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About Miles

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  • Birthday 10/23/1997

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  • Orientation
    probably lesbian (do NOT call me h*m*romantic, monosexual/romantic, or alloromantic)
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    not saying for safety reasons

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  1. Okay, but as an acespec nb lesbian, I don't get why all aces or aros should be considered part of the cause I fight for? Because that cause is liberation from homophobia and transphobia (and all of their subsets, such as biphobia, sapphobia, transmisogyny, bimisogyny, nbphobia, lesbophobia, butchphobia, and panphobia), and some aces and aros experience neither.
  2. A disabled person calling someone out on ableism, as both morallygayro and I did, isn't a personal insult. And like...instead of telling a bi man and a lesbian, both of whom are apparently mentally ill and autistic (and I also have ADHD), to be quiet about ableism and homophobia, could people just not be ableist and homophobic? Because THAT is a personal insult, not calling someone ableist. I can't just not be gay and neurodivergent. @Thom can be not ableist.
  3. No, it's just straight up...not an orientation. Like at least with asexual that does describe who you're sexually attracted to, if not who you're attracted to overall. But with gray-ace, you're still by definition sexually attracted to someone. If someone said their orientation was asexual, it's entirely possible that they might not be attracted to anyone. Gray-ace doesn't even say who I'm sexually attracted to, just my relationship with sex. But if someone's gray-ace, even if they're also aromantic, and both sex and romance repulsed, they're still attracted to someone. They're still gay, straight, bi, pan, ply, andro, gyne, etc.
  4. I'm so sure your friends know everything. How are your genitals not female, unless you don't see them as such? You're female, therefore your body is female if you say it is. Some women have testes. Some have XY chromosomes. Some have flat chests without the help of a binder. Some have narrow hips. That doesn't make them any less female and it doesn't make you less female either.
  5. Just because I can identify however I want doesn't mean I'm oppressed for every identity I have, and it doesn't mean that every identity I have is an orientation. What is my orientation is who I'm attracted to: women and woman-aligned nonbinary people. Therefore, I'm sapphic. That's my orientation. Not gray-ace.
  6. You mean they could have any genitals? That doesn't make them "male bodied" or "female bodied", and it doesn't affect your orientation.
  7. I can call myself both. I call myself a lot of things. I'm a witch. I'm a teenager. I'm in college. I'm, I don't know, allergic to paprika. What all of those traits have in common with asexuality is that I'm not oppressed for any of them, and that they don't describe who I'm attracted to even though they impact my life.
  8. This makes no sense. I'm a woman-aligned nonbinary person who is attracted to women. Therefore, I'm sapphic. I can't just opt out of that.
  9. I already explained. Experiencing homophobia is not a privilege. It should be obvious that I, a nonbinary, mentally ill, autistic, gnc wlw, am completely unable to be rewarded in any way for my attraction and that it will never be normalized. And actually, no. When someone asks me who I'm attracted to, my telling them "I'm gray-ace!" says nothing. When I say "I'm sapphic!" it does. Gray-ace says how I experience attraction, whereas sapphic says who my attraction is toward.
  10. -Personally, I think that asexuality and aromanticism are modifiers unless you're 100% aroace. Gray-ace says nothing about who I'm attracted to. Sapphic does. That's why it's my orientation. -Amatonormativity doesn't exist and neither does allonormativity, so there is no difference :) I'm not rewarded for feeling attraction when the attraction I do feel is toward other women. I will never be rewarded for having sex (if I decide to) when: I face stereotypes about mentally ill women, especially hypersexual women, being wild in bed As an autistic woman, there's a 1 in 2 chance I will be raped in my lifetime (as opposed to 1 in 6 for the general population of women) If I'm having sex with a woman, I face homophobia and sapphobia I face sexual fetishization as a nonbinary person I face misogynistic slut shaming and body shaming As a hypersexual person, I face ableism because of my mind's fixation on sex Anyway, I'm kind of repulsed by sex and kind of just don't care, even though I get turned on by damn near everything, have sexual fantasies, feel some sexual attraction, and get intrusive sexual thoughts. And romantically, I like women.
  11. It sounds like you could just go with woman-aligned nonbinary.
  12. But it's still going to matter. I'm not going to risk an LGBT person being denied resources they need. And besides, I already said that non LGBT aces and aros could use feminist resources. They might even benefit from them more than they would LGBT stuff. Also, I don't think your relatives care if you have sexual attraction or not. The only reason I would ever care about that, if one of my relatives told me they were ace, is if I had a kid and needed to know if they were sexually active so I could make sure they wouldn't get STDs or an unwanted pregnancy. And, from experience, as a sapphic ace with an aroace cousin in a conservative family, my conservative relatives didn't care that either of us was ace. They did care that I liked girls, and that she didn't.
  13. I don't think we should use the split attraction model for any kind of attraction besides romantic and sexual, because, for example, throwback to when I was a questioning, scared sixteen year old who was just realizing they were LGBT. If you had told me that my desires to kiss girls, to hug them, to cuddle them and hold their hands and be close to them were the result of platonic and sensual attraction, if you had told me that when I found girls so beautiful that they took my breath away it was aesthetic attraction, I would have still been convinced I was straight. I could have ended up in a relationship with some greasy straight boy that I was repulsed by and thought that when he made my stomach churn, that's what attraction was supposed to feel like. And if I hadn't discovered I was gay, I wouldn't have accepted that I was gnc or even known I was nonbinary. Meaning that I would have still been forcing myself to be feminine and struggling with dysphoria and I would never have come out or begun my transition. Promoting the split attraction model so uncritically, especially around minors and questioning people and people struggling with compulsory heterosexuality, is homophobic and transphobic.
  14. No, all trans women are females and have female genitals. Bye. Please don't call non-ace people sexuals.
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