Untamed Heart
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Everything posted by Untamed Heart
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I guess in my case, I'm more of a tomboy than a very feminine person and wouldn't care if I'd been flat chested? I can see why it wouldn't be classed as gender dysphoria though. I'm comfortable in my body, because I've learned to accept myself more since I left school - not because "I'm a woman with conveniently nice feminine features", but I dislike uninvited male attention, at least if those men seem the type who just see women walking round town as pieces of meat. That's what makes me want to hide my breasts, but I would agree probably not dysphoria in a broader sense.
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You might be aro if you've ever imagined being married to Batman, and realise he'd be a good husband precisely because you just wouldn't see each other that much, with you being out at work during the day and him fighting crime all night. It's also a bonus if you happen to be ace as well - Batman would probably be too tired or 'have a headache' when he finally gets home from dealing with all those insane villains
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I had pretty elaborate set ups where one Sim would be an imprisoned artist and painted portraits of the cow plant, before eventually being fed to it once they'd got to a high enough level of artistic talent and painted enough portraits to support the remaining household members... ^^"
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The future's bright, the future's Orange! (and red, yellow, black and white, green and purple and grey!)
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Count as high as possible before a staff member posts!
Untamed Heart replied to brsajo's topic in Aro-cade
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That really is great to hear, and thanks I never really got with anyone in the past "just because", more like I was looking for emotional support in what I felt was a rough few years in my life and thought romantic relationships could give me what I wanted (As Seen On TV lol), as I didn't really have any good friends and there were problems in the family. Nothing totally major, but I didn't feel like I could really share how I felt with anyone. They were all pretty similar experiences, but this time was a bit different and while I still wish it could have worked out for us, I'm glad it happened and I feel a lot different, more free and I understand myself a lot better. I also realise my first relationship, the only one I was truly happy in, was pretty close to being a QPP, as it felt like having a best friend as well as romantic partner, though it was long distance which probably helped in my case.
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Apocalypse (please beginneth lol)
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I think I've experienced it very mildly in the past. I have fairly ample breasts and used to sometimes not be comfortable with having them at all, particularly when they were drawing unwanted male attention. I did used to fantasise about binding my chest up instead of wearing a bra, to minimise them (they're saggy when not contained, so it would have been uncomfortable for me to just not wear a bra, not to mention probably also obvious if I was only wearing a T shirt).
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Mess
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I agree with you, on feeling lucky to be aro-spec and grey ace with Asperger's. I did think my difficulties 'feeling' anything in my last relationship were caused by it to at least a degree - trying to make conversation while Inner Me was flailing her arms and screaming "get the fuck outta here, it doesn't even feel like you can make friends with him!" knowing nothing about aromanticism at that point. I'm not great at socialising in general apart from when I'm with my good friends, and I don't get really attached to that many people. I think unless I feel some kind of "spark" for another person, I just don't have any motivation to find out more about them and can often find talking to people I don't know kind of boring at best. I'm one of those Aspies who needs a lot of alone time, doing my own things. So, for me at least, they're related.
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I'm still haunted by my last relationship, even though it's been over 6 months since I let him go. I never actually loved him and my attraction mostly just kept fading away once we'd got together, to the point where I just couldn't go on seeing him any more. I had ended up trying to fake it to make it in the end, hoping it would somehow, miraculously work, but it was pretty futile, and I was just left feeling sick, guilty, confused (cos I couldn't understand why I didn't love him - he was everything I felt I wanted in a man, wasn't doing anything wrong - and why I'd just ended up feeling the same things as in my past relationships). I'm totally fine being by myself, I'm not scared of being alone later on either, but it's so difficult when I "like" someone, and even though that's rare for me anyway, I'm dreading it happening again - would I be able to talk myself out of pursuing someone?
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Ugh. I let some guy in the door at work this afternoon because he was asking to see the manager about getting our outer wall fixed (as it got knocked down by a car again a few months ago) and he was talking about insurance and stuff. I didn't understand what he meant exactly, but let him in anyway. Turned out he was a random town drunk...
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What makes you feel romance repulsed?
Untamed Heart replied to Cassiopeia's topic in Aromantic Discussion
I think most of my repulsion comes from actually being in a relationship. I know I answered earlier, but the more I think about how I've felt before, and especially the last relationship I had (which is basically what led me to find out about asexuality/aromanticism), the more I realise it's something I used to like the idea of and sometimes kind of want, but not something I can handle in reality. It makes me feel sea sick! -
Lol, cos everyone's got time to make out and do lovey dovey stuff when they're being chased by undead creatures hungry for flesh and brains. That's something I liked about Shaun of the Dead, there was a romance there but it pretty much took a back seat. And the fast driving scenes were a bonus, in my book.
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Also, I went to the knitting shop after work and found a ball of yarn with all the aromantic flag colours in it
(I bought it too)
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I actually knit an ace scarf! It's not finished because I ran out of purple lol and couldn't find the time to get some more
Now I want to do the same with the aro flag colors! Yaay! Hopefully I find the different shades of green I want
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Just chewing over a thought I've had for a little while, and haven't seen addressed on any aro pages (but it probably has been at some point, and I admit this whole thing I'm typing is going to be generalised and probably sound completely stupid), that even though the result of being lithro or a so called 'commitment phobe' or person with commitment issues, can often be basically the same concerning romantic relationships, there seem to be important distinctions between the two types of people (though also, maybe some of them are liths and have no idea, and predictably end up getting that label. I've certainly wondered if I had commitment issues myself in the past).
From what I read up about (so called) commitment phobes, it seems they're more able to maintain their romantic feelings, maybe even for years, but not totally settle with one person. Maybe some (alloromantic) people just want to keep their options open, or it's some kind of uncertainty about the specific person, or people they've been with (not meeting the right people, but staying for at least a while, out of convenience or some other reason, but not being 100% happy with the situation).
I think the bottom line is, the crux of the issue for a person who doesn't want to commit likely isn't not being able to handle/disliking romantic reciprocation (I am aware some liths can in some circumstances too, but they might need more autonomy and space than an alloromantic person. Pretty sure I'm not one of them, though).
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Aromantic Character Headcanons
Untamed Heart replied to rayofsunshine's topic in Aromantic Pride and Culture
Bugger! -
Things you've never understood about romance
Untamed Heart replied to Sooty Owl's topic in Aromantic Discussion
Hehe, I've been able to happily ignore Valentine's Day for years to be honest, I like the legend behind it though. The movie/TV trope of a man saving a woman's life and she feels obligated to be with him or 'repay' his courage with certain favours... -
Things you've never understood about romance
Untamed Heart replied to Sooty Owl's topic in Aromantic Discussion
Reading up about it, I'm pretty sure I've been limerent in the past towards some people, but not really towards anyone I actually got into a relationship with. My friend describes it as 'the chase is better than the catch' but I just feel horrible now when I think about my past in those terms. Almost dirty in a way I've never understood why some people have got engaged or even married after knowing each other a very short amount of time - maybe even a day! Sure, it worked out for some people, but I'd bet my bottom dollar they're in the minority. Yet, they're still framed as positive, "I found The ONE and I'm telling my story to give hope to all the lonely singles out there TM " stories, rather than "acted ridiculously rashly, was lucky it worked out in our favour". -
Non joggers go for applesauce KORMA
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Aromantic Character Headcanons
Untamed Heart replied to rayofsunshine's topic in Aromantic Pride and Culture
Edgeworth from the Ace Attorney games - he never talks about women in romantic terms, is very absorbed in his work as a prosecutor and can get annoyed at the advances of another female character (Wendy Oldbag). -
Andy didn't imitate idiotic whales TFRDS
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I'd be in Gryffindor, no idea about anything to do with Divergent or Percy Jackson I'm afraid!
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Off topic - Is your avatar of Squall from FF8? He's my favourite Final Fantasy character ever! On topic - (also from slightly younger days of mine) some guy sitting on the pub steps with friends flirting with me as I walked past, asking if I "dig him". I just said no and scuttled off quickly
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I think it's because 'the outsider sees most of the game,' as I would put it. I have had relationship experience, though my romantic feelings are all over the map and usually not that strong anyway, but it's definitely more difficult to see what's going on from a logical viewpoint when you are in one. Pesky hormones etc! I have had to give a little advice to my best friend before, but she's been in the same relationship since I met her and it's pretty stable.
(I bought it too)
I'd like to make something in ace, lith and/or aro colours, probably gloves or some kind of plushie since I don't wear hats or scarves.