Dragonheart

For the longest time I just wanted it to be me and one best friend. Who this best friend might be changed over time, at first is was my brother, then it was a different person, and then those two started dating and long story short, I don't talk to either of them. But my new best friend suggested the idea of him and his girlfriend/future wife and I getting a place together, and that actually sounds better than my original plan did. It would be so perfect.

That's my response too. I remember a friend said, trying to use this as an example for something else, "If your brother was spending a lot of time with a single girl, wouldn't her girlfriend feel uncomfortable with that?" To which I responded, "If she did, I would be very, very angry with her. If she doesn't trust him enough to be okay with him doing that, she has no freaking business dating my brother."

THIS! Sorry friends, but I have some unpacking to do. So, to start, let me say that I'm really restrictive about who I consider "Best friends". There's only four of them, and one of those is my brother. So, my brother and my other oldest best friend, we'll call her Pearl, didn't really get along at first. Well, two Christmases ago, that changed. Last year they started dating. Now, lots of things weren't going great, and it didn't help that we were all living in the same tiny apartment (their dating is chaste, by the way, so I didn't have to worry about THAT), but Pearl, who had already been talking to me less than she had previously, simply stopped confiding in me at all. Keep in mind, I have been friends with her for years, I have supported her through chronic depression and suicidal thoughts, and at many points was her only close friend. But she's got a boyfriend now, so who needs that, huh? Nice end to my first squish. I've been so freaking conflicted, because I've worked so hard over the years to suppress any negative opinions of her, because she has enough people (herself included) telling her that she's bad, and now it's so much harder because the squish is gone and I'm frustrated with her, and let's be honest, she can be whiny and passive-aggressive. Plus, she never showed much affect toward me, and I figured, hey, that's just how she works. Turns out, she had plenty of affection to give. In a romantic relationship. Sometimes I freaking hate allo-tendencies. Like, we've known each other for years, I've been with you through thick and thin, but you've been friends for my brother for three months and dating for a few weeks and suddenly he means more than I do? What happened to your supposed strong loyalty?