Brian requires help

Hello! Welcome fellow fan of dnd, dragons, and bread!!

Hi, aroace individual here. Kind of a vent/thought jumble wondering how other people find it etc. But basically I kind of have an issue with how most people view friendship. As an aroace person I've always held my friends in like the highest regard, I love them so much and they mean so much to me. But friendship is always viewed as lesser than romantic relationships. Friends aren't generally considered so much of a priority. There's much less commitment. And I get that I guess. But because I value friendships so highly, I find it really hard sometimes knowing that I'll never be a priority to them, that they don't really owe me anything. I can be kind of bad at reading boundaries so I tend to err on the side of caution. Because it's not typical to discuss your relationship with a friend I sometimes struggle with where those boundaries are. It's easy to feel like I don't really have any truly strong tethers. I love my friends and they love me, but they could just bounce and there's be nothing considered wrong with that. It's kind of terrifying, like there's no stability in your life. I guess maybe I'd like a queer platonic relationship. I would like to have somebody that I know I could depend on, that there would be an honest and open line of communication. I just feel like I won't ever find anyone who feels the same sort of way, like they want the same very specific things out of a relationship and that they aren't going to find somebody else who they care more about. I don't know, I guess it just makes me feel kind of lonely, knowing that the people I love don't value my love as highly? Anyone feel the same sort of way? Or like found a partner despite it being more difficult because of romantic orientation or anything or whatever? I don't know xx