Finch

I think I could speak to the experience of feeling a link between one's gender and orientation. I am afab, and still identify as female to an extent, despite feeling some disconnection from it. Being aro may be part of it, though recently, I have also realized I experience some sexual attraction to women. My relationship with gender, and the desire to appear more butchy made more sense when I discovered this part of myself. This could be because women are often portrayed as objects of men's desire, and being in any romantic or sexual relationship with a man was something that had always made me extremely uncomfortable. I felt so relieved when I came to terms with my homosexuality, like everything was coming together. I have also found that my capacity to feel attraction varies from day to day and influences my relationship with gender as well. On days where I don't feel much attraction to anyone, I feel more agendered, but on days where I feel sexual attraction to women, I feel more female. There are many days where I prefer not to be seen as a woman, but some androgynous being. It wouldn't be accurate for me to say that I experience gender dysphoria, but I've had some upsetting dreams about my hair growing back long.

Haha, ain't that a mood :D I sometimes feel bad because it's difficult for me to understand my friend's relationships too. I try to be there for them and listen to their struggles, and that's usually just what they need. When it comes to understanding romance though, I actually had to consciously study things like "signs that people like someone" or "why breakups are terrible" and "romantic subtext" and the like because I basically don't have a personal frame of reference when it comes to feeling romantic attraction or being in a relationship. Being aegoromantic helps to sympathize with romantic feelings, but it's still no a substitute for actually being in love with a real person.