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About Iamwilliame

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  1. I am curious as to why there seems to be far fewer people over the age of 40 who publicly identify as aromantic. Has anyone else noticed this?
  2. The most common issue I see is that I have had really good female friends over the years but once they are involved with a guy they can't really be close to me anymore. No amount of telling them I am not a threat to them helps.
  3. I have been in several relationships over the years. My last was 4 years ago before I realized I was aro. I liked them all as friends but as soon as things got lovey dovey I shut that shit down. I usually made excuses as to why I wasn't interested and have yet to tell anyone I'm aromantic. I'm only a few months into accepting that this is me and I am happy this way.
  4. Sounds pretty aro to me. I think if you see this same pattern in how you respond to others over time, there is a chance you are somewhere on the aromantic spectrum.
  5. Trust me, I'm puzzled as well. At the time when she and I were together, we both identified as bi-sexual. You have to understand, this was quite a few years ago. I was confused with my true feelings and very much in denial. I have always been less attracted to women in a sexual way and preferred their friendship more than anything. I am rarely attracted to anyone sexually. However, when I am, they are most often male. I do not act on those feelings but since I still feel them, I identify as aro and not aro/ace.
  6. I liked the companionship and we were close friends but I was always looking for ways to be alone. I was looking for a friend and she was looking for a life partner. Also, I have never been completely ace so there was that part of the relationship that was working. Out of ignorance, I tried to make it all work. And to answer your question, my partner did notice the indifference to romance. She thought she could change me and I thought I could change. Thing is, I didn't really want to change. The day my divorce was final, was one of the happiest days of my life. It wasn't because I hated my ex. It was because I was free to quit pretending.
  7. I am still trying to find the right time and way to tell my friends. I have no close family so it isn't a big deal there. I guess I'm afraid my friends won't take it seriously and will keep pressuring me to date and all that nonsense. How do you make people understand that this is how you are and how you want to be?
  8. I had to learn the hard way. I spent many years trying to do the whole dating and relationship thing (I was even married for awhile and have a son). I know now being aro is a huge part of why none of my relationships were successful. I kept thinking I wasn't finding the right one but eventually, I realized I was so much happier when I was single and not in a relationship or worrying about being in one. I was just going along with what society expected of me thinking that was what I was supposed to do in order to be happy. Discovering that I was aro was a real light bulb moment.
  9. I am confident on where I am romantically and sexually and don't go out of my way to explain it to others unless they ask. I don't feel obligated to please the LGBTQ community any more than anyone else. Toxic people can be found in all orientations. It's unfortunate that there is that mainly online segment of the population which thrives on tearing others down. I mean we all want the same thing which is to lead relatively normal lives and be respected for who we are.
  10. HI! I'm Will and just now starting the process of understanding what it is to be aromantic. I mean.......I have always felt this way but it is so liberating to know there is not something wrong with me being this way. It is like a huge burden has been lifted knowing I don't have to pretend like I'm interested in romantic attachments anymore. I'm looking forward to contributing and sharing my experiences here. Thanks.
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