InvertedRainbow

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We're new, but we check back here fairly frequently. Probably should post more often.

Hmmm, this is fairly complicated (and that's ok, because life is complicated by nature). We were definitely aromantic growing up. We felt very different from our peers. We were very unaware of it at the time, though, so it went completely over our head. (Our plurality complicates matters even further). We're neurodivergent (plurality is a form of neurodivergence), so we randomly felt hyperromantic when we turned 21 (it was out of the blue, so we believe it was due to our being neurodivergent that led to it). We definitely think it was mostly in out head, though. We were in love with the concept of love (we're pretty sure anyway). Our "crushes" weren't actual crushes. We believe we could sense someone else's energy and latch on to it. It wasn't sexual/romantic. We'd like to think it was something like that, though. Back then we had no idea that there could be so many different kinds of attraction. We just felt different and that was that. Yeah we had hormones, but that was about it. We were happily aromantic. We admittedly thought we had to want a boyfriend. Looking back they were probably squishes (or something like that anyway). When we turned 21 we were romantically into women. Whether we attached that so called attraction to actual people is beyond us. As we said it was mostly in our head. It was't until years later that we were romantically into guys and other people who are nonbinary/genderqueer. It was only until very recently that we questioned whether these so called romantic feelings were authentic. The aromantic label gnawed at us for some time... something felt off. When we were about 20, we had a boyfriend. We loved hime in a way that was not romantic at all. We felt a lot of affection towards him. Yeah we remember a day when we felt loved, but it still wasn't anything beyond that. It just was. After some time (we forgot how long it took), we felt very trapped. We wanted out asap. It was just way too suffocating. We tried to break up repeatedly (much to his chagrin). He tried to convince us otherwise. It was not fun to way the least. Yeah we felt some level of emotional connection to him (maybe? Our feelings were hard to decipher at that time. Even now it confuses us a bit.). We still wanted freedom. Fortunately we got what we wanted and we broke up. So to get back to the topic, we think it's highly individual and can vary widely bases on the given person. We don't like to make absolute statements. We just wanted to share our story to reflect on that. Some people are fluid, while some may not be. Doesn't matter we're all valid no matter what.

Interesting. Different people experience attraction differently. We didn't date until we were 21.... That was interesting. It didn't last very long.

Hey, we're a plural system consisting of 2 members (not did), and we're both pretty sure that we're some form of aro/gray-ace. We were aro for the first 20 years of our life, so it feels pretty familiar. It's just confusing because before we realized that we might be aro, we were hyperromantic (since plurality is a form of neurodivergence, and being hyperromantic is linked to being neurodiverse). For now identifying as aro makes sense to us, it just feels right. So yeah, that's our story. ^ ^