So, I'm currently in a relationship right now. I started dated him on February 23rd of 2021 and I was the one who asked him out. I think I confused platonic feelings with romantic ones and now...whenever we go on dates, it's great and fun and everything and I like him as a person, but I feel nothing. I'm comfortable around him because he is a good person but I harbor no romantic feelings for him. I thought I did so I'm confused. I feel extremely bad about this because I asked him out and I don't want to be in the relationship anymore, but we are in the same friend group and it would just ruin things. I act like everything is okay and I really like this relationship but I don't. My family and friends ask about our relationship but I genuinely feel like we're just friends. Am I a bad person?
I've been in a past relationship before and the feeling was very different than the one I am in now. Whenever we hung out, I would feel on edge and extremely uncomfortable. He was my best friend and we've talked about sexual topics before but I think I confused my platonic feelings for him with romantic ones. We dated for about a month and during that time, I really wanted to break up with him as bad as it sounds. He was the one to actually break up with me...and I didn't feel anything. I cried but it was out of relief and confusion as to why I felt this way.
Another reason as to why I'm confused is because I've always wanted to fall in love, and here I am tearing up at the thought that I don't really feel that way about anyone. But at the same time, the thought of being in a relationship in the future...I feel no desire for it. Not only that but I love romance novels, movies, and tv shows, and I thought I wanted what they had. I think I was just falling in love with books about love because I couldn't have that in real life. I don't know what I am. I feel sad/disappointed at the fact I'm not able to; I'm just so confused.
I've had crushes before, but was I just confusing platonic or sexual feelings with romantic ones? I don't know what to do and I'm scared of hurting my boyfriend's feelings and ruining things between us or making things awkward in our friend group. I'm really scared because I've never told anyone this and I don't think I ever can...could I get some advice? I don't know what to do.
Also I'm not sure if this will post anonymously but oh well.