IdentityCrisis

In quite a few instances, here in the US anyway, I have heard of adoption agencies being more reluctant to letting single "parents" adopt. A lot of the reasoning behind it is quite possible due to the large amounts of amatonormativity. There's a lot of pressure to get married before having kids and a strong belief that a family isn't "complete" without both a father and a mother. heteronormativity plays a large role in this as well. And we can't forget the extreme lack of representation and awareness of the Aro community. I personally want to adopt at least 1 kid but I know it'll be extremely difficult without a spouse and even if I were to get married the obstacles wouldn't stop because heterosexual couples are more likely to be allowed to adopt than homosexual couples and if I were to choose to get married it would be with another guy such as myself and likely only for the added benefit of making the adoption process and/or any financial payments easier. Sadly single parents aren't given much credit and if two people aren't married when they adopt then the road to having a child of any age becomes significantly more difficult.

Every time I play DND I forget romance is even an option and like... some of my friends that roleplay in other DND groups talk about their characters falling in love and I'm like, "is that a thing? That happens?" XD anyway I should've know I was aromantic a LONG time ago. I only recently came out to myself even but it makes me feel SO much better about why dating people always seems so disappointing for me when I try it. I also feel more comfortable with aro people as well cuz they're just more relatable than alloromantics. again... BIG flashing signs and I didn't pay attention till I turned 18. I know that's young but it's 2021 let's be honest anyone aver 16 feels 10 years older by now XD

Hi so I'm a trans guy and frankly, knowing that you are acknowledging some possibly internalized transphobia is a big step in the right direction for the subject. It's very easy to see trans guys differently than cis guys because of how trans people in general are portrayed in the media and growing up in a blatantly transphobic society doesn't help either. However, it's obvious that you want to consciously battle this way of thinking. While it is impossible to choose who you are attracted to and in what way you are attracted to them, there are many internal and external factors that go into it. This is also why first impressions are always such a big deal. Everything about a person from the way they look down to the way they walk can affect the way you feel about them. The nature vs nurture argument is important to note here. In reality, nature and nurture both affect the way we perceive the world and I would say that they way you perceive trans guys is from the nurture side of things and growing up in such a transphobic society. Things that are learned can be unlearned so, maybe in the future, as you hopefully move towards unlearning the perceptions you have of trans men, the way in which you are attracted to them could change to. Remember, nothing is set in stone. the way you are attracted to people now could change in 5 years or 15 but as people grow and change so do their preferences. It's ok to just be you as long as you don't actively hurt another person. this is an obvious and conscious effort on your part to not hurt others and that is enough for right now. I hope you enjoy the wonderful path you are leading and make many new discoveries along the way!