Single Status Update
How do you even respond when an allo bff talks about how their death would have "little impact" on you when you clearly know it wouldn't and that they are just wenting about wanting a partner but like... that shit hurts to hear, like thanks for telling me my love for you always will be second best and that at most I will have is a second rate love from others when I've been trying to unlearn amatonormativity for years to not feel alone
(Not sure if this was a rhetorical question so forgive me if you're not looking for an answer and are just venting!)
This is something that's happened to me quite a bit as well and it's always so hurtful. Often times, especially for people with low self-esteem, people have the assumption in their heads that friends aren't allowed to be close or have strong love for one another. 1000% amatonormativity, as you've said, and it's taken me a while to articulate this to my friends (especially because I haven't used "amatonormativity"). However, after enough persistence, I've had friends really realize and understand that they mean a lot to me. It has often not been about friends not believing in my love, but rather about their own self-esteem and being convinced others don't really love them because they are unworthy of it. My heart goes out to you and I really hope this person didn't really mean that your love is second-rate but rather has their own issues that caused things to come out that way.