ConcernedSister

Wow thank you so much for replying. I got a lot out of this. My sister isn't asexual, but she's also told me she doesn't feel like she needs to have sex to live a full life. But I know she does experience sexual attraction. I'll be sure to check out that link you sent me. I just texted her a few minutes ago, because I came to the realization that being "just friends" with someone is a whole lot more than people give it credit. It isn't "just friends." Being friends is amazing! Why should it be downplayed in favor of a romantic relationship? As someone who is alloromanic, a close platonic friendship is really nice because you don't get wrapped up in it the same way as a romantic relationship. Romance is hard, and stressful. It can be rewarding for me when it is right, but it definitely can be very hard. Friendship doesn't hold that same stress in my eyes. Being friends is different, not less than being romantic lovers. Both are valid forms of human attachment, and can be equally satisfying.

I love my sister very much, and I've known that she identifies as aromantic for a few years now, probably since she started college. I'm bisexual, and romantic myself. Things have been rough for my sister for the past two years. She's been dealing with major depression, and it's been taxing for me and my family. When she has a bad day, she is very impulsive, and tends to immediately jump to some kind of suicidal gesture. Otherwise, when her days are good, she is like the person I've always known her to be; outgoing, funny, opinionated, and strong. She is in therapy, and takes anti-depressants. Recently, she got accepted into nursing school. Things have been tough because her best friend of eight years moved away and she's been heartbroken about it. I recently moved as well because I started my career as a teacher. She called me today to talk about her aromanticism. She had a bad day in class, and felt like no one there gets her. She told me she really wants another relationship like she had with her friend that moved away, but she is worried she won't find someone who wants to be platonic friends with a strong, almost romantic bond (minus the romance.) We live in Kansas, and she is feeling very much like there isn't anyone out there for her to be close to, or anyone who will want the kind of relationship she wants. I told her to join this forum, and reassured her that there are people who want the same thing she wants. I think she just feels extremely isolated right now. I'm feeling powerless to help her, mainly because I'm not aromantic and I worry that I "don't get it." I want to change that, I want to educate myself so I can be there for her. She tried to kill herself again today - I just want to help her manage her pain and to embrace who she is. if anyone has advice, or good resources for aromantic allies, I would really appreciate it. Thanks.