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Everything posted by Dragonheart

  1. For the longest time I just wanted it to be me and one best friend. Who this best friend might be changed over time, at first is was my brother, then it was a different person, and then those two started dating and long story short, I don't talk to either of them. But my new best friend suggested the idea of him and his girlfriend/future wife and I getting a place together, and that actually sounds better than my original plan did. It would be so perfect.
  2. *squees* Oh, gosh, all you people! ^__^ How lovely it is to stumble into a bunch of people who think these things I have thought for years that none seemed to understand! How freeing to hear (read) some of you talking about relationships that actually make sense to me that remain within the romantic orientation that I identify with! I sometimes felt I would be somewhat of an outcast in this community for what I saw as "falling in love". See, I've always just assumed that what allos do is 99% infatuation mistaken for romance due to media representation, and that what I thought made sense was just something forgotten by our culture. But, apparently, what I think of as love is just what those like us see. Yes, I must agree that the way that allos fall out of love is concerning. Honestly, it's one of the many reasons I could never consider a romantic relationship. A stable friendship that will last a lifetime suddenly becomes endangered by... whatever it is that messes up otherwise working relationships? Like, I swear, sometimes romantic relationships seem to fall apart for no reason, and it's always horribly painful for the people, and I don't get it! It makes me worry over one of my best friends, because he's got a girlfriend, and he and she are both great people, but somehow being good people who love each other isn't always enough? And I'm just really worried that it's going to fall apart like they sometimes do and that he'll be hurt. *whispers* Allos are terrifying.
  3. Thank you very much, for your advice and your welcome! I don't really have my writing up anywhere yet, but I'll definitely let you know when that changes! Thank you! Thanks!
  4. Wise people who describe my heart, please if you can, tell me, what is the difference between this and romance? I can't tell if what I have for a friend is a crush or a squish...
  5. That's my response too. I remember a friend said, trying to use this as an example for something else, "If your brother was spending a lot of time with a single girl, wouldn't her girlfriend feel uncomfortable with that?" To which I responded, "If she did, I would be very, very angry with her. If she doesn't trust him enough to be okay with him doing that, she has no freaking business dating my brother."
  6. Hey guys. DH here. I'm a Christian, feminist, writer, artist, 19-year-old demigirl. I'm usually really cheerful and positive, but that's probably not the side you'll be seeing much of... You see, for years I've been a confident, proud aro-ace. I'm still solid on the ace part, but the aro thing has been challenged in some odd ways lately, and I can't seem to figure myself out. Nor can I figure out the rest of society. I put my romantic orientation down as "aromantc/grey-quoiromantic/demipan/confused?!?" because the logical side of my brain says "Romance makes no sense. It's unfair, illogical, hurtful, and binding." and the emotional side of my brain says, "You like to be free, and getting married would limit you. You're strong on your own, and you love it." but is also says "Him." I couldn't freaking tell you what romance is, and I couldn't tell you if that's what I want, but I CAN tell you that I'm freaking confused on the subject. That's what I'm here to try to find out, because allos seem to have some real trouble explaining themselves, because it's like a color-blind person asking a normal person what the color green is like. Which is an accurate metaphor, but suddenly makes this seem quite hopeless. On a more chipper note, I love fantasy novels, video games, dragons, kitties, Undertale, Halo, Eragon, Lord of the Rings, God, and freaking LGBT+ pride. Can't wait to go to pride for the first time. I'm a dragon mama, so expect me to be there by your side to give you encouragement when I can't fight you battles like I'd love to. I'm soft and cowering and I get ashamed of things that I tell my friends not to worry about like unpacking emotional issues and talking too much, and I'm loud and angry and like making a scene of my difference, because gosh be darned if I'm gonna let you continue on in your little bubble, and I'm balanced and calm and patient. I'm a flurry of contradictions that lead to a bark louder than my bite that is only uttered to friends and myself anyway and huge amount of frustration. I love humanity and I can't stand them. I'm frustrated as heck at allos and I think I might be one of them. I'm doing well and I'm bursting at the seams. And freaking gosh am I compartmentalized. So I apologize that this is likely where most of my uncertainty and turbulence will come out, but I needed a place, and I've been flip-flopping to my friends so much recently, and the one I really want to talk to this about is the one I absolutely can't tell. SO. Love you all and thank you for having me.
  7. THIS! Sorry friends, but I have some unpacking to do. So, to start, let me say that I'm really restrictive about who I consider "Best friends". There's only four of them, and one of those is my brother. So, my brother and my other oldest best friend, we'll call her Pearl, didn't really get along at first. Well, two Christmases ago, that changed. Last year they started dating. Now, lots of things weren't going great, and it didn't help that we were all living in the same tiny apartment (their dating is chaste, by the way, so I didn't have to worry about THAT), but Pearl, who had already been talking to me less than she had previously, simply stopped confiding in me at all. Keep in mind, I have been friends with her for years, I have supported her through chronic depression and suicidal thoughts, and at many points was her only close friend. But she's got a boyfriend now, so who needs that, huh? Nice end to my first squish. I've been so freaking conflicted, because I've worked so hard over the years to suppress any negative opinions of her, because she has enough people (herself included) telling her that she's bad, and now it's so much harder because the squish is gone and I'm frustrated with her, and let's be honest, she can be whiny and passive-aggressive. Plus, she never showed much affect toward me, and I figured, hey, that's just how she works. Turns out, she had plenty of affection to give. In a romantic relationship. Sometimes I freaking hate allo-tendencies. Like, we've known each other for years, I've been with you through thick and thin, but you've been friends for my brother for three months and dating for a few weeks and suddenly he means more than I do? What happened to your supposed strong loyalty?
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