corner of midnight. Like the dorks that we were, we were camped out in our sleeping bags with the lights off, playing truth or dare without the dare. Except, instead of one person answering a question, everyone would answer. One of such questions was, "Who would you marry?" Everyone was naming their crushes, and making a big deal about it. Getting all nervous, squeaking out the answer, giggling, that sort of thing. Then it was my turn. I picked the person I got along with better than anybody. "Probably... My mom." "Your MOM????"

You are right on the money. I listen to Hybrid Theory every now and again. Although 70% of my music is your typical girly pop Anyone who likes tastefully written songs about love and heartbreak (as in, lyrics that don't necessarily have to be taken romantically) should check out Michelle Branch. Her songs are the type that have staying power (as opposed to the pop songs you hear on the radio, become obsessed with, then get sick of). "Breathe" and "All You Wanted" are great songs to start with. I know I said aromantic songs at the start but I just gotta blast my fave artist

I like songs about love and heartbreak as much as the next person, but I think we can all agree songs without romantic/sexual themes can be few and far between. Post your faves here. I'll get us started with: Chasing the Sun- Sara Bareilles Break Stuff- Limp Bizkit One Girl Revolution- Superchick

That awkward moment when you've brought a friend to prom, but they like you as more than a friend and you're like okay, let's try this out. So a slow song comes on and you're there, swaying back and forth, squirming under the weight of extended eye contact. And then he starts leaning in slowly. And you're leaning out, slowly... Amazingly, he understands when you say you just want to be friends. And the next day you're like hmm I wonder if I'm aro