I just joined, I found this forum because it was mentioned on AUREA'S website and I was curious. I hope I like it here, it seems nice so far.
I'm romance repulsed aromantic, and I use the term apothiromantic aroallo to describe that. I don't always feel romance repulsed but it's the feeling I get the most often, so aligning my identity with it feels right and it makes me feel comfortable.
I'm almost an adult now, but when I was younger I would do this thing where I'd tell my friends I liked certain people I thought were out of my league to avoid the whole crush thing. At the time I thought I did like these people, maybe I did but not in the way they liked their crushes. I liked my "crushes" aesthetically more than anything. I always borrowed words when it came to talking about the ways I liked my crush because they were always asking for that, I don't know why. I'd steal love confessions from television, I'd even reiterate what one of my friends was saying just to avoid the fact that I actually didn't like my "crushes" at all.
My first boyfriend I was pressured into by my friend. She wouldn't stop telling me how I needed a boyfriend and that he seemed so perfect. The whole time we were dating it just felt like we went from passive friends to best friends. Which is good for me because it meant I didn't have to go through any actual romance as a kid. The most "romantic" thing we did was hug, and he met my dad once but that's about it. I don't think the guy really wanted to date anyone but he just said yes to see how it was or something.
I still didn't realize I was aro until I saw my friend posting about aro week on tumblr and I saw all this pride stuff and all these people's experiences and I related to them so much. See, I'd gone through the asexual side of things and tried out that label and then decided it didn't fit me, but I had never done that for aromantic.
Sure, I'd tried a few different arospec labels but I'd never actually gone through and looked at aromantic and arospec experiences. I knew the labels by name and definition and to me that's all I needed to know. I, for some reason, didn't find it necessary to look at the actual experiences of people on the aro spectrum even if I thought I was part of it. In reality I was probably too scared to. I remember questioning if I was fully aro a few times and then getting terrified and pretending it never happened. I don't know why I was scared but I was.
It's just really nice to finally know I'm aro, and just have something to be so proud of. It's truly my proudest identity. I take more pride in being aro than I do in being gay, and I guess that says a lot?
Anyways I'm just really happy to be in more aromantic spaces. I have a tumblr blog dedicated to aromanticism if anyone here would like to take a look! You definitely don't have to but if you want to you can! It's @/arosuggestions on tumblr. It's not my main blog but I really love running it. It makes me so happy to have a place where I can be just so unabashedly aromantic. And I hope this place can be like that too :o)
Thank you for letting me ramble on, but I'll leave you alone for now. I can't wait to meet all of you!
