Sissi

From Brazil, Feliz Natal!

Hi! so, I am so sorry if this is already a discussion in this forum, but I just wanted to know what are your views on the thing society calls true love, or true love stories. Or even the concept of it. for me, personally, I never believed in those, even before identifying as aromantic, but now it makes even less sense! thank you! toodles!

I can really just think of Despair by leo. currently my fav song the part that I find relatable is basically the whole song but here are some parts of the lyrics: " Well, I don't know if this is itBut can't you seeNo, I'm not falling for you [...] Cause it's not romantic, I swearI'm not gasping for air [...] And even though I think about you day and night I'm not sure if this whole love thing Sounds quite right " also also, This is home by Cavetown the only part that I find it relatable as an a-spec person is the beginning "Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess this avoids the stress of falling out of it" (the creator is aro too and lots of the songs he made is about friends or at least they are very easy to interpret that way)

"The Thing About Harry" is a movie I definitely enjoyed a lot when I watched it for the first two times, but now as I write these words it doesn't look as enjoyable as I thought.

gray book

If I were to describe it, I would say: for the first and a half year, nothing could have possibly come any closer than most of what Sam Spade said: but for the next one and a quarter years (still living high school, sadly), Covid happened so our classes went online. So it was a dead relationship, between me and the rest of the students from this year. I started to only talk to those who I considered my friends and the rest was forgotten. So nothing about looking at the others having relationships or anything like that. But strangely enough, it was during the online classes period of time that I figured out that I am aro, and that created a questions monster with my face! I seriously went from thinking I was mature and wise to just really questioning everything alos do and asking my closest friends those questions. Nothing like the high school experience you guys were describing.

Hello! and welcome to this forum! Yes! sorry, anyways, I had the same experience and just got a bit excited there because there are a lot of people in the world and sometimes it can be a bit hard to find someone that went through similar stuff. Apologies about that and I'm sure you will find that there are a lot of cool people out here to befriend Once again, Welcome!

Heyo! Can someone please give me an example of situation that would've made someone think they weren't like other people in the romantic aspect? I'm not sure this is understandable but I hope it is. Thanks!

What about cactus? Or cacti Somehow I've seen it be associated with the aro world and I really like the idea!

Is it weird that my favorite food is just plain white rice? and for sweets... Brigadeiro de paçoca, i think or maybe a nuts cake with doce de leite. or anything that does not involve chocolate and has strawberries.

Yes! I have been asking myself the same question. I dunno. people sometimes can be weird. because like, how could they not? but then again, aros are asked the same question of how could they not feel romantic attraction. So the only thing I can think of is that people keep wishing they had a soulmate, date, that stuff, and so they somehow don't- people are complicated. Dont you wish sometimes that things, specially people, would be simpler? but thanks, I needed to hear (or read) just that. And oh, sorry about the delay, kind of got caught up in a tsunami of things to do and papers to hand in. oh well Have a great day! (or night too, actually) Thanks, once again

I've just gotten my heart broken. It shattered in so many pieces. Thousands of them. It hurts. It really does. You know those scenes in movies where the protagonist loved one person, but got their heart so broken by a simple non-existent reciprocation of their feelings? Yeah, that one that makes no sense just why would a person cry and make such a huge fuss about the end of a not even real romantic relationship. That one that always bugged me as to how and why, because that just all felt so fake and weird. It happened. Not the romantic bit, as I am aro. But that shattered character feeling a mix of extreme anger and a helplessness so strong, that you beg and beg for the other person to come back, to feel the same as you do. Logically, you can't force someone feel things they aren't capable of. But it hurts. It hurts again and again and there's nothing I can do besides beg to any listening angel that my wish would be heard and answered. Alas, miracles don't happen here. But the thing is, my heart wasn't broken by a girlfriend or even a person I wanted to date. My heart was broken by the closest and most important person in my life, my best friend. They said I feel too much. They said they didn't- they couldn't- feel the same way as me. And it hurts, you know? To be told you overwhelm the very same person you want to just glue yourself to. It hurts so much more than any romantic movie could ever show. You're told you are too much, too intense. They ask for you to back off, but that just breaks you even more. You want to respect them, to respect their wishes and desires. That is what you want the most. But what about you? What about your need to be by their side? What about your own love? They cant disappear from one minute to another. They cant just vanish and leave you as you please. So you're thorn between hurting yourself and hurting them. All that does not stop the voices from your head to take control of you, of your actions. They scream to get out, to be put in paper, in art. So much so that one day you become an cage made out of flesh and bones containing and explosion just about to burst, but you can't allow them get out. You couldn't possibly burden someone else with those ugly thoughts and feelings. And even if you know that your happiness can't depend on other people, you let it become more and more dependent, living with the hope that this will last forever. It wont. And you will break even more, because you don't know what to do. It is not like you can go out there and have an one night stand or some hook-up section with some random person or even try to find another date for that even you have to attend. You don't know what to do because you never once was taught that you could have your life broken by your own best friend. So why aren't there more people talking about just how important a friendship is, just how precious your heart becomes when you enter one, just how fragile everything is when you are deep in one. So sorry if this was the wrong place to post this. It is just that now I am completely alone and making new friends is something really difficult and rare to happen with me well, alone as you can be within this place. I hope you have a good day! (Or night too!) Toodles!

I hadnt even noticed it until someone pointed it out for me but YMBAI when you thought about the future as a 14 year old you planned your career as the central piece of it and when you thought about the romance bit you just: My brain is what makes love happens. Brain is not fully developed until 21 more or less. So, dating is going to wait until after that. And you were super happy and in peace with that future Also, YMBAI if when you thought about relationships, you thought: "I am going to start dating. Get my heart broken some times. Date some more. Find someone to marry and then divorce them later on."

Okay! Does anybody ever just keeps going back and forth between being proud of being aro and just thinking: "It can't be! I must feel romantic attraction... You just think you are because you are yet to date anybody"? Because it is so...tiring, I guess Some days I wake up and I am like: BEING ARO ROCKS AND I AM GOING TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE JOURNEY WITH MY FRIENDS AND JOB AND THE CHILD I WILL ADOPT!" But like, for most of the days I am just like: I will be their second choice all my life... What if we fall apart and what then? Wouldn't you be alone? Why dot you just date and forget this nonsense of being aro. You are just using that label because you find it cool and it is the only place romance is not being puked on you. You are not aro. You are just too much inexperienced and overthinking. ... It doesn't go away, does it? This of trying to convince yourself that you couldn't be, that you are just lying to yourself and not being who you really are. This of waking up proud and happy of being aro but minutes later being dragged into a depressing and endless questioning and saying you're not , you're not, you're not. You. Are. Not. You are just a freak, a broken toy. Someone who is going to live a sad life, overworking and being alone, without even a cat by your side. AND IT IS SO IRRITATING! turning the Tv on, or anything really on the internet and everything is like: ROMANCE! COUPLES! SHIPPING! HAPPILY EVER AFTER AND YOU NEED IT LIKE YOUR LIKE DEPENDS ON IT. YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IS TO FIND THE ONE AND MARRY THEM, HAVE CHILDREN AND DIE TOGETHER! But all I can get from that is: HERE;S SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER GET TO EXPERIENCE! LOOK, YOU FREAK, JUST HOW HAPPY YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE. LOOK JUST HOW BROKEN YOU ARE. BUT MAYBE, IF YOU FIND THE ONE YOU WILL BE FIXED. YOU JUST NEED TO WAIT FOR THEM AND THEN YOU WONT BE BROKEN ANYMORE. EVERYTHING WILL JUST GO AWAY, ALL THE QUESTIONING, ALL THE SELF HATE, EVERTHING. JUST WAIT FROM THEM. And you see, I am fully aware that it is madness, the THE ONE thing. I am. But it is hard to not believe in a future, in a possibility, where I wouldnt be like this. In a future where I could just be like everyone else, at least in this point. Who wouldn't hang on that fine tread of hope even if you knew it was going- I guess it is human, isnt it? To be like this. And me so wishes I could just- *grabs internalized amatonormativity by its neck* - LISTEN HERE, YOU MAD BRAINWASH! I AM SO TIRED OF YOU, SO TIRED OF YOUR SCREAMS SAYING THAT I MUST FIND THE ONE AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. JUST STOP! DO YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT? I WOULD APPRICIATE SO MUCH. *internalized amatonormativity tries to shake its head in defiance and disagreement* - OH NO. OH HELL NO! YOU ARE AGREEING WITH ME AND EVERYTHING I AM TELLING YOU. YOU ARE TOXIC AND JUST A HAPPINESS GRIM RIPPER. YOU JSUT DESTROYS MY PEACE AND HAPPINESS AND DOESNT EVEN LET ME TRY TO CONVINCE YOU OTHERWISE. I AM SO DONE WITH YOU. I HAVE COME TO LEARN THAT YOU DO NOT, ABSOLUTELY DO NOT TOLERATE TOXIC PEOPLE, TOXIC BEHAVIORS AND JUST ANYTHING THAT SO BRUTALLY DESTROYS YOUR HAPPINESS AND MENTAL HEALTH. *internalized amatonormativity blinks* - NOW. IF YOU UNDERSTAND HOOW THINGS WORK, BECAUSE I AM THE MASTER OF MY OWN LIFE, YOU WILL REPEAT MY WORDS AND YOU WILL STICK TO THEM. GOT IT? *internalized amatonormativity tries to nod* - I, INTERNALIZED AMATONORMATIVITY, - i, internalized amatonormativity, -PROMISE ON THE COST OF MY OWN LIFE -promise on the cost of my own life -THAT I WONT EVER EVER AGAIN -that i wont ever ever again -PRODUCE ANOTHER WORD, JUDGMENT OR LOOK -produce another word, judgment or look -TO AND ABOUT THE PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME -to and about the person right in front of me -I WILL NOW LIVE THE REST OF MY DAYS IN SILENCE -i will now live the rest of my days in silence -AND WITH THAT I WILL WITHER AND DIE -and with that i will wither and die -WITHOUT EVER COMING BACK TO LIFE AGAIN -without ever coming back to life again *looks deeps in the eyes* -NOW, YOU DONT HAVE ANY RIGHTS TO CALL ME A MONSTER, TO SAY TO ME THAT I WONT EVER BE HAPPY. YOU DONT GET ANY RIGHTS TO DO THAT. YOU PROMISED. DONT BE MISTAKEN, JUST BECAUSE ONLY LAST MONTH I REALIZED YOU WERE HERE, DOESNT MEAN THAT I WONT USE EVERY LAST DROP OF MY EVERYTHING, OF MY WHOLE BEING TO KILL YOU AND MAKE YOU SHUT UP FOREVER. I HAVE A WHOLE COMUNITY ONLINE TO BACK ME UP AND I KNOW THEY WILL HELP ME MAKE YOU HONOUR THOSE SAME WORDS ON THE HARD WAY. ARE WE UNDERSTOOD? *internalized amatonormativity nods several times* -GOOD! I WILL BE WATCHING YOU. DONT YOU EVEN DARE TO DEFY THE WORDS YOU SAID SAID. *walks out without ever breaking eye contact* If you got here, thanks for reading my post. Really needed to get that out of my chest. I hope you have a great night (or day too) Toodles!

Dear Community, I need help! Would someone kindly share where are the loveless aros? or any content related to that topic, pwease Love, A questioning and confused human being

Wow! Two brazilian citizens who do not live here. That's something I never thought I would come across, but then again, the world out there is a mystery. ANd! Agreed! Because like, at that point last night I was thinking that Brazilian Aces and Aros were one of the rarest human beings out there. But I am really glad that's not the case! And you're welcome! Thank you, amazing human being with a really cool profile name, for replying to my post. No! I hadn't! THANK YOU, wonderful person that goes by the beautiful name of Erederyn. Thanks for indicating them. (Feeling like I have never said this many thank yous in one text before) Toodles! Have a great day! (Or night too!)

Hey there! I really don't know what to say here besides this: I am just so glad to not be the only one in this world Because, seriously, with everything, I'm kind of feeling like society is trying to drown me in the romance-is-the-only-true-goal-for-happiness brainwash. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It is exhausting, really. And trying to look for cannon aro/ace characters??? Even more exhaustive! So, here I am! Trying to breathe in a place where people won't keep insisting that I can't really be happy if I am not in a romantic relationship. And oh! MAYbe find some Brazilians here? That would be all for this post. Hope you have a lovely day (or night too)! Toodles!