mostlyjustlucy

On 09/04/2016 at 10:17 AM, IncrediblyIncompetent said:

I thought I was bi and just really cynical

Me too! Or I thought maybe I was just too shy to want to approach anyone who wasn't already a friend. 

(never quite managed to justify to myself how my friends liking me was also not okay) 

Real life romance that doesn't involve me is usually something I'm entirely indifferent towards - I don't really mind or notice PDA that involves strangers, and with my friends I occasionally have twinges of jealousy for stuff like hand-holding or cuddling, because that's the sort of touch I'd like to be able to engage in with them, but it's apparently a romantic partners only thing ?. So not really repulsion, more like, uncomfortable because everyone around me sees that sort of touch as romance coded.

Being repulsed by romantic feelings that are directed at me, however, is literally how I figured out I was aro at all. It feels absolutely awful as soon as someone expresses romantic feelings, or if someone else implies that someone might have romantic feelings for me, or implies that I have romantic feelings for someone. I'd always kind of assumed that the panic I'd feel when I got asked out was like, nerves and excitement. Turns out it was nerves and terror, but I was just pushing it away because I was meant to be pleased that people wanted to date me.

On a slightly lighter note, I'm cool with most romance in media (though it does get really boring and tiring). The one thing I absolutely can't stand is romantic comedies. I have to leave the room if someone is watching one, because they make my skin crawl.