Queen of Spades

Alloromantics: if both research and your own experience(s) have proven to you that romantic attraction is involuntary and ephemeral, then why do you keep chasing it? :-?

In Romanian it's "aromantic", too :p. But pronounced differently, of course.

The ones who wouldn't have gone voting otherwise would unawarely contribute to the worst candidate being chosen every time. I wish stopped ageing physically - as in look exacly like I do now until the day I die.

This is creepy. If someone were to change once they find a partner, it should only be for the BETTER. Otherwise it's toxic and abnormal as hell. Also, I don't really get why so many alloromantics consider themselves a half of someone. If I ever get to have a partner, I'd see us as two whole entities who are right for each other.

I, for one, don't really get the point of celebrating anniversaries. What are you, people, counting exactly? :-?

So I was 8 and one day my uncle on my father's side invited my parents and me to a restaurant with the purpose of introducing his girlfriend to us and the other way round. In my language, one word for "girlfriend" is the same as the one for "female friend". So guess what. "Oh, so she's a woman he's getting along very well with!", I thought to myself.

"Aromantics are immature relationship-wise." See how I busted this myth here: http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/956-what-on-earth-does-romance-have-to-do-with-maturity/

Or "I love you, but I'm NOT in love with you".

No, this is not what I meant. There are 2 types of "romance": non-toxic one and toxic one (as in the one that comes with addiction and abusive/controlling behaviour, and which seems to be glorified nowadays). Also, she once stated that her favourite love song is "Every breath you take" by The Police. The lyrics send shivers down my spine.

Thank you! And no, it's not that. It is because my mother is narrow-minded and places romance on a pedestal. She would always claim that unless you feel you're losing your mind over a person and stuff, then it's NOT true love. Like hell she would believe me. Besides, I DO wish to find someone to share my life with - just no romance and no children (and no, the latter has nothing to do with my being aromatic since there're quite a few alloromantics who also want to be child-free). But she won't get that, either. Because she feel victim to this world's toxic romance culture a long, long time ago.

I'll never tell them the truth. I am as sure as it comes that they won't ever believe me. It's not worth the trouble.

If to you, hearing people call their partners pet names/terms of endearment (baby, sweetheart, honey - the equivalents in my language sound even more awkward), and say "I love you" every 10 minutes in irrelevant contexts is sheer mental torture.

48

(Applying to women who DO experience sexual attraction) If when having sex, you don't care about matching your underwear (colour-wise), or wearing make-up during the hot time, or anything similar. Good hygiene and taking care of yourself is all that matters. And the music genre you like listening to when having sex is trance/house xD.

43

I (personally) perceive kissing (on mouth) as something with sexual connotations. Like the borderline between sensual and sexual. Therefore, if a boy do that to me out of the blue without our having discussed the thing before I'd totally freak out. :-s

I suggest a representative symbol for aromantics only: a heart of ice. A heart of ice can be melted, but it takes time! (a strong bond takes time to form!) A heart of ice is only melted (opening up, becoming warm towards people who prove themselves trustworthy), but doesn't catch fire! ("falling in love" = fire) Also, such a heart is not made of stone ;). (we are NOT unfeeling!)

Banned for laziness :p.

As a child, I had a very good (male) friend who was 3 years younger - we'd known each other ever since he was 1 or 2 as we lived in the same block for quite a while. We kept in touch after he moved out. We'd sleep over at each other's place now and then. We hung out with our mums before a sleepover. He was 9, I was 12. After that we walked towards my block and he took my hand. I felt comfortable since I walked holding hands with my good female friends, too, he was a good friend as well, so it was the same for me ;-?. We got in front of our block and I said hello to a neighbour, also younger than me, who was playing outside. As he saw us he burst out into laughter and started the classic "X and Y sitting in a tree" thing, and I didn't understand why he was making such assumptions!!!

Speaking for myself, I shave my armpits, legs, arms and certain parts of my private area because I want to do it, not because I'm supposed to. I find hair in those places an eye-sore. I'd do it even if I lived on my own on a remote island.

Has anyone been reading the Throne of Glass novel series? I bet my heat the main charachter (Celanea Sardothien - Aelin Galathynius by her real name) is demiromantic and demisexual. The two attractions always lined up for her, but she was friends first with the guy in every single case. Furthermore, somewhere in the third volume there's this sequence where it is described that the thought of sleeping with any man other than the one she desired at the time repulsed her.

I've only been sexually attracted to one boy so far. To me, it happens gradually. At first it was all about thoughts and fantasies. My mind started wandering about, if you know what I mean, Then as time passed, my body started reacting when I thought about him, too. The thought of being intimate with him is such a turn-on. This is how it works in my case. I have a strong desire for us to be skin against skin, to explore his body, and have him explore mine, and to feel his body as close to mine as possible in every way.

Well that's what I was trying to say, too. I'm repulsed by all those things.

I never understood those over-the-top stuff, all those declarations, wanting to be with them literally 24/7, RUSHING THINGS, etc. When I was 14, I started picturing what kind of relationship I'd like with a guy. I imagined we'd be like best friends, with all the ingredients necessary (respect, trust, loyalty, being there for each other etc.). We would be affectionate (hugs, cuddles, hand grips) as a representation of out strong bond which took time to form, and we would do all kinds of activities that best friends do, like coming to each other's house, having soft/energy drinks, eating junk food, playing games, laughing, discussing, watching/searching for random stuff on websites. We wouldn't give up on our own friends and hobbies, we'd find a balance between that and our relationship. I guessed when we're old enough we'd have sex, too (a monogamous sexual relationship, of course), as a way of having fun and make each other feel good, and when we become totally independent from our parents nothing would change except that we'd share everything: the house, the money, the responsibilities, the life. (Thank God I found the word "queerplatonic" when I was 18 :o)