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Psychonaut

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    Bang!

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  1. This is something that's confusing me. I consider myself to be either a gray asexual or a straight guy with a pretty low libido. I felt strong sexual attraction and had crushes when I was younger, but I don't really feel that anymore. I can force myself to feel arousal if I want but it's not exactly automatic like it used to be. I feel arousal if I'm flirting with a girl or if she touches me, but not if I see a girl. I've never dated, been in a relationship, or done anything romantic other than flirting. I would've had a strong drive to do those things when I was a teen but nowadays I have little to no drive for that. If I could press a button and out popped a relationship, I might push that button. I wouldn't want to text everyday though, and I also would hate having my free time and hobbies interrupted by the relationship. The texting being a nuisance would really be a problem for me. I love talking in person, but texting is just a painful chore. Also, I'd be concerned about catching STDs too, although it'd be much less risky than hookups which if STDs didn't exist I'd probably love trying. Life goal wise, having a relationship, having kids, and eventually becoming a grandparent sounds pretty cool. However, it'd get in the way of my other life goals so tbh it's not a priority for me. Also, like I said before, I don't have a drive to get into a relationship. I'd rather smoke some good weed, have a good drink, or eat some delicious food than get into a relationship. The fact that I can't just push a button and out pops a relationship also puts me off. If I can't easily get into a relationship, why bother? There's fun stuff you can do by yourself so why worry about a relationship if it only brings you down when you fail time after time? On that last part, it's like this. I'm not gonna change myself into someone who I'm not just so I can get dates easily. Maybe it's easy to get dates and I just don't try. I don't know. But what I do know is that I don't have some magical energy driving me to go out of my way to get into a relationship/ask girls out for dates so I just don't care. What am I? Am I just someone who doesn't care about this stuff or am I aromantic? I'm definitely not repulsed because I'm sure if I found a cool girl who shared hobbies with me we could have a really cool time playing music together and just chilling all the time. I'm just not up for going out of my way to hunt her down lol
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