Naegleria fowleri

Drawing inspiration from the pride group at my school, having low-key events/activities that may have nothing to with orientation, such as DnD, art, music, snack potluck, etc, could be a good way to draw in a range of people. Such as those who are unsure about their orientation, may be aro but don't want to admit it yet, or are romantic but want to be an ally/learn more about aromanticism. Are you thinking of making the group exclusive to aces and aros, or open to all? The pride group at my school is very inclusive (we have plenty of straight and cis members and pretty much only exclude phobic jerks) and it works well for us. Lets people join without outing themselves, and all.

2 hours ago, Tired-Sparo said:

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Untouched yet tainted by man

 

Like a grand ball hosted by nature itself.

 

Trees bow in greeting,

 

Cicadas sing their praise,

 

Butterflies flutter across the jade floor,

 

 

 

The palmettos wave their fans,

 

Ever so polite are these forest beings.

 

Expressive yet silent,

 

They watch as man treads

 

Through the meticulously created ball room.

 

 

 

The lovely outfits of the occasion

 

Shades of jade and emerald,

 

The frequent peridot,

 

The occasional amethyst,

 

All glittering in the bright light of this glorious occasion.

 

 

 

Reminiscent of the fae,

 

You’re drawn in alone with sweet sounds

 

Never to walk out again if not cautious.

 

Yet nature is also kind in its care

 

For one cannot help but smile

 

 

 

At such a peaceful scene before them.

 

Old trees with beards of gray,

 

Friendly footmen enjoying the greenery,

 

A symphony incapable of transcription,

 

Welcome to any who enter.

 

 

 

I was not born into this grandeur,

 

Yet a path has been carved for me.

 

Connected like that of branches,

 

Yet separated like earth and water,

 

I have yet to find my place.

 

 

 

Such a variety of dancers,

 

Some fresh faces close by the ground,

 

Some aged with long and curling fingers,

 

Some half way gone resting upon a leafy bed.

 

I wonder how small and young I seem to them.

 

 

 

Their years are innumerable,

 

Mine are finite.

 

Born of the same world,

 

Yet different in life,

 

And different in death.

 

 

 

I know once I leave this palace

 

Its inhabitants will continue the dance,

 

Will switch the musicians,

 

Further the conversation

 

Whether man decides to attend or not.

 

 

 

Although man claims the occasion,

 

Man did not create it.

 

Nature built this palace

 

Brick by brick and piece by piece,

 

Yet man has claimed his room.

 

 

 

Gracious hosts invite man in for a visit

 

Although he brings his bags as if to stay.

 

He works for the lovely hosts

 

Providing for all who visit,

 

Tempting visitors to stay.

 

 

 

Man does not steal the spotlight,

 

But leaves fingerprints

 

Throughout the halls,

 

And interrupts the music

 

With his own song.

 

 

 

He pretends to speak for the silent,

 

Attempts to understand

 

The vast ballroom not of his creation,

 

And control it

 

In what human ways he can.

 

 

 

Nature is a name given by man.

 

He feigns knowledge to gain entrance,

 

Pretends to know nature

 

Like a simple definition,

 

But he doesn’t really know.

 

 

 

It is impossible to know a place

 

That transforms so quickly,

 

That disappears and again

 

Rises like phoenix from ash,

 

Forever retaining a fresh face.

 

 

 

Man pretends to recognize

 

Each new face as it appears,

 

But instead he creates a new definition,

 

A person to go along with the face,

 

And he always pretends they are a friend.

 

 

 

Sometimes a close friend,

 

Sometimes more distant,

 

But man always claims to know

 

Nature as if he were there

 

When it was brought into the world.

 

 

 

Nature is indifferent.

 

It does not require anything

 

To continue to host the ball,

 

Does not require comfort,

 

All it needs are guests.

 

 

 

The guests create a community

 

Which thrives off of each other,

 

Which helps pick up the phoenix

 

When it is ready to be reborn,

 

It does not need man.

 

 

 

Although man is not necessary,

 

Nature welcomes man to watch.

 

Nature provides help when man needs it,

 

And he gladly accepts

 

For he knows he needs the help of the hosts.

 

 

 

Man feigns being self-sufficient,

 

But man cannot create something of nothing,

 

Nature is necessary to build a palace.

 

Man can only mimic the wondrous designs

 

Of the ever changing palace.

 

 

 

Although man can be imposing,

 

He is forever grateful.

 

Always showing appreciation

 

At least every few years

 

For the gracious gifts of the hosts.

 

 

 

This palace will flourish for years to come.

 

There was a time before the palace,

 

And there will be a time after,

 

But as long as the palace stands

 

It will continue to cling

 

 

 

Onto the ashes to be reborn.

 

Some rooms may have collapsed,

 

But new rooms will be constructed.

 

Some rooms may be weathered,

 

But new paint will be applied.

 

 

 

Nature will continue without man

 

Just as this palace continues to stand

 

With or without its visitors,

 

Some building upon its splendor,

 

Some simply spectators.

 

 

 

Man can only hope the palace continues to stand

 

For even after long absences,

 

Even after hurtful acts,

 

Man will always need nature,

 

And will continue to be but a humble observer

 

 

 

In the palace that is nature.

 

 

Wow... I really like this. How long does something like that take to write?

I find this to be a very intriguing question too, and I didn't fill out the poll because what I really want to say is... both?

Like, I don't think there was a time where I was ever romantic. But perhaps some of us are born more susceptible to becoming one thing or another, and our environment can sway in a certain direction. I've often wondered, if I'd grown up with two parents who loved each other romantically and all that stereotypical stuff, would I have ended up romantic? Maybe. Although I believe in another topic we were talking about orientations of family members, and some people did have highly romantic parents. So I dunno. I'd love it if some scientists could crack down on some research though.

1 hour ago, ladyasym said:

Whenever I pictured myself living as an adult, I always saw myself alone, in a cozy small house or an apartment. This never really occurred to me until one day while living with an ex-partner, he asked me what my ideal kitchen would look like, and I suddenly realized that I would never feel entirely content with someone else's stuff or aesthetic  tastes in 'my' space (outside of a roommate situation). He liked picturing us merging our stuff, and I was hugely uncomfortable with it.

I could never picture myself sharing a bed with someone for the rest of my life ?

I checked short stories and other because I tend to write half-novels that I get bored of and usually don't come back to, haha. (Is that prose? I think of prose as poetry without the rigid structure.) Also songs sometimes.

For anyone who wants a platform for choose your own adventure stories (which I got into because I'm a nerd for the Lifeline games) Twine is a good one: http://twinery.org/

Never understood why people used words like "cute" and "hot" when what they really meant was "good looking". Anyway, sometimes my Mom would find a certain actor on TV good looking and say, "Isn't he so hot?" or something to that effect. And 14ish-year-old me replied, "I don't know. I just think of boys as 'ugly' and 'not ugly'."

Lol so I guess my attempt at attaching images to this site was a bust (they looked like pictures before I hit submit), but anyway they're all just pictures of Louise saying stuff on the episode "Bob Actually". The quotes struck a chord with me, and I'm glad that even though she kisses him at the end (it turned out Rudy like liked someone else who stood him up, and she felt bad for him), the kiss is not all that romantic, and she proceeds to slap him and tells him never to tell anyone what just happened. Classic Louise.

I know she's only nine but please consider Louise Belcher from Bob's Burgers as aro-spec.

 

"Rudy like likes me, sick!"

 

"Why would Rudy do something like this? What kind of idiot like likes someone?"

 

Tina: Wait, Rudy likes you?

Louise: Yeah, unfortunately.

Tina: Oh. Don't you like Rudy?

Louise: No, not like that! We have a good thing going the way it is. We're buddies. (Sigh) There's gotta be a way I can stop this.

 

"Look, no, I get it. We live in a commercial culture. Love is in the movies, it's in all the songs, but we don't have to be pawns in the game."

 

I know there's already been aromanticism/romanticism tests posted before, but I liked this one because it didn't suggest I was just one thing. Rather, it assigns probabilities to different orientations based on your answers. I also found it split up romantic and sexual attraction pretty well.

Feel free to share your results. My top two suggestions were aromantic asexual (42%), and demisexual (33%), which is pretty spot on with what I've thought to date. It also said I was 0% likely a romantic sexual, lol.

https://www.allthetests.com/quiz32/quiz/1434229189/Are-you-aromantic

I thought there was an age poll on this site somewhere but I really, really cannot find it. I think most people were late teens/early twenties. 

I voted first person because that's the case the majority of the time, but sometimes I'm watching people I don't know from the third person and I'm not there. There's usually more than just sight and sound but less than five senses. Like colour vision, sound, and tactile senses like touch and temperature. I've been aware of my dreaming occasionally but I've never tried to control it.

I went to the beach yesterday and played with my mom's boyfriend's friends' kids. Watched a three-year-old gleefully discover water balloons for the first time 

Only one copy of your body can exist at any time (ie. you must travel "through" past/future versions of yourself in order to reach your destination). Therefore the time machine is limited to the years during which the user has been/is/will be alive. You will never meet a living dinosaur.

I wish I was straight (please corrupt this wish )

Another question for the romantic people: What does it feel like when someone is interested in you, but you aren't interested back? I've wondered if the feeling is similar to what aros experience in these situations (keeping in mind that there is wide variety among aros alone). However from what I've observed, it seems like the uninterested party can go along for the ride, just to see if anything is there (ex. They can kiss the person to see if sparks will fly). Is this a difficult thing to do? How big of a barrier is the absence of attraction at the first point of contact?

Most people in my life are pretty open-minded, so I've come out a lot. First I came out to my Mom, and her response was basically, "Alright, is there anything else you wanted to tell me?" Then I figured the boy I friend-zoned at prom (before I knew I was aro) deserved some sort of explanation. He was pretty understanding, although the labeling seemed to irk him. We're still good friends though. When I handed out pamphlets and chocolate during aro-spec awareness week at my school, I got responses all over the board from, "Wow, I had no idea that was a thing, that's so cool!" to, "That sounds like a psychopath!" (I had to explain to one lady that we are not soulless creatures, that we still love family and friends but just don't fall in love; after that she was more accepting.)

And then there was the time I came out to a friend as aroace and she was like, "Hey me too!!!!"

Anyway, this thread might help anybody looking for a way to accurately and succinctly come out to others.

I scored 6, with a little generosity.

3 = kinda

17 and 18 = yes (based on my platonic infatuation for a particular musician)

20, 40 and 174 = yes

Alloromantics: Do you feel there is an age at which someone is "too young" to have a crush? I've heard people talk about having their first crush at age 10 or so, or realizing their sexuality before hitting high school (age 13), and my instinct was always, "What? You're too young!" However, I've also heard the term "kid crush" used when referring to the crush-like behaviours of younger children. Do you consider kid crushes to be legitimate crushes, or do they sort of "not count" because the child is too young to really know what they're feeling? Thanks for your response!

-In my head I want to do quasi-romantic things (sensual things?) like sit extra close with a person who's not family or lay my head on their shoulder but in real life it's like, no, no, too close. Hence why I asked my friend to slow dance with me at prom and then instantly regretted it. I don't know when a situation is going to romance-repulse me until it does  

-I think romance done right is kind of aborbs (especially when it's my Mom and her boyfriend leaving each other little notes)

-I own a concert T-shirt that says Hopeless Romantic on it, and I wear it

5 hours ago, Somewhatgrey1989 said:

Do you hope that one day someone comes along to make you feel different, or do you like being the way that you are?

It's not really on my bucket list. It more depends on the mood I'm in that day.

So I brought up a topic a while ago called: "How has your upbringing influenced your attitude towards romance?" For me, growing up with a single mother meant I became very close to a single person, but I also tended to devalue romantic relationships. The things I would desire from a romantic relationship (ie. snuggling, sharing the important and menial events of my life, cheering each other on, emotional support) I get from my mom. However, if I were to meet someone I could bond closely with, either romantically or platonically, I could see myself sharing a life with that person. From what I've seen, a relationship doesn't survive off of romance alone. "Falling in love" is a chemical trick of the brain, it doesn't last. People stay married either out of obligation, or emotional closeness. When I used to envision myself married, I skipped the wedding, skipped the honeymoon, skipped the gooey-eyed looks, and went straight to the silent, mutual appreciation of each other's existence. You might have to ask yourself what it is you really want in a relationship, which can be complicated because relationships are so multi-faceted. But once you figure that out, you'll have a better idea of how to make life better for yourself. The power is with you.

7 hours ago, Somewhatgrey1989 said:

If you don’t mind me asking, how did you figure out you were aromantic? Has it always been this way for you or have you changed over time?

I just started university this year, so there hasn't been much time for me to "change over time". Unless you count that kid crush I had in elementary school, which I have no recollection of but somehow there is photographic evidence of it. But no, I just kind of came to the term aromantic as the inevitable conclusion of years of denial. That's the short version. Here's the long version:

In twelfth grade I met this boy at my staff Christmas party, and he liked me. He was mature, smart, funny, and sweet to me, and not bad looking. I got excited, and I thought, this must be the fabled crush everyone talks about. I went to bed that night smiling. The next day, the feeling had mellowed out. I had met someone new who was cool, that's all. We went to Dairy Queen on a friends date. He paid, we hugged goodbye. We decided to keep things open, because I essentially told him I wasn't feeling "it" but I might at some point. A few months of this, and then I invite him to prom.

That poor boy. All the mixed messages. I asked him to slow dance, and I regretted it pretty quick. I regretted it before he leaned in towards me, read my body language, and aborted mission. I told him I just wanted to be friends. That I didn't think I wanted a boyfriend. I couldn't articulate myself at this point, but the words in my head were along the lines of, "I want to want a relationship, but I just can't get there," or "It feels like the part of me that's responsible for all of that stuff is missing."

You'd think I would have gotten it by that point, but no. I thought, well maybe I'm demi, and just haven't met the one. Maybe there's no one of my type at my school (and if you could see my yearbook, you would know that was entirely possible). It wasn't until I was in university, and dared myself to actually look at the people around me (I'm in my own head a lot) for two weeks and see if I felt something. It was rare for me to like someone's physical appearance, and when I did I felt no inclination to pursue anything. I told myself, check out the girls. Maybe you're gay. I wasn't.

And so, I stumbled upon Arocalypse, specifically the "You Might Be Aro If" segment, and I almost got teary eyed. People understand! I'm not the only one! Because I had heard the definitions of aromantic and asexual so many times, but they didn't click. This site did.

After that, I was like welp. I'm aro. Not much I can do about that.

I should add that I am still friends with this boy.

Looking back, I think it's the eyes. People look at you differently when they like you platonically, versus romantically. I feel it viscerally. I remember him looking at me with this serene smile, like I was the only girl in the room, and I wanted to look anywhere else. Without that moment, I might still be questioning.

My teacher's words after explaining that aromanticism is a lot like being straight, except everyone's your gender:

"So it's like being a straight boy in a room full of straight boys."

I attempted to do some scientific research on aromanticism (with little success), but I did find out that for women, it is not uncommon to change sexuality later in life (as in, transition from straight to gay or bi). However, people like to say things like, "You don't need to label yourself," or, "You've got your whole life to figure that out," and they're well-meaning but really it just comes out sounding like, "Don't worry! You might still be straight!"

How many movies/shows/books have you seen where the main character is sad and alone, and then they meet The One and it's happy endings all around? Look up the lyrics to "I'm a Believer". This mentality is everywhere. It's also known as amatonormativity, if you haven't heard of it.

42 minutes ago, Somewhatgrey1989 said:

I don’t WANT to be a grey- romantic at all, I want to be a normal alloromantic person and be able to fall in love, etc.

I definitely feel this way from time to time. I try to remind myself that it's not specifically romantic closeness I'm craving, it's just closeness, period. You don't have to be lovers to cuddle on the couch and watch TV, overshare the events of your day, or share the burdens of everyday life. Romance just facilitates the process. Also, it is possible to not experience romantic attraction, but still desire a relationship. It's called being cupioromantic.

Anyway, good luck on your soul search!

When watching Bob's Burgers, I genuinely root for Tina in her escapades to attract Jimmy Jr.

When I was sixteen I took a few driving lessons to get some extra practice. The driving instructor suggested, as a trick for looking well ahead on corners, to imagine I was looking for my crush/someone I found good looking. Well, I told him I didn't have a crush. After some pondering I was like, I guess I kind of like the look of Ryan Gosling (who doesn't). And he was like okay, you can imagine you're looking for Ryan Gosling around that corner. And I was like... I'd rather look for kittens...

Had a brief moment in eighth grade when I thought I might be gay (turned out to be a friend crush). I had heard of asexuality first on a documentary while channel surfing, then on social media. I imagined what a catch I would be as an asexual, someone you could settle down and raise kids with and didn't care if you saw other women. Lol. Of course it was all hypothetical. I stumbled upon the word demisexual, that seemed to fit. From that point on I was just ambiguous. I had a friend who liked me as more than a friend, and we agreed to just wait and see how things worked out. I never used the word "asexual" because that seemed like giving up, but I did tell him I didn't know my sexuality, and that I felt about 12 years old when it came to this stuff.

When I started university I did some soul searching. I had always been "the girl focused on her studies", and realized that wasn't an excuse for not experiencing desires. I reached the inescapable conclusion that I was indeed aro, had some mixed feelings about that. Now I'll tell anyone who listens. 

Love Stinks, how could we forget Love Stinks.