SleepyOctopus

Hi ? I have come to terms with myself that Im probably aro. I love the concept of romance and loooove reading fanfics, but when it comes to writing one myself my head freezes most of the time bc i cant put myself in place of the characters. (I can write for platonic relationships with no problem!) I get jealous of my friends w SOs and am very curious about being in relationship but i also...dont want to lol. Thinking about being in relationship makes me tired very fast and i never rly had an uncontrollable urge to be in one with anyone specific anyways.. Being aro makes me anxious not just bc I prob cant be romantically attracted to anyone even tho id love someone by my side, but also i dont want ppl to crush on me when I know I wouldnt. I hate the thought of having to reject them and hurt them. I want to avoid my friendliness mistakenly being perceived as me romancing on them. (I think my cultural background makes me show affections to ppl i platonically love like others would do to their crushes/SOs..) This anxiety ends up making me avoid people and act unfriendly to them so I dont have to deal with those possible situations. I try to tell myself psh, ppl dont get romanced that easily, u r not a top star!! But it doesnt rly help cuz idk, some ppl seem to get romanced easily by non-top-star ppl and my high anxiety absolutely wants to avoid any possibilities ? Anywayssss that got longer than expected but Im glad to have found this place and myself as aro! Not exactly looking for a solution to my problem but if anyone feels same with me id love to hear your story too :,)<3 Nice to meet you all!