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briesplease

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Everything posted by briesplease

  1. Holy by Jamilla Woods! for all my fellow black aro girls
  2. So far I'm very heterosexual and VERY aromantic so my sexual attraction is usually aesthetically tied. I usually immediately know I'm sexually attracted and move to initiate a sexual interaction (Seems aggressive, but it's more casual, consenting, and context appropriate than I described and not very frequent.). These feelings aren't usually tied, or followed by any romantic desires, but maybe more sexual ones lol. I do tend to have sexual desires for the same person for a long time. My sexual attraction is more physical than say my sensual desires to caress or cuddle my friends which develop with time from a want to show I care physically. and the way I FEEL is very different when experiencing these.
  3. I've been lucky to cultivate long-term sexual nonromantic a few times. Lust and sensuality were definitely staples of the relationships, but I can say that a more emotional bond was created through LOTS of mutual respect for the situation (generated through communication about the schematics of the relationship), willingness to interact with each as non-sexual, non-romantic individuals for each others pleasure/friendship (Giving each other rides, cooking/eating meals together, healthy chit-chat even if we're trying to right to the point, touch/cuddling/partner care). Though they are very intimate due to the nature of the relationship, theres an understanding that this aspect of the relationship is/ can be private. There is no room for possessiveness or jealousy, just honesty. I can say that there was no real attempt to make a deep connection with these partners before I started a sexual relationship. But we did create a deeper friendship than "just fucking" as we continued exploring the sexual relationship. These relationships were interesting especially in the sense of us not being exclusive, romantic, or dating in any sense, and having no obligation to each other (except to tell the other when you need time, or the situation is no longer working.), but still a closer relationship than other day to day nonsexual, nonromantic relationships.
  4. Yes, I don't even know the artist, i nearly cried reading "[important person] comes out as aromantic"
  5. I used to think all my friends are crazy (I still do sometimes) about the things and behavior they'll deal with for the sake of romantic love. Or the the leaps and bounds they'd take to make someone like them; the changing of appearance, and behavior to win the romantic affection of another person. It always irritated me. people joke about "Dump him" culture, but I am always 100% serious.
  6. i NEVER understood shipping. It was always so random and weird to me. I never associated that me being aro until now
  7. Frances Ha! I cried, shows the importance of friendships, and the experience of having an all friend enter a romantic relationship. Also Portlandia is great, they can get a bit touchy when it comes to certain issues but I mostly watch it because I love Fred and Carries relationship. Such a wonderful, strong, platonic bond
  8. I've recently gone from identifying as arospec to grayrom, and have been in varying types of relationships. I've been in one purposeful romantic relationship which I think was a squish which was pressured to romance. I wasn't successful or happy in that relationship because I genuinely enjoyed his company but I always felt inadequate because he needed a romantic aspect I couldn't give him. I have been in long term sexual relationships that I couldn't distinguish from romance until I found that feeling and relationships can be platonic, sensual, sexual, romantic, etc and intersect but don't need to. I started finding that the energy I bring into and have with my partner in sexual relationships is very different than the energy between those I share strong platonic or sensual platonic relationships with. My sexual life is very compartmentalized from other aspects of my life. I had a very intimate platonic relationship with a male friend of mine a few years back we spent a lot of time together, we held hands and were very comfortable with physical contact (we never kissed or anything). He was my best friend. It confused some people but like it was fine. I came out to him as aro, and he didn't take it very well. He called me selfish. We're no longer friends. He broke my heart. My closer female relationships haven't been constrained by the expectation of sex or romance with varying degrees of platonic--> sensual platonic type relationships.
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