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Everything posted by Saber_Wing

  1. I feel this way all the time. You're not alone. It's difficult to watch everyone else in your life have what you can't - another person in their life, guarenteed not to leave them alone. To spend life with them, and share everything. I want that - just...without the romance. Does that make sense? But, what's enough for me never will be for romantic people. Instead, I get to watch the people I love the most find someone else they're rather spend it with. It sounds really selfish when I say it like that, but it's the raw, basic truth.
  2. Like a lot of you here, I also fear ending up alone. I just get this feeling that I'll never be as important to my friends and family as I once. Time goes on, they pair off, and all of a sudden I'm irrelevant. I don't like it. It just sucks, because that deep, committed friendship is enough for me, but not for anyone else I know. I can't begrudge them their happiness; how could I? I can't help feeling second best though, like I don't measure up.
  3. For me, it's when those in a romantic relationship spend every waking moment together. It freaks me out just thinking about it. Like, don't they ever want to do their own thing? How can they stand not having a break from talking to people? You wanna know the dumbest part? It makes me feel so lonely to watch them do it, even though I want no part of it.
  4. My eyes are awful. It has gotten to the point where whenever I get an exam, the doctor asks if I've thought about lasik. Sure, if you have the thousands of dollars I don't currently have.
  5. Absolutely not. As an aromantic person myself, I know that dating someone who is romantic is a disaster. I just don't see how it could work on either side. Neither of them would be getting what they needed from each other. That being said, I do agree with what others have said -- it would be up to the two people involved. I think it's an awful idea, but hey. I always think dating anyone ever is an awful idea
  6. I can tell you I usually feel like less than 1% of the population as far as my orientation is concerned That being said, I think there are probably more people who are aro than anyone realizes. Many probably go their entire lives not knowing about it.
  7. When I explained my orientation to a friend of mine (he's my brother's best friend, known me practically all my life) he was mostly just confused, but we had an intellectual discussion about it, and while he didn't end up fully understanding how it works, when I told him literally everything about romance feels inherently wrong to me, he respected that I am who I am. Anyway, we ended up joking about it after, because at first he just thought: "Okay, wtf is aromantic? Is she a candle? Does she smell good?"
  8. My best friends and I are pretty much on the same wavelength. We know what the other is thinking in a given situation almost all the time. It's pretty cool to have people who know my thoughts before I speak them.
  9. Speaking as someone who carried on a high school relationship for damn near a year without understanding the difference between platonic and romantic relationships, I cannot stress enough that it would be best to let him down gently, and as soon as possible. He will get hurt. There's no way around it, but be honest with him. Try to explain as best you can that you are not capable of the type of love he wants from you. It's not something you can "change." Staying in a relationship under that assumption would be unfair to both of you.
  10. This right here is exactly how I feel. I relate to you so much right now! I thought we would all have this great, nonromantic life together and now that has been called into question. I almost feel betrayed. I know that's wrong of me, I admit that. I always knew there was at least a slight possibility it could happen. She's gray-romantic, so that possibility always existed. But we've all been through so much together and become so close, we refer to ourselves as family. We've talked about buying a house together. We have cats together. Now I don't know if that's even still something she wants,
  11. I'm feeling much the same. You can talk to me :). I have friends who love me, and understand that this is who I am, but they can't really... get it completely, you know? They don't understand. It's a lonely feeling, being different from literally every single person you know on the romance spectrum.
  12. My best friends and I live together, and one of them currently has a girlfriend. Although I really like the girl, and consider her a friend as well now, I find myself feeling completely alienated and alone. The closer they get to each other, the worse I feel. I understand why. I'm scared of ending up alone, no matter how selfish that is. As much as I love that they're together, and wish them every ounce of happiness they can find in each other, it makes me feel as if my relationship with my best friend isn't as important. As if now that they have this romantic relationship, they'll one day mov
  13. My parents don't seem to care about my orientation either way, which is fine with me. I've explained it to them of course, but they're probably still thinking I'll 'find someone' one day. They don't bring it up and neither do I. Suits me just fine that way. It's a little more awkward for me as far as my coworkers are concerned. I finally got the dreaded 'why don't you date?' question a few days ago, and then the inevitable, 'maybe you haven't found the right person' speech. The part that frustrates me the most is that I don't really have any other way to explain it to them any better than I al
  14. When everyone in my age group hit puberty and started noticing people, finding them attractive and wanting boyfriends/girlfriends, and I didn't. I wish I'd heeded my feelings back then and taken them at face value, because that was exactly what they meant. Instead, I eventually noticed how 'weird' I was, tried to change, stayed that way for damn near a decade, before I finally found my way again. I've always had a tendency to complicate things though in my head though, when I don't need to.
  15. I was just thinking about how society always tells you you're selfish unless you're doing something for somebody else. My sister in law's grandmother just had a heart attack and stroke, and while I've let her know I'm here for her to talk to if she needs it, she also asked me to come to a party she's doing with her for moral support (she's a pure romance consultant. I told her no. I don't want to go, this is the first day off I've had in two weeks, and my sister and I already had plans anyway.) My best friend ended up going instead. We live together. She's the type that drops everything at a m
  16. No, just the forum, don't worry
  17. 1. My first advice is actually the exact opposite of the above posting. Live not for others, but for yourself. That's not to say you shouldn't be sympathetic and kind to others, but they don't dictate how you should live your life. You do. It's very easy to lose sight of that. Don't make the mistake of being so concerned about others, you forget about yourself. If you want to do something for you and only you, that's not selfish. It's logical. It's human. And above all, living your life the way that makes you happy is the most important, at least to me. 2. That being said, be mind
  18. I guess I identify with the colors more than an actual symbol. Well, that's not entirely true. I like the bow and arrow for aromanticism, and an ace of spades is fine for asexual. If it were me, I'd probably make the shirt itself black, or maybe dark green, and then color the symbols with the remaining color motifs. I'm more of a dark colors kind of person though. Most of the shirts I've seen are all white, or gray, and I'm not really down for that, so if you designed a different one, I'd be interested in buying one
  19. For the longest time, I was called Angel in my online community because it was part of my username. I created it when I was eleven or twelve years old, and I had since changed it after a few years, but the name stuck. That's what everyone knew me as. I was a moderator on a popular forum on fanfiction.net before it died I still have a few people on my facebook from there who probably think of me more an Angel than anything else. Now I go by the current username you see here, usually Saber if anyone asks. Otherwise, I really don't have nicknames. My name is Paige, so there aren't a whole lot of
  20. I'd probably be Arcanine or something, because I'm majestic as hell, but I'll also rip your fucking face off
  21. I've been thinking about the stigma that has been put on them, and while I understand why people might think of it as a weakness to take medication for mental illness, that still just seems completely stupid to me, especially now that I have been taking them for over 6 months, and have seen how they can help transform your life. Before I broke down, swallowed my pride, and got help, I was a mess. I was controlled by my emotions and irrational anxieties to the point where I could barely function. I was trapped in a job I hated. I couldn't make phone calls or go places unfamiliar without having
  22. I didn't even realize how true this is until I watched it just now. If it weren't for romanticism, it might not be so difficult to explain who we are as aromantics, and asexuals.
  23. Every relationship I ever had was romantic peer pressure I'm just sorry they had to get hurt in the process, and that I wasted all of our time faking it.
  24. I know what you're going through. Before I even knew about aromanticism, I went through a similar situation. I really cared about him. I realize now that there wasn't a modicum of romantic affection in what I felt for him, but at the time I didn't know any better, so I assumed that must be what attraction was, and started 'going out' with him. I was 16. I was with him for almost a year before I realized I completely hated everything that exited the realm of friendship. As time wore on he grew bolder, started kissing me more, holding my hand more, telling me he loved me and that he'd like to ha
  25. I guess that's the main difference between aros and amorous people. For us, it's optional. Even unthinkable, but for them...I guess they feel like they instinctually need it? I don't know, that's always been a very strange thought to me, I can't quite wrap my mind around it to be honest. People think it's odd that I don't have this drive to be with someone, but what they don't realize is that it's just as odd for me to witness them jumping from one relationship to another within a couple of weeks of each other like it's perfectly natural. It just doesn't make sense to me. Not that I'm trying t
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