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Somechai

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Everything posted by Somechai

  1. YMBAI when you did want a romantic relationship, whenever you picture one in your head it was basically just platonic, sexual, or boring and empty like you were arranged to be there.
  2. I'm honestly new to the concept of aromanticism and no matter how much I research I always find myself to be still confused. All my life I thought that my crushes were real because I would get "butterflies" when I talk to them, but as it turns out anxiety does that to me even in other situations. I thought I really like to be in a romantic relationship someday but every time I try to picture myself with any of my crushes it would just be blur, unless I replace it with scenes from romance movies. I even got into my first relationship before and I was giddy at first then when it was official, everything just turned off all of a sudden. My perception of the person was the same but I didn't feel giddy anymore. Looking back, something inside me felt like I should have a crush because things were more interesting. My friends would talk to me about it. They would get excited, and then I would too. I would put up with the same crush despite barely knowing them. I realized I just needed something close to the ideals of society of who I should have a crush on or be in a relationship with, then I would let my imaginations try to convince me I like them in that way. Maybe the giddy feeling, which was similar to when I talk to new people or hype myself up for a speech on a stage, was a just a hope for me to feel accepted in some sort of way. My emotional trauma from childhood makes me emotionally needy in all kinds of relationships, so it's hard to know. It's been a while since I've had a crush ever since my first relationship. I now doubt that there would be again. But then again, I'm not sure.
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