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About trillian25

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    Portland, OR

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  1. Yes! Intent is everything with any sexual/sensual/physical/platonic act. I am a very open person physically, I would be happy to hold hands, cuddle, kiss, and potentially have sex with most of my friends and other people I know (not family, but probably largely because it's such a deep taboo in society that it's ingrained in me that way). It doesn't have anything to do with emotions for me, it's a purely physical act that I would do more if people were OK receiving that. Sexual is sex related, but lacking in emotions, romantic is emotional, but doesn't have to involve any touch at all. The two can be combined in others, but they are quite separate for me, I rarely feel romantic, but often feel sexual.
  2. This seems the most accurate difference between the two. I do think that the physical aspect isn't necessarily a part of either a squish or a crush (for me physical contact is lovely, but completely unrelated to any emotional aspect. I can cuddle with pets, family, lovers, and friends and I feel about the same way with each, kissing and sex also work that way although I don't attempt them with pets and family lol). There are even groups of people (strangers) that get together strictly for cuddle sessions, it isn't something that needs to be tied to romantic interest at all. When I've had a crush on someone I think about being with them, us falling in love, joining our lives in some way (living together, marriage, kids (if I was into having kids), etc.). A squish seems to more about wanting to bond with the person intellectually, sharing common interests, enjoying time together, I may be sexually attracted to them or not, but that isn't important (I often think I could go either way and be happy). I currently have what I consider to be a massive squish on someone, it started as a crush, but he's aromantic and I'm somewhat lithromantic (or possibly just bad at romantic relationships) and once I realized that romance wasn't going to be a thing it switched in my mind. I now want to spend time with him, I can see us being best friends one day, but I don't have those gushy love feelings (I am beginning to love him, but just like I would a female friend or a close relative). It's a fairly fine line, but it's clear to me the difference, in fact if he were to declare a romantic interest me at this point I would actually be disappointed rather than excited (which to me is a huge indicator that it's no longer a crush).
  3. This is exactly where I'm at. I've had numerous "romantic relationships," but I've come to realize that what I largely felt was friendship combined with some sort of sexual attraction. Any romantic feelings I had were fairly short lived and not all that dissimilar to how I feel about a close friendship (of which I've only had maybe two outside of relationships). If I had to define romantic relationships both from what I've experienced from the people I was in them with and what I've observed from romantic couples I've known I would say it is like a friendship, but deeper. Every single person I've known who has been in romantic love (and this happens when I have an initial crush on someone) describes that rush and tingle you get in your chest when that person is around you, calls you, interacts with you in any way. It is a feeling that is really only reserved for romantic feelings, I get a similar feeling in my stomach for intense sexual desire, but they are different. I think there is also a sense of leading towards a bonded future together. Meaning marriage, or a marriage like intention to stay together, the possibility of shared children, pets, and assets. No, not every romantic relationship has this, but even polyamorous relationships have that in common, they are rarely just about friendship and or sex, they include an intention towards a loving future. On the contrary, at least for me, a platonic friend (sexual or not) is someone I may want to be around, I may even chose to move to be closer to them, we may live together, etc., but they don't give me that tingle of love and I have no intentions of sharing a child, pet, bank account or anything else with them. I think it's folly to try and define a romantic relationship without at least talking about love. Sure I can love my brother, I can love my friend, I can even love my dog, but it is different than being in-love and feeling like that other person is a literal part of me. I most closely identify as grey romantic and a bit lithromantic, so I think I basically understand what romantic relationships entail, but I'm not sure I've ever been part of one for longer than a couple of weeks, from what I've witnessed romantic relationships will wax and wane with respect to those feelings over time, but they all come back to those in-love feelings.
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