ewitscas

confusion has escalated o.o an identity change from one to the other, rather than persisting throughout? and if its the opposite of asexual, which is non-sexual, does that mean all-sexual? and how does this differ from pansexual if so? is it just because allo belongs under an aro umbrella? something has been lost in translation i think?

this actually sounds pretty spot on about the type of fwb relationship due to the less suffocating feeling; i think that would make me most comfortable. the only issue there is i find the idea of sex with a person that is also having sex with others sort of off-putting. it probably wouldn't make me turn away completely, so there's that, lol. i will look into the different types of attraction for sure! thank you. i intend to look into this further, thank you! yeah, i will look into what the differences are to see what applies to me the best :] i need to find out what squish means, but yeah the close bond thing is something i like the idea of having overall. i need to find the definitions of allo and aro allo now, thank you!

i don't really know where i fall on the spectrum, if i do at all. mostly, i am questioning. in theory, romantic relationships seem nice. in practice, it feels lacking to me. i like the idea of it, i like writing about it in stories. when it comes to being in a romantic relationship, however, i feel like it or i am lacking. i don't like all the kissing and face sucking stuff. it makes me cringe, even if in my mind it sounds like it could be nice. in practice i can't really stand it. i've tried. i've failed. i'm terrible at trying to do romantic stuff surrounding sex - why light candles for that? (for a relaxing bath alone, sure.) why mood music? it feels weird to me. i don't really like foreplay that much either. i get bored with it. i like sex itself, and i don't exactly need there to be emotion involved in it or anything, but i do like some passion in the act instead of anything that feels robotic. i sometimes like cuddling (in a catlike way, only sometimes do i want to be touched that much), and i can be affectionate in small ways (head rubs, short back rubs, a press of lips to a shoulder, hand holding, hand on an arm or leg, etc.), but more than that and it's iffy territory for me. i don't like having to give constant attention to someone. i like having my space, and i can't stand the idea of someone controlling me with a relationship. i like the idea of being on my own. i like the idea of being able to focus on friendships instead of just a romantic relationship that, really, just makes me wish i had someone to trust and be friends with for sex without all the intense attachments of romantic relationships and demands. i don't want to have to choose to repress my happiness to keep someone else happy. i want to be happy when and if i am making others happy in some way. i have intense emotions for people sometimes, but i am questioning if it's romantic love or i just thought it was for so long. maybe it is a different kind of love. maybe i see love in a weird way. maybe i just don't have a clue what healthy love looks like in the first place. i don't know. i've been thinking i am just broken. anyone able to point me in a direction where i might be able to gain some insight?