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  1. Nice to meet you too. Nice to know that I'm not the only one in this situation - I mean ... it would be better if non of us were in this situation, but you get what I mean
  2. @NullVector one thing is sure: our perception of others and the perception that others have of us it's very unprecise. Many people are able to hide their real self very well. People don't even know what my interests are, and based on what they see they make assumptions about me. We need to be very careful when trying to understand how others perceive the world. But anyway, I think that the better thing to do is to live and experience what we can. Maybe we'll find out something about ourselves. In the end the only thing that really metters is how we percive ourselves.
  3. To reach order, society makes meanings and practices up ; when they become normal, society get's blinded by his own constructions, and instead of dealing with the anormality, the system goes on and the intial construct becomes weaker and less inclusive of the members of society. We build our own cages and despise everything outside them. "Love" was never really defined and "Romance" too. People use one word to express something extremly subjective. That's how I see it.
  4. Honestly in this period of my life I'm just confused about a lot of shit ahahah For the past 3 years I've been struggling with religious identity. Now sexual and romantic. I like girls for sure but all the stuff linked to it it's just chaos.
  5. I'm sorry that I don't have the answer, but if you don't mind I'll tell you about my experience because maybe I'm in your same boat. Tell me if it's similar. So you feel sexual attraction in general, but when it comes to real life context you do not have sexual desire? Personally I do experencie sexual attraction towards women (meaning that -in my mind- I don't despise sex at all), but outside my "personal sphere" I do not have strong sexual desire. Other guys seem to be constantly thinking about it and constantly actively trying to have sex. I, on the other hand, feel attracted but don't have this strong sexual desire and when it comes to real life it just disappears. When I think about having sex with someone I know it just seems wrong, but I don't despise porn and what comes with it (even tho it's getting kind of boring ahahah). I need to specify that I've never had real sex experiences and honeslty I'm not actively trying to have them. In real life I'm "pleased" when looking at girls that I find attractive, but it's not proper sexual desire. (I'm thinking that mine is mainly aesthetic attraction with some sexual attraction on the side XD). Sometimes tho I even get a sense of disgust after watching porn. (Give me another brain please) Sorry if I've invaded your post. I hope to help you and help me at the same time
  6. I had (still have) this "problem" the other way round. Whenever I invite some friend of mine (girl) for a pizza or just to go to the cinema, people just assume that is due to romantic intentions. The problem is that also the girls I invite think that I want to get romantically involved and then they feel bad when I say it wasn't, some got angry at me saying that I was sending signals (no idea what they were referring to). It just puts me in an unconfortable position; as soon as I get seen with some girl and we are "alone" everyone thinks that's because I'm "interested in them". Now I am very careful with my actions near girls and also pay more attention to how they behave near me. It's stressful, but I don't want to give wrong impressions.
  7. Exactly, people seem to make it a huge deal. People tell me that it's so strong it's impossible to not realise you felt it, so I just gave up on trying to understand it Yeah, you described it perfectly: inability /lack of desire. I've written about relationships but non-romantic ones. Just now I realise that all the relationships I wrote about are platonic ones without even realising it ... can't even belive it ahahahah Btw thanks for the welcome everyone
  8. Thank you for your answer and for your time. I just want to give you a clearer idea about this: So I need to start by saying that I don't think I've ever felt romantic attraction (I'm saying this because link the word "feelings" to romantic attraction) , however when I felt physical/sexual attraction for someone, the attraction was there only before interacting with that person; after interacting with them and getting to know them (I might still find them attractive) but the desire of intercourse vanishes (even before the other person shows some kind of "affection/interest"). For some time I've been mistaking physical attraction for romantic attraction and later realised that I didn't really know what romantic attraction was (and still don't know XD). In some cases I tried (really hard) to convince myself that I liked someone I knew, but obviouslly it wans't real; I was even forcing myself to think about that person. The more I think about it, the more it seems ridiculus. I started connecting the dots when I started writing about 3 years ago. I could not write romantic relationships. Whenever I tried to they seemed fake, and even the characters "knew" that their relastionship wans't really romantic, but it was almost like they had to be together because that's what people are supposed to do. Hope that It's clearer now.
  9. I'm a straight guy (20 years old) and came on this forum to try to better understand myself. It's something that I never did in my life, I tend to keep my thoughts for myself also because people are usually uninterested or give me stupid sterothipical answers. I've never been in a relationship and only tried to be in one when I was 13/14 (without putting to much effort in it). I felt several "strange" things and had "strange" experiences: usually I feel sexually/physically attracted to people I don't know , but not in a strong way, I may only have sexual thoughts that go away very fast. Never felt that "strong drive" people talk about, I don't even understand if such a thing exists and, if it does, what it is like ... so I don't understand if I've ever experienced it (the fact that I'm questioning it, brings me to the conclusion that I've never felt it). Furthermore, in the cases when I'm physically attracted by someone I try to push into my mind that I like that person romantically, but I actually don't ... as soon as I become friend of that person that weak feeling gets destroied (sometimes even before becoming friends)... In some cases (when I was younger) I tried to convince myself that I was romantically attracted by someone but later realised I wasn't (still, never tried actively to get into a relationship with them) even when I wans't physically attracted, I just felt I had to feel something (It's hard to explain) The strange part is that, when I see couples doing the things that couples do I just get unconfortable, almost disgusted; I don't like movies, books etc where the plot contains romantic stuff but stilll, sometimes I think that I want to be in a romantic relationship: more specifically I want to be strongly appreciated and linked by and with someone. You know, like some very strong bound (I write, draw and love philosopy and I would love someone that would stimulate me intellectually... I don't know how to explain it). However I don't like the concept of marriage, I don't understend the concept of love, I don't feel it, I don't know what the hell it is. I'd like sexual relationships but at the same time I don't like sexual relationships that do not involve romantic links between people. I'm in a limbo and I understand very little about all this. People have been telling me that soon or later I'll get with someone (they've been saying it my whole life and still do), some thought I was gay because I've never dated any girl (but I'm sure that I'm straight). Anyway just wanted to present myself by explaining why I'm here in the first place. Sorry for the long post. Hope to talk with interesting people
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