LifezVictory

It’s been forever and a day since I’ve visited these forums, but I’m coming back strong.

I was just coming out of the shower and getting dressed when my mind began to wonder, as it does. And I remembered a video I found while browsing TV Tropes. It’s a song from Sesame Street called Five Purple Conkers. It’s about the titular creatures hanging out together in various places, while being killed off one by one. Yeah, you read that right. Who knew a segment of Sesame Street could be so brutal?

Except, it’s not quite as straight forward as that. Normally songs of this nature would keep going until one remained, like some G-rated Hunger Games. But this song stops when there are two Conkers left. They get married, have a baby, and all is well.

Now, look. I’m not so naive to believe that this was intentional, but the more I think about it the more I realize that this is the perfect example of how many allos view relationships. In the song, the three less fortunate Conkers are taken out fairly quickly, with very little fanfare. If you were just listening to the song and didn’t watch the animation, you wouldn’t even know that’s what was happening The singer is very quick to gloss over the carnage. He just says that one swam away,one flew away and one got stuck. Very innocent compared to what actually happened.

However, the narrator is very eager to tell about how the two remaining Conkers were ‘living in harmony,’ and how they and their yellow honker baby ‘loved one another for they were a family.’ And this is the very definition of amatonormativity. Your friends are getting more distant and drifting away from you? Well that doesn’t matter as long as you have a romantic partner and/or children in your life.

On 6/19/2023 at 9:21 PM, Moth Lady said:Papyrus, Undertale: aroace

When I first saw how the ending of Frisk's and Papyrus's date went and they ended up being friends, I was so happy. This was before I learned I was aroace and it struck every me as weird why I loved it so much. But now, ✨I know.✨   

I'd get sad when characters got together because I knew they wouldn't spend as much time with their friends and family. Also, I always hated the phrases "just friends" and "more than friends" since the first time I ever heard them.

There have been times when characters in stuff I read or watch get together and people are like "I knew it! There was so much subtext and chemistry!" But to me it felt like it happened out of nowhere, and I thought it was just people's tendency to romantically ship everyone before it became canon.

Yeah, that sounds like a squish alright.

I thought about watching this movie, but now I don’t think I will.

Also, I hate how they changed Lake’s pronouns to she/her in the movie, or so I’ve heard.

On 8/6/2022 at 3:51 PM, alto said:

I think I might be a paragirl too.

Cool. I'm glad I could help you.

Update: Okay so I thought about it, and I realized that I don't think I'm actually a paragirl. I'm now pretty sure that I'm fully female, but just gender non-conforming. This feels like a much better fit to be honest.

Update: I think I mit be genderflux, as well. Because right now, I don't think I'd want to be called they/them. I'll have to think about this more.

Hi. I was wondering if there might be anything that can be done to make this site easier to navigate with a screenreader? It works okay already, but it can be a bit confusing to navigate at times. Mostly because a lot of the links don't seem to have labels.
Tbh I have no idea how to fix that, but I still think it is a good thing to keep in mind.

5 minutes ago, QueerDisabledVegan said:

It's good that you've figured your gender out! I bet that's a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders. It took me 2+ years to finally realise my own identity lmao, so I know how frustrating it can be.

Idk, I mostly just felt guilty over liking to be called they/them sometimes since I also felt like a girl because I thought I shouldn't. I thought it would be like spitting in the faces of NB people, since they need to be called those pronouns to feel comfortable and I'm totally fine with she/her being used and haven't had any dysphoria (not with my gender anyway.) It sounds a little dumb written out this way, but I'll admit I still feel that way a bit, even now. But I figure hey, they're just words that anyone's allowed to use, and me using them isn't keeping other people from also using them.

I recently posted a status about my pronoun changes, and decided to look up a label that might fit, and I've decided that the best one for me would be a paragirl. It's sort of like a demigirl, but instead of identifying as about half female it's like 90 percent. I think it explains how I mostly want to use she/her pronouns but also like they/them, plus the fact that I've always been kind of a tomboy.

I don't know if I'm going to tell anyone IRL. Definitely not my grandparents but my mom might understand. But since I don't feel dysphoria when still describing myself as a girl and using she/her mostly, I don't really think I need to and might only say something when or if it comes up.

Do you know what would fix these problems? If people communicated, and they were upfront about their intentions. You know, instead of expecting people will just read their minds and understand. It’s the thing that really annoys me about allos.

Hey, they have a subreddit now. The devs have posted in depth descriptions of the app and it’s features so I recommend you check it out. It probably has a Discord link too.

Here's the song.

Guys I just found an awesome short film about being aroace and queerplatonic relationships that I think you should check out. It’s pretty good.

Heyo, here's yet another new Discord link. Wish there was a better way to do this.

Updated link to server

On 7/29/2021 at 11:55 AM, Mark said:

I'd define it was wanting to be in a romantic (or similar) relationship with someone.
With romantic relationships being those where ideas like being "in a relationship" or "in a couple" are very important. Possibly even more important than what happens within that relationship.

That doesn't sound very healthy... /nbr

Or, is the way people write about it a hyperbole? Because it sure as heck sounds like it. Is it really so strong that you feel compelled to obsess over that person (which doesn't seem healthy) and seemingly make everyone else in your life second best? I'm sorry if I come off as negative here but I'm scared that all my friends will leave me for a partner, and then I'll be alone since I don't want/barely understand that kind of relationship.

No, thank goodness. and if it ever does, I won’t hesitate to be blunt about my lack of interest. I don’t consider myself to be a mean person by nature, but sometimes it’s the only way to get them to leave you the heck alone.

On 9/27/2021 at 9:46 PM, MaikeruSapphire said:

I was in a "romantic relationship" once. I put this in quotes because, in hindsight, it was really just a friendship, but we both called it a romantic relationship, so I guess that's what it was? This was before I figured out I was aro. Probably would have been a pretty good friendship too if I didn't misjudge a desire for friendship as romantic attraction. :P

I'm not a big fan of the awkwardness that comes with of being near that person, knowing that we used to be in what we both called a romantic relationship. Kinda brings ba

Isn’t that what a romantic relationship is, though? When people decide to call it that and do the things associated? That’s my understanding of it, anyway.

37 minutes ago, Aimee03 said:

Agreed! Can't stand it. Does nothing for me.

I generally didn't enjoy any aspects of trying to be in a romantic relationship though.

 

17 minutes ago, Aimee03 said:

Hey, I like that idea! ?

Just call 1-800-RENT-A-FRIEND!Can we, like, make that a thing? Please?

Hey everybody. I’m curious if anyone else has ever experienced this. Well I mean i’m pretty sure there’s at least one person out there who has, but I’d still like to have a discussion about this.

So like I know there are aros out there who are oblivious as heck of romantic intentions, and I was too at one point, the first guy who had (or at least admitted that he had) a crush on me didn’t seem to make any advances (or what I would categorize in my allopedia as advances) until he flat out told me that he had a crush on me. And rather than feeling happy like I thought I should, instead I felt uncomfortable and kinda betrayed, but that’s a story for another time.

thing is, ever since then, especially when I[m on my period and my emotions are high, I always read way deeper into every interaction I have with people near my age, but mostly with boys because heteronormativity am I right? I find myself thinking stuff like: Oh no, did he offer to help because he has feelings for me, whatever that means? Or He’s been talking to me an awful lot, what if… please no!

And it’s exhausting because I wish that I could just go on innocently being friends with people, but I really have a bad habit of thinking deeply into every little thing. Helpful in English class, not so much in real life, unfortunately.

How do you mention someone on here? I've tried typing @ and their username but that doesn't work. I'm using a screenreader so that might have something to do with it, but if anyone could give me advice I'd really appreciate it.