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vvv

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Everything posted by vvv

  1. I'm pretty new to explicitly identifying as arospec, so I don't feel like I could say I feel erased, but I definitely notice that I see aroace more represented than aroallo. I'm pan/bisexual and have identified as such for over half of my life, so I'm kind of used to that in a way. I think things are better from when I was a teen, but bi-erasure is still common and controversial. I imagine asexual erasure is more rampant, though.
  2. Something I learned about myself from bingeing the Crown is that I can no longer watch a biopic or film/show based on real life without googling "did ___ really happen" in the middle of the show or film. I just watched the United States vs. Billie Holiday. (spoilers for the film) I love Billie Holiday, loved Andra Day's performance as Lady Day so much. They included her marriages and some relationships (only the straight ones explicitly, for "some reason") that were portrayed as awful and abusive. Throughout about the latter half of the film, she is depicted as having a very "refreshing" and "healthy" relationship with a man... A man who, in real life and in the film, was an FBI agent that played a significant role in having her incarcerated for a year for drug possession by getting close to her and finding out when the feds could catch her doing heroin. Then, in the movie, after this, they fall in love. Have a relationship, the movie would tell you, until the moment she dies. Even though she was married to another (toxic and abusive) man in the interim who also tried to set her up, she still maintains a "pure" relationship with the FBI agent. He goes on tour with her. Billie's friends are first suspicious of him because he got her incarcerated by building a relationship under false pretenses, but eventually they all do heroin together and suddenly he is bound to be the best man in the world who will (try to, at least) carry her the rest of the movie when she's at her lowest and be there to stare disapprovingly when her lowest involves other men. Even help her stay clean (sometimes). So I looked it up during the movie. After her being incarcerated, the rest of their relationship was completely fictional. It was just too damn cheesy, I had to know. It sucks so much, because without him, it would've just been about her and her own complicated relationships and her art... I think they were trying to make him an audience proxy, but, it felt like he was supposed to her savior even though it changed nothing about her life. And, I'm not even asexual, but knowing that it was basically a fanfic insert, the sex scene that came out of that depiction felt pretty damn gross after knowing that. Ehggdsdf.
  3. vvv

    Aro POCs

    hard same!!!! My brother got the looser textured hair, though. We traded hair and skin aahahaha. Seriously though, same parents but when we took DNA tests, he was 50% Black and I'm 45% what the hell!
  4. I just bought Skyrim for Switch a few weeks ago... Have already racked up some 50 hours 😬 I started playing on 360 when it was released back in 2011, then bought it for PC a few years ago. Was hesitant about re-purchasing on yet another platform (thankfully I initially got it as a present), but ooooooohh boy has having it portable been well worth it!! I don't need no mods when I can play Skyrim outside!!!! I've also been going strong on Animal Crossing New Horizons for the past year. I love that so many other folks mentioned the Sims 4, I had to take it off of my computer because I was damn-near addicted to it, but I do really, truly love it. I'm also pretty addicted to starting games in Civilization VI and never finishing them. I bought the Gathering Storm DLC a few months ago and that has been sooo much fun... Gosh, I might start a game after this...
  5. My psychiatrist has been reevaluating my diagnosis of chronic depression and has said that I have a mood disorder in addition to depression but hasn't labeled me as bipolar yet. My therapist has theorized that I have cyclothymia. I've been on Lamictal since late 2017, and with somewhat recent "recreational" medication changes (quit smoking weed over 3 months ago after 7 years), I've noticed a lot more mood swings. 90% sure I'm either BP2 or cyclothymic. Either way, somewhere on the spectrum!! I relate to the feeling of different personalities. The "depressed me" is very antisocial and pessimistic and has no motivation or interest in anything. The in-between state/baseline for me is artistic, friendly, physically active, and curious about learning and reading. The "manic me" is chaotic, unfocused, "overly social" (texting 10 friends in one day to ask them how they are or shooting off random compliments)(sometimes it leads to sudden depression when I think of myself as being overbearing-- this is a pattern and I hate it!!), stays up late starting organizing projects (oddly enough, both political organizing and cleaning hahaa) or going on Wikipedia rabbit holes. For me the intensity has ebbed with better medication regularity and reducing other substances (I used to drink very heavily in my early 20s and up until recently was a heavy weed smoker), but that almost makes the sober mood swings more upsetting for me, but also validating of my mental illness diagnoses, not just "lite" addictions. As an aside, my psychiatrist has told me that my mom has undiagnosed bipolar by the sounds of how I've described her. I think we probably know undiagnosed or "closet" bipolar people who just aren't open about their struggles. I know my mom was terrified when I told her I was on bipolar medication, there's still stigma for some of us...
  6. I wonder what a good day for a global friendship day would be... You know, I think there should be two, so that we can have a summertime one and a wintertime one for each hemisphere. I'm speaking from a US-perspective, but it would also be nice if they could be in months where there are less-to-no recognized federal or cultural holidays... Maybe August and January...
  7. I can relate to this. My brother and I were raised by a single mom (who only recently got re-married when I was in my 20's) with no dad. However, our maternal grandparents did a lot of the labor of raising us and providing financially, plus I was lucky to have a lot of good friends in elementary and middle school who always wanted to do sleepovers at each others' houses, so it felt like having a large family even though on paper it was just two kids and one adult. My brother and I did have a biological father who was married to our mom, but he was an addict to a lot of substances which made him very volatile and did little to raise us when he was alive, he died when I was 3 and my brother was 8, so I was very much raised with no memory of having a second parent. From what I knew about him from my brother and some stories from my mom, not gonna lie and apologies for the morbidity, but it seems like we were much better off without him. I think that experience and knowledge has influenced my thoughts on childrearing. Not set on having children, but I love the idea of raising children and helping them grow, learn, and hopefully become positive influences in the lives of others. And if I did, I wouldn't want to have a married partner. Maybe a co-parent, but it would have to be some extraordinary person, that or a very close friend or friends. My mom is so ready to be a grandmother that it drives me nuts. I even told her recently that if I ever have kids I'm not gonna get married or have the other parent in the picture. Her response? "Even better!!" Fostering seems like one of the best options for parenting. And, though it can be questionable in less-than-altruistic cases, it does have the benefit of providing financial support. As a child of a single parent... Yeah, the lack of financial support is the biggest part. I had an unstable childhood in terms of parenting from my mom (understandable as an adult, infuriating as a child), and without our grandparents, we would have definitely been homeless. Hopefully activists in (my country, the US) our country can work towards more social support for all parents, but especially single ones.
  8. Thank you (❁´◡`❁) Slowpoke is my absolute favorite Pokemon since I was a wee one. I find him way too relatable hahahah Thank you!! ╰(*°▽°*)╯
  9. Hey everyone! You can call me V, vvv, vee, whatever is easiest. I'm genderfluid and my pronouns are she/they. I have identified as bisexual for more than half of my life (I'm 27 going on 28 in a few months), but typically just call myself queer to encompass my attraction to many genders. I didn't know about aromanticism or the aro community until about six months ago, but when I learned about it I realized that it's something I've been dabbling in for a few years now. The more I think about previous romantic relationships vs. previous casual sexual relationships, I realize that I have always been very uncomfortable in romantic relationships and act like someone I don't recognize. I've never had a romantic relationship beyond 9 months. I don't even know how to flirt and usually have just gotten by in romantic relationships by being seen as conventionally attractive and feminine with masculine-perceived interests. I'm a very sex-positive person and have had plenty of "partnerships" where I had a platonic-sexual-aromantic relationship with people, but dismissed those relationships as being friends with benefits or just practice for the "real thing" whenever I found that "perfect someone." Never have, never will. I learned about relationship anarchy (RA) two years ago, but since learning about aromanticism, I've been taking more time to consider RA as a practice that can validate my identity, existing relationships, and future relationships without all of the anguish that I've been subjected myself to thus far. I identify as greyromantic, I can acknowledge that I have had and probably will have romantic attraction to people, but most of the time it's just platonic or sexual. I've only come out as aro to two friends so far, one told me they feel the same, the other told me I probably just need some time to find someone while I'm in the right mindset!! Well, 1 out of 2 positive responses isn't bad. Also, this is my first time being part of a very intentional online queer community. I've spent a lot of time on Tumblr (not much recently), but never to an extent where I'd call it my community. I am lucky to have a majority of queer friends in general, but (as an RA adherent), I can't help but believe that the more the merrier, and I don't want to turn to non-aro friends or pressure my one aro friend for the commiseration and discussion! I've been on forums in the past for niche interests, and am really looking forward to talking with y'all in an intentional way about aro and all of the stuff adjacent and beyond it. Thanks for having me!!! That was a LOT!!
  10. I kind of do that with my best friend for her birthday and vice versa. We'll each make a very visible post on social media (Instagram, nowadays) talking about how much we love the other person. Then on or around our birthdays we'll plan an event where we get or make dinner and do activities. Even this year we had picnics (thankfully we're both summer birthdays) and then went to our individual homes for Netflix watch parties. I have had a few friends in high school and elementary school where we would have friendship anniversary celebrations. The high school friend I'm thinking about was a thing that lasted until our early 20s (unfortunately we had a falling out), the elementary school friends was a couple of friends and wasn't actually an anniversary but just hanging out with the intention of celebrating our friendship like it was a holiday. That being said, while it doesn't have to be something posted all over social media, I think having friendship celebrations should be totally normal. Friendship anniversaries, if possible, are great. Sometimes we can't remember a specific anniversary, that's okay. Pick a date. Or, just have a random celebration. If you, like me, are very extra and love to make things (even small gatherings) special with decorations and food, do that! I currently consider myself greyromantic but may be aro when I consider my past romantic relationships, but I have had romantic relationships in the past and I feel like the pressure in Valentine's Day and even Christmas celebrations with a romantic partner is so intense compared to the pure joy of celebrating the love of a friend. also hey y'all first post glad to be here!
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