sonoffantasy

Hey ! I've been dating a girl for almost a year. I have never been in a relationship or been interested in it (I am 28 years old). I've had a crush once, but I quickly realized that I was wrong. I cannot understand love, I am not interested in romantic movies and I find it overwhelming to see the way couples interact or spend a lot of time together. With this girl we have shared intimate moments, I feel affection for her, I care about her and she is a very special person in my life, but I just cannot imagine myself in a relationship. I don't know what love means, and it's definitely not something I want in my life. I enjoy my time alone and I don't want the commitment that having a relationship with someone would mean, especially feeling like I can't live up to her expectations. Although I am a cold person, with this girl I have opened up emotionally and I am affectionate, I like hugs, cuddles, sex and spending time together (going for a walk, to a restaurant, cinema ... ). Nothing like this has ever happened to me and I feel a bit confused. Could I be on the spectrum?