Jump to content

wizardofaro

Member
  • Posts

    3
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by wizardofaro

  1. Basically, I just never understood the whole 'dating' shebang. Like, watching couples at school bicker and fight, and break up then get back together. I just never understood the appeal? Or why people kept getting back together after these explosive fights - that I only ever heard about second-hand like a month after it had happened from one of my friends. I remember being maybe about 12? And hearing an Ed Sheeran song about some love thing or another, and just complaining to my mother about how all anyone ever sings about is love. There were other moments, but this memory is most vivid. I just had this moment of complete 'wtf'. When I was in primary school, around the time it seemed everyone had started to 'date', I remember (I was about 10?) making up a crush on this kid who sat next to me in class purely and simply so I could tell my mum about it. There was absolutely no feeling involved and it stopped 'exisiting' immediately after the conversation. Then in high school, when my friends and I would have sleepovers, and they'd be talking about guys in our year, and then would come the obligatory 'who do you like' question, that I was notoriously bad at. 'No-one' was an unacceptable answer, and it would tend to devolve into 'if you had to, would you date X, or Y?'. Which would of course lead me to the whole 'but whhyyy?' and then choosing one just to move on. It's not that I've ever been against the idea of love or relationships, just that I've never understood the supposed need or want to have that with another human being. I dunno. Before discovering arospec, I just kinda assumed that the way I felt was normal, but that everyone else was following some weird societal script. It's nice knowing that the way my friends feel about their partners and relationships is real, and something that they want. And it's nice that I can find my own way, and my own place.
  2. Hey! Personally, I discovered asexuality first, and dismissed the idea that I could be aromantic entirely. For me, I think my mind had been so enamoured with this saturated concept of love in media and storytelling, that I just couldn't picture myself without it. Then, similarly to what you've described, I started to actually analyse my feelings as opposed to my beliefs, and discovered that I had never actually felt that romantic attraction feeling thing in my own experience. I spent time reading what other people had experienced and trying to relate it to my life. I think, definitely research (seems we're in the right place for that ) but I found that the right label for me was simply one I felt most comfortable in. That might change, it might not. You might cycle through labels, or you might decide you don't want to label anything. It might be a phase, but (as I've read somewhere - I can't take credit for this) the moon also goes through phases. That doesn't make it any less, the moon. Life is yours to do what you like with, and only you can decide what that is. (It's a choose-your-path adventure book, if you will)
  3. Hey, don't know if you've found a solution yet but I wanted to drop in. I'm with you on the whole short hair thing, my father has always been very, 'don't do this', 'you can't do that', 'you're my baby girl' etc. My mother isn't as bad, but not helpful. For me, when I wanted to cut my hair I did it for a charity. Shave for a Cure, to be precise. My parents couldn't argue too much with that without looking like utter assholes and well...despite my father in particular initially being vehemently against (his first response when I told him was 'NO you're not'), he ended up coming to school to support me when it happened, absolute picture of the proud parent. I know that might not help - controlling parents are hard to deal with - but finding ways to subvert parent's psychology is a good way I've found to help.Turn your biggest critics into your biggest supporters, and baffle them with streamroller bullshit. (basically, don't give them room to disagree, talk over them and BE POSITIVE - talk about how good it is/will be, use words like 'when', don't try to argue with them (that's where they're strongest), but instead assume that it's already decided. I know this won't work for everyone, and geez it's hard, I have struggled over the years, but it gets easier xx) Failing all that, do what I did last month and cut it yourself I hope you find a way to get the haircut you want. This is your life and you deserve to live it comfortable in yourself.
×
×
  • Create New...