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XesEri

Member
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Personal Information

  • Name
    Eri
  • Orientation
    Grayro? apothiromantic
  • Gender
    genderfluid
  • Pronouns
    xe/xem/xyr or they/them/their
  • Location
    PA
  • Occupation
    Student

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XesEri's Achievements

Tadpole

Tadpole (1/4)

  1. Not knowing what your starting line is, in terms of presentation, being genderless-looking is more about removing gender tells and looking like a mix is more about adding tells of the other binary gender. So for example, removing male tells would typically involve being clean shaven and softening sharp features (ie facial contouring and loose clothing that drapes). Removing female tells would involve sharpening features (facial contouring in a masculine manner, binding if possible, thick eyebrows) and using little makeup (neutral colors for contouring and light eyeshadow, for example). I also recommend specifically jean jackets. Most are pretty neutral, even the ones that are mens'/womens' specifically.
  2. Your english is far better than my spanish. I swear that I tried but our language education kind of falls short. I didn't start spanish classes until I was 11, and then we never have any reason to use it outside of class setting (it would be one thing if we did a pen pal type thing but our school doesn't allow it) so it never really sunk in. My claim to fame is once stuttering in a presentation and turning playas arenosos into playas arañosos. Needless to say, I'd rather not visit a spidery beach.
  3. I'm pretty much the opposite of the norm I think. Hugs are awkward to me. It's one thing if it's very explicitly friend-to-friend and even then I need some warning or I get really freaked out. Even then, I never initiate hugs, my friends do. Kissing I like because I tend to view it in a sexual/sensual way rather than romantic. I will never understand why I feel this way, honestly. Cuddling I can take or leave honestly. If it's with someone that I'm attracted to, it's good, I like it for the most part, I like the being physically close. But I really don't like "friend cuddling," probably because it's more sensual to me than platonic and I don't feel like that about my friends So yeah basically because I "incorrectly" learned romance vs sexuality I'm okay with a lot of socially romantic things.
  4. English is my first language, though I also speak Esperanto. I used to know ASL pretty well (to about the level of my esperanto right now) because my brother didn't speak for a very long time and we used ASL to communicate with him. I also know very little Arabic (enough to pick out certain words but I only took it for ~2 years and I know a lot of phrases and a little grammar so...) I'm trying to bring myself back to at least moderate proficiency with ASL and Arabic, and I really want an espeanto pen pal but sadly most of the people on language exchange websites don't actually care to respond.
  5. My gender identity has never affected my attraction to other real, present people. Always, "in the field" so to speak, I'm pansexual and if I like a person, I like them and neither person's gender has anything to do with it. But if I think about a relationship of any kind, it's pretty much always with a person of my own gender regardless of what it is at the time (so, like fantasy-omnigay). The romance part is more complex. My romance tolerance starts pretty low. I have pretty much always considered it kind of a waste of time and effort, and as a "girl" I more or less just find it tedious and pointless. But in "guy mode" or even sort of in the middle, it makes me really uncomfortable. To the point that (I think I said in my intro) my ex used to ask me if I was "allergic to kindness" because he would offer to carry my books to my locker, or he would give me candy, or whatever, and I didn't want to accept it. For a long time because of it I had a lot of reservations about IDing as aro because I felt that it "wasn't valid aromantcism" because it was so heavily influenced by social gender roles and dysphoria. But obviously I got older and wiser and now here I am.
  6. I would recommend keeping a journal or notebook or something, and write in it once a day or so, even if it's just "I would really like to be called by *fill-in-blank* pronouns today, I felt this dysphoria/euphoria, I think I am this" with a date. Writing it down is "proof" to you that you really feel the way you do. It comes in far more helpful later, when you *know* how you feel, but your internal dialogue makes you doubt yourself.
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