Nessa

I travel mostly on my own but sometimes I go to visit people I know abroad, or with an agency in a tour depending of the safety of the country. On place I travel with public transportation. I think that traveling with an activity is great too. For example volunteering, working, studying. I actually plan to travel to China to study chinese in a school.

- I don't have squishes but sometimes aesthetical attraction - I don't mind romance in movies, books, series, music,... - I am a Backstreet Boys' fan for 29 years they only sing love songs and I think that one of them AJ would be the one for me if I wasn't aromantic - I don't mind spending time with couples (as long as they don't spend their time kissing, flirting, ... I just think this is so irrespectful to do that when you are with one other person who has nobody else to talk to when you do that and why do you want to see your friend if you spend your time flirting and kissing what's the point) - I am very happy to be aromantic, I just love being alone and that the only moment I feel well - I watch chinese dramas which are mostly about love - Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me because I am 40 yo and never been asked for a date, nobody has never been interested in me Well that's all I have in mind right now and not even sure this fit the topic sorry if it doesn't

Well I have had a hard childhood but I am sure that I was born aromantic.

Thank you so much!! :-D Well I prefer being alone that with this kind of people again. Yes it is really hard I am working about it with a specialist and it helps a lot it is good to talk about it with someone she is really openminded and nice. And this forum really helps too I feel less alone and it is great to see I am not the only one.

Thank you. Yes being aro is not easy and I don't think it change with the age. Well I've tried to learn German but never been able to talk I remember a few words. I wish I could speak it one day. I will check it I didn't think about it. Thank you! Actually my friends from high school were the ones not accepting me and they hurt me a lot. I am trying to become an actress so I take acting class, try to find projects in which acting and I already did some extras in movies and tv shows. I meet a lot of people but didn't really got closed to many of them. I talk with 2 of this people sometimes.

I am talking with 2 people that I met on this forum on Instagram sometimes but not really close to any of them. I have 2 people in my life whom I can maybe called friends but not always sure that they really accept me. One is a girl I met at a concert a long time ago we kept in touch and we talk a lot but sometimes it more like she talks to me because she has nobody else to talk to. The other one is a guy I work with in some short movies in which I act he is the director. We talk a lot but I don't know if we can say that we are close friends I think he is the one who accept me the most he is really open as his sister is genderfluid and polyamorous. But well who knows maybe I will find some new friends in the future. My profile picture is the aro flag with and ace flag in the shape of an ace. I found it on internet I am from France but I havn't find any aro meet-up for the moment aromanticism is really totally unknown here.

Same here no desire for the "society requirements" as I call it but I never thought I would be at 40 yo without friends because people don't accept who I am. Fortunately for me I am a very lonely person but having good friends, knowing long last friendship is something I would have wanted. :-D It took me a while to find out about aromanticism and now I accept myself the way I am and hope that someday people will like me as I am (platonically of course, as a friend) even if in my country people don't know what aromanticism is for the moment. When I say that I am aromantic they just think that I am not a romantic person like the romantic things couples do so it will take time I guess

Well I am a Backstreet boys' fan who only sing love songs and I don't feel anything they talk about

I always knew it except that I didn't know there was a word for it. For as long as I remember I've never been interested by being in a relationship or by sex. I have had a hard childhood and have been rejected a lot by a lot of people my entire life but somewhere inside me I knew that it has nothing to do with it. I've always been happy this way and always thought of the future as me being single not even once was I able to picture myself in a relationship and I have never been in a relationship!! I have the chance to be that girl that nobody wanted to date back at school time and it didn't change after and I feel really lucky about that because I didn't have to force myself into something I didn't want. I've just lived my life on my own; living experiences, travelling, making things for me, the way I wanted and what I wanted without wondering why I still didn't want a relationship I found out about the word aromanticism last year only (and I am 40 yo), the first time I read about it I just knew that it was me, the description was just fitting me so well. Then I found this forum and some aspecs people on instagram and I could relate so much to what they were saying. And same for asxuality even if I knew this word before I think I didn't have the need to identify as asexual at this time as it really has no importance for me. But now I am proud to say that I am aroace :-D

Just did the test and I am ISFP

reading, acting, watching tv, walking, listening music, meditation, learning other languages ...I love and I am interested in so many things and I always find new ones just love learning new things

I am definitely a solo traveler too but I don't mind going with a friend when I have the opportunity. The good thing when you travel is that you do exactly what you want, with no plans for the visit, don't have to do things you don't want to like shopping I really don't like shopping... Do with your budget and not have to spend more because she/he wants to go somewhere too expensive for you.... I don't drive so I very dependant of public transport and unfortunately I can't always go every where I would like to. I really have to get my driving license. There is so many places in this world that I want to see and I don't mind doing it alone 😁

Hello! I actually won't be able to tell you what romantic attraction is as I don't feel it either. But Having sexual attraction is different from having romantic feelings you may want to have sex with someone but not wanting more than sex. You can read the topics on this forum maybe it will help you find out if you are aro or not but be sure that nobody else than you can really know. I don't know your age but sometimes it takes time to find who you really are. I am 39 soon 40 and I found about aromanticism a bit more than a year ago. Reading about it, the testimonies of people here or in instagram really helped me to figure out that I am aro and always were. I have never been in a relationship in my entire life, never been in love, never been interested in having a relationship. As far as I remember I always wanted to be alone and never imagined myself with anyone. I just know that I am aesthatically attracted to men and not women. Just listen to yourself and don't let people put pressure on you. You can have the life you want to have, nobody has the right to say anything about it if you really are aro there is nothing wrong with you, you can be really happy as well. Don't hesitate to hask more question if you need

I did exactly the same thing!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Your welcome that's why the forum is here !!

It is hard to answer as only you can know how you really feel. Maybe if you feel so unconfortable being asked out you shouldn't pushed it and just say no, maybe you are just not interested by the person who asked you out especially if they are toxic as you said, it could a defensive system inside you warning you that this is not a person for you, like an alarm. It takes time to be sure sometimes, be patient and don't force yourself into something that makes you incomfortable with toxic people, wait to find someone better and see how you will feel. Being aro doesn't mean that you won't have a relationship and get married it will just be different from the usual romantic relationship but you can have qpr and be happy this way. Give you the time to know yourself better and do the right choices!

Well I am pretty sure that I was born aro as I have never been interested in having a relationship and never been able to picture myself with someone for as long as I remember. I never understood why people wanted to be in relationship. I've never been attracted to anyone in that way, I do have sometimes aethetic attraction though. I have never had any trauma relating to relationship as I never had one, my parents didn't love each other but I had other examples of people who really did, I am not neurodivergent or whatever so it doesn't come from that either. I grew up with TV shows that make love life a priority, the thing that make people happy and whatever and when I think about it now I don't really understand why it didn't make me want that to but well I guess that this is just who I am and nothing more. Maybe some people become aro because of events, traumas they went through while growing up this is possible too and there is nothing wrong with that either but maybe it was already a bit inside of them and those events made them realise it I don't know and don't pretend to know more than anyone else. I am just giving hypothesis, ideas, thoughts however you want to call it. I am actually not sure that people are not confusing aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction sometimes and for some people they might be in a relationship because they are scared of being alone (I actually met a few in this case) or they just have to because the society wants us to be in a relationship. I am absolutely sure to be aroace in my case, thought of being greysexual maybe, I am still questioning about that but I am sure to be in that spectrum and as @nonmerci said that's why it is great to see aromanticism and asexuality as a spectrum because we are all different and may not be absolutely sure of our orientation and realise later that we are more htis than that at some point in our life and this is fine. And about the chocolate argument well then I would like this person to explain to me why I don't like coffee (and don't even like the smell which makes me sick) living in a country (France) where people drink coffee all the time. I can't even eat dessert with coffee like Tiramisu but everybody loves it ... I just think that we are all different and that's all. So I disagree with this argument too!

You could post on the home page or else where a link where people could donate without any minimum like even 1$. If any member would give whatever he/she/they can it could help. There would be no obligation and for people who don't have credit card maybe PayPal or some other service.... It is just an idea ??‍♀️but this forum is really helpful for us and I am sure some people would be happy to help even just a bit if they can't afford more . I know that for me Instagram and Arocalypse are really brings me a lot as I don't know any other aro or ace people in real life. It helps me a lot to have people like me here.

I don't think there is the one, this is ridiculous to me especially as I see the rate of divorce nowadays. Does this means that all people who divorced got wrong thinking that the person who they were married to was the one?? Because that makes a lot of people!!!! and a lot of them get married a second time or just are in a serious relationship after that. so what? they have 2 "the one" ? The one is not supposed to be the one you spend the rest of your life with???? I don't think soulmate is related to romance, a friend, a parent can be your soulmate, it can be platonic love too between 2 soulmates. Did you never met someone and thought how weird it is that you have so much in common or feel confortable with them even if you barely know them?O someone you don't see very often but when you do it is like you saw her the day before but it was 2 years ago instaed. That would be a soulmate to me, even if they don't stay our entire life by our side but just a while. I think we can even have several soulmates of this kind. People who come into our lives to help us, be there for us when we need them, who help us growing as a person, teach us something we have to learn to keep going on the path of our lives,... Well that how I see things anyway I know a lot of people won't agree with me but I don't mind, we are all free to have our own beliefs ?

I always thought I was straight but as I had never been interested in having a relationship, never fell in love or whatever, I just thought that I was a lonely person who wanted to be on her own. My aesthetical attraction for male made me think that I had crushes (or squishes not really sure actually). Then last year I heard about aromanticism and read a bit about it and then I knew that I was aro all that long but just didn't know it as I never heard of it before and now I identify as aro. I never questioned either my sexual attraction I never really had one but I have libido even if only occasionnaly so I am actually aroace.

I used to confuse aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction too but I had never heard about aromanticism at this time. I actually enjoy looking at a gorgeous man it is a very nice moment, a nice way to spend time when walking in the streets, or even when you watched a bad or a boring movie but the actor is cute so you just keep watching it to watch him ? Am I the only one to do that????

I am 39 yo soon 40 yo and I think amatonormativity is actually very hard on me and other women especially around my age because people expect us to be in a relationship. We are women so we have to want to settle down with a man/woman in a serious relationship and they just don't or can't accept that this is something that we don't want or not interested in like it. I have even met people thinking that a woman couldn't be happy if she wasn't in a relationship. For them it was the aim of life : being in a relationship, it is maybe some law of nature or whatever, we exist to be in a relationship, we can't live any other way, it is like this for centuries and it just can't be any other way... There is really a big pressure of society on us about that. And same for sex : everybody should be interested in sex, want to have sex all the time and love it. It is really annoying. I am aroace but with libido so sometimes I do have sex but like once a year or even less sometimes I don't have sex for several years. I don't like it and don't even feel anything when I do it I wish that I didn't heave any libido at all. I have the chance to not have been in the situation of men (or boys when I was younger) wanting to date me, this is something that never happened to me, I don't know how I would react to that and how the other aro women do. Men aren't really looking at me and it is such a relief and I know how lucky I am. My family used to put pressure on me too (except my mum actually she has always been ok with me not wanting to be in a relationship) but now they have stopped. They finally understood that my life was full as it is and that I don't need anything else and that my career is the most important.

I am vegan at home but vegetarian outside it's still not easy to find vegan food in France and when there is it's really expensive!

Oh yes it is!! I am still very angry at them after all this time.

Sometimes it just takes time to figure out who we really are and we are all so different from each other even people in the arospectrum. Maybe just takes time to figure out how you feel in different romantic situations, if you feel comfortable with men, with the idea of dating, how do you feel during a date? When you know that you have a date? Analyze how you feel before going to the date? Or you can simply live your life, do whatever you love doing, enjoying yourself, making your life what you wanna it to be in the other part of it and everyting will just come clear on its own someday. You are the only one who can know who you really are but don't stop enjoying your life because you are still trying to understand it.