IA_8HAchi

I sure would. I'm free on weekends for the next two weeks, and my time zone is CST.

No.

I just needed to vent out all my frustration. I've been feeling like this for a good while, now. Yeah, but the thing is, my family is adamant about bringing people over so they can meet them, and I've got no one like that in my life.

Absolutely.

Last October, I found out from my own mother that my older brother is getting married. And as much as I try, I just cannot deal with it at all. Since 2013, he's gone off to college, graduated, went to grad school, graduated again, and throughout that time, we've barely talked, unless he's needed something from me, like everyone else has. In that time, I've been seen as a helpless shrinking violet, just bc of past bullying, and the fact that I can't get a job on my own, through no fault of my own. I'm not annoyed he's choosing to do this, I'm annoyed he didn't bother telling me, now I'm hearing he's getting gifts from these people, who I DON'T KNOW, but apparently they adore, for Christmas, and he didn't bother TELLING ME. And the thing is, it's gotten me all sorts of whacked out, because, I am just of done with all this talk of marriage, and children, like, one time, randomly, barely any prompting whatsoever, my Mom asked me if she wanted her to find me a girlfriend, like some sort of lost animal. If I wasn't in control of myself, I probably would've cursed her out. And what's worse for me, this past Christmas, my Dad was talking about me and my brother about life, and, inevitably, the talk of marriage came up, because our older brother was planning on getting married, or as he put it, he "chose someone", like they were a pet. And then he went into talking in detail about how to keep women from leaving you, children, sharing a bedroom, and what really stuck out to me, he said, "When will we be there to see 'I do'?" At that point, I was just so mentally checked out, I wished I had blacked out. IDK, I guess I'm just feeling bitter, because all I want is to just have ONE connection with someone, because I just don't care anymore at this point. I've tried to get at least a few friends, but it always ends the same way: They walk away, I do and say nothing, and I'm left keeping to myself. I just want someone in my life to talk about anything, so I can get my entire mind off of everything, just for 10 minutes.

I'd rather eat the barrel of a 12-gauge Shotgun than get Married.

That sounds absolutely perfect.

I just dismiss it as much as I can, and try not to pay it any mind. Why do they have to try and peer into my personal life? I don't want to sound increasingly negative, Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest.

This is more recent, but anytime I tried to envision my future families, they never had a face, they just had the physical attributes I enjoyed. I hated when people brought up me being married in the future, like it was something required of me. I got sad in school when I saw people hooking up, showing physical signs of affection, but am acceptable of it in fiction, and I just hated when I saw or heard my brothers were in romantic relationships, when I can't picture myself in one, without any negatives.

Personally, I wouldn't mind living alone. But... I'd be open to a polyamorus QPR with some LGBT peers, roughly 3, having a room to myself where I could practice my art and other projects, and share an entire bed with my partners. That's just what I think about, sometimes.