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Status Updates posted by aro_elise

  1. oh right, it's pride month.  no parades, but still celebrating 🎉:aropride:

  2. i'm 22 now!  i guess i've known i'm aro for about 5 years...it feels like ages.  

    1. Apathetic Echidna

      Apathetic Echidna

      Happy Birthday! 🎆💚💐🎇

    2. aro_elise


      thanks!  i was also born on a tuesday, may 26th.

  3. This is personal but I had sex for the first time (with my ex-bf and current friend, who knows I’m aro), and later when we were going to sleep he put his hand on my waist and kissed my shoulder and I thought ‘yeah, this isn’t working for me’.  I had a feeling this is where split attraction would get tricky.  I hope it gets easier. 

    1. Eklinaar


      I hope it was a good experience otherwise.  I'd say that's a good sign of where to create some boundaries.

    2. aro_elise


      It was fine.  We agreed not to be sexually involved anymore—stuff’s just too complicated between us, we’re good as friends.  But with future partners, yeah, establishing that stuff will be important. 

  4. just thinking about if i didn't know i was aro, how unhappy i'd be.  this community saved me.

  5. my lecture focused on queer theory today, and during discussion, i threw in a casual reference to romantic orientation by saying "cisgender, heterosexual, and heteroromantic".  i also included a line about my aromanticism in the brief reflection we had to hand in.  just sneaking stuff in there. 

  6. i think i have a squish on a guy in my class.  i noticed him last year but we didn't really talk until now.

  7. my friend came out as asexual (i knew she was questioning) and our friend grilled her about it and i tried to have her back without speaking for her.  i just know it's not as easy to explain and stuff in the beginning.  

  8. me: damn he's cute

    my self-doubt: must be a crush

    me: lmao as if 

    1. NotHeartless
    2. aro_elise


      haha right, i'm just thinking about him a lot, but if i try to think about anything romantic with him (or anyone) i'm like, ew no.

    3. NotHeartless


      I know what you mean. Happens to me when I have a squish or sexual crush sometimes (thinking about someone a lot but well, without romantic feelings).

  9. in conversation, my coworker said she didn't want to assume i wanted to marry a man, so i said "i don't want to marry anyone, but i like guys."  how's that for a vague but accurate summary of my orientation?  on the spot, too.

  10. not going to pride this year 😕  i'm working, and i have no one to go with.  are you guys going?

    1. aro_elise


      last year i went with my friend and her uni friends, one of whom is actually aro, but this year she's going with her family, and again, i don't want to antagonize my new employer.  it's chill, though, i don't mind not going every year.

  11. just aesthetic attraction things: i saw a gorgeous woman at a party and said to my mom "she's so pretty!"  though i've told her i'm definitely not, she may think i'm bisexual.  it's far from the first time i've observed a lovely lady.  😆  but wow, she sure was.

  12. my friend (possibly ace-spec) asked about different types of attraction and i explained them and QPRs.  😊

  13. there's a cute guy in my class but i'm not about to just talk to him, you know? 

  14. it's aromantic awareness week! :aropride:

  15. i might be going to a seminar on platonic affection and love languages!  i just saw it on fb.  in the description they didn't mention aromanticism but they did mention amatonormativity; it sounds cool.

    1. NullVector


      That does sound cool. You should report back to us re. what gets discussed if you do go! :)

    2. NotHeartless


      I'd love to hear how it was, too. Sounds great, if you go: have fun!

    3. Anything_but_allo


      Awesome! Hope it goes well :D

  16. i find myself thinking i'd like to meet a guy...exactly what sort of relationship i want, i don't know, but i've been single for almost 3 years and, well, if nothing else it would stir up some drama in my life. 🤷‍♀️

  17. i saw someone (not on here) whose username had 'aro' in it so i messaged her asking, "like aromantic?"  she goes "how do you know???"  apparently she'd never met any others.  we had a good chat.

  18. off topic but after i relapsed with self harm i asked my roommate to take my blades (and the one from the blender, in case).  it was uncomfortable but i'm kind of proud of myself.  you have to make deliberate decisions to heal.

    1. NullVector


      It's good that you have friends like that. I think it's really important to recognise that we can't do everything by ourselves (actually, it may be unhealthy to tell ourselves that we can, particularly when trying to make positive changes in our lives to do with breaking old habits?) and to feel able to ask for support from other people. Even (especially?) when it feels awkward to do it.


      Now I just need to try taking my own advice there more, hah.

    2. aro_elise


      thanks.  i remind myself that if i ever want to start seeing a therapist again, find one.  i do tend to wait until the damage is done rather than take precautions to prevent it in the first place but i'm working on it.  good luck to you too.

    3. NullVector


      I reckon it takes a bit of practice to pick up on things earlier, before they get out of hand. A bit like keeping your balance on a tightrope or slack line (I was trying this the other day, lol). At first you make a few big movements and fall off a lot; but if you can learn to make a lot of smaller, more frequent corrections, you keep your balance better (random analogy, but maybe it helps?)


      I'm doing better recently, actually. Made myself get out of the house more to interact with people. It helps.

  19. just btw, i'll gladly answer pretty much any question you have for me, whether apropos of something i wrote or of nothing.  i may not be thrilled with everything allos ask me, but i know you guys are always motivated by genuine interest and open-mindedness and i love talking to you.

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Eklinaar


      Whew, I can relate to this a lot.  People thinking it's acceptable to blow off their friends irritates me a lot.  My first long-term girlfriend regularly criticized me for not blowing off my friends to be with her instead, and I told her that was a shitty thing for her to ask me to do, but she maintained it was not.  It's frustrating that mistreating friends is normalized.


      I think I'm out of questions for now, but this has been great.  Feel free to contact me any time if you want to talk.  There have been some interesting conversations on Tumblr lately about the intersection of aromanticism and polyamory, though I think a lot of it would just be really obvious to you.

    3. NullVector


      Just wanted to say to both of you that I really enjoyed reading this conversation :). Good questions from @Eklinaar and interesting and thoughtful responses from @aro_elise.

    4. aro_elise


      thanks, both of you.  (ahh i haven't been on in a while!)  i've enjoyed it, too.  i do follow a few aro blogs on tumblr.

  20. so i talked about getting over a squish.  well, jokes, i still like him.

  21. i think i'm falling out of like (?) with a squish and i'm ok with it

  22. i think i have a squish/aro crush 😊

  23. my best friend just called me her best friend and told me she loves me endlessly and i cried.  i'll never get tired of hearing that stuff.  

    1. Eklinaar


      what wholesome aro content

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