atrocious_ar0mantic

If my doctor told me I could not use a knee brace because it would weaken my thigh muscles even more, does that exclude me from using a cane? I’ve been using a cane (unknown to my family + new doctor) for about a month now, and it’s been saving my ass in school. But now I’m worried it could make my chronic pain worse, or further complicate things. I’m a minor who doesn’t really know who to get help from (because of ableism). Do any other chronically ill folks have any suggestions / experience here?

CW: Rant, brief mentions of sexual trauma I know I need therapy. But I live in the deep South, and my chances of finding a queer-affirming therapist have always been low. Even more so for ones who are affirming to aro-spec and ace-spec labels. The last therapist I had was acephobic. I have sexual trauma I need to work through, but I’m always terrified to bring it up. I know most will think my queer identities are a product of my trauma, rather than considering how my queer identities factored into my trauma. I’m a minor who’s dependent on my bio family as of now. Last time I asked for therapy, my mom wanted to know the reason why. She said so she could know what kind of therapist to get me. When my mom found out about me being s*xually gr**med, she humiliated me. And she’s always been barely tolerant to my queer labels. With all that in mind- is therapy currently worth pursuing? What kind of excuse should I give my mother in the “reason” department? Are there any resources anyone can give for someone in my position?

Because of how highly romantic attraction is valued, and how desirability itself is based upon it- does anyone else ever get a bit of a power rush when people admit being invested in you romantically? Sometimes I get repulsion, sometimes a bit of guilt. And sometimes I can’t bring myself to care. I like feeling out of reach. I can’t help but laugh sometimes when people make those advances towards me cuz b u d d y, you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree; I’m flattered nonetheless.

I play a few dating sims here and there. The majority of them tend to run on the amatonormative side, disappointingly enough. But I like the few runs I do get where I get to see intimate moments with queer characters- especially if there’s an added fantasy element to it.

In all honesty, I don’t have the energy to fake it. I’d be upfront with the teacher about my identity. If it wasn’t well-received, I’d either take the F or be a sarcastic arse about it.

Does anyone else listen to TMA here? I just finished MAG 16 Arachnophobia before bed. Which truly was a poor decision on my end

Are any other fellow aroaces particular about how they present their identity for fear of invalidation? I don’t like letting on to most people that I do occasionally find people attractive, or aesthetically pleasing- because they always assume and insist there’s “something more” behind it. Or that it’s proof that you’re not r e a l l y aroace.

My furchildren. I have two shorthair tabby cats who I’ve had for as long as I can remember. They’re both very plump and vocal loaves

I have a box of beans. For sensory purposes -

Initially I went with aroace_auncle. because I’m aroace and just really like alliterations alongside the idea of being a queer auncle figure to lil kids. I switched it to lovely-lavender on a whim. Lavender is a name of mine, and again, I have a running theme of picking alliterations.

I’m currently a high school student. All throughout middle I genuinely couldn’t wrap my head around students being romantically and/or sexually involved. I thought we were ‘too young’. At that time, I thought I’d be “ready” by high school, and that things would be clicking. They never did. I still look around at students and think about how small we all are. Maybe this can be partially attributed to the fact that romantic and sexual pursuits are associated with coming-of-age and maturity- and that while I always heard students talk about those sorts of shenanigans, I was terrible at picking up on actual romantic and sexual relations (typically) unless directly stated. It came off as bluffing to me. That in mind, I think when I see all these high schoolers, I just imagine tiny people trying too hard to be adults. I hear them talking about romance or sex and that’s one thing, but the actual involvement doesn’t cross my mind all too often. It’s like my mind has no problem with it in theory, but actually putting name to those actions? Seeing those events unfold in reality? It doesn’t click. It feels immature, but maybe that’s because most of the romantic relationships I bear witness to are with short-lived, straight-passing couples who are waist-deep into cisheteronormativity. The rules of amatonormativity are hardly logical either. But it just doesn’t add up for me. Maybe it’s because I can easily see myself being one of those people. I was one of those people for awhile. I knew how to pick a “decent” crush, knew how to sit through all those stupid sessions of “Kiss, Marry Kill”, fawn, all that fun middle school jazz that (regretfully) didn’t seem to die out in high school. Maybe it’s so confusing to me because I went through all the hypothetical notions; I could talk the talk but couldn’t walk the walk, so seeing other people carrying that stuff out is.. boggling ? I dunno. Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

Honestly? I feel the latter as well. I have a companion who only used to message me when xe was out and about with her romantic partner. Or their romantic partner happened to be the only subject xe would bring up with me in attempts to connect? The guilt for me doesn't stem from the actual repulsion and/or agitation of the topic. It's knowing that if I try to redirect the conversation (especially in an obvious way), I'm gonna be seen as That Bitter Aro -

Greetings and salutations

Are there any other folks who fall under the trans and/or nb umbrella who can really appreciate realizing you were aro? Because I feel like one of the most common transphobic rhetorics thrown around is that “nobody will love you if you’re (insert identity)”. And while this extends to all different flavors of love, most people put an emphasis on the romantic aspect of it. That if you’re not cis, nobody is going to want to be in a romantic relationship with you, or be attracted to you romantically. The benefit of realizing you’re aro or aro-spec though is that you’re much more likely to recognize amatonormativity and it’s negative effects. You’re able to build your own self-worth outside of those standards. And it’s very liberating to divert those expectations entirely, to realize they don’t even apply to you to begin with. Anyone else?

I don’t personally want my own kids. I like kids and working with them, but I don’t want to be involved with them 24/7. I’d be much more content working in a daycare, as a teacher- even being a godparent or auncle to a kid. But I don’t want one in my living space all the time- just not my vibe.