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Neon Green Packing Peanut

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Everything posted by Neon Green Packing Peanut

  1. So, for your main question, I do think you could be aro. That label is up to you if it fits and you want to use it though. As for your current relationship, if you are uncomfortable in it, I'd break it off. Even if there were romantic feelings (which you said there probably weren't), you shouldn't be in a relationship solely because of that, especially if you aren't comfortable with it. If you want to wait longer, and experiment and see, make sure you are doing so critically, and not forcing yourself to do something you aren't okay with - even if that's just a QPR. As for saying "I love you", I find it hard to do that with my friends platonically, even when they do it first. The one time I have been okay with it is when "platonically" was specified. That is exactly how I understand romantic love. In an abstract sense with a lot of similes helping me along. It's like, I get it, but also I very much do not. And every time I've thought I understood what romantic love was, I turned out to be wrong.
  2. So the Spotify wrapped is out, and of my top 100 songs, only 5 depicted romance in a positive light... I didn't even realize I was aro until the end of August.

  3. I personally started with Small Gods, which is good because it introduced a lot of the concepts present in Discworld.
  4. Personally, I think it is up to the individual to define themself and the label (or lack of) that they feel comfortable with. Not just puberty, this has been a thing for me since 3rd grade at the latest...
  5. IDK about your mom, but mine tends to be a little controlling. When I wanted to grow my hair out, I showed her some styles I liked and "asked for her input". This made it seem like it was something I was doing whether she liked it or not, and stopped her from arguing too much because she thought that she had a voice in the process.
  6. I agree. Personally, the two feel fairly distinct to me, but they intersect in some ways. And other people will see aroace differently for themselves, because of different experiences, opinions, etc. regarding romance and sex. It seems to me like the problem stems from 2 misconceptions. First, that aro means aroace, and second, that aroace is an ace microlabel. Now, for some people, either or both may be true. But that isn't universal, and it is wrong to treat it as such.
  7. Hi! I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I know now that I've never had a crush, but in the past my brain decided that if I thought a boy was a decent human being then it was a crush. I avoid most romantic things if I can, but personally see romcoms as criticisms of romantic love so I enjoy a select few of those. The closest thing to butterflies I've felt was deep existential dread when being asked out. Maybe that counts? I never had a celebrity crush, but also am fairly clueless about pop culture so I can't speak on those. Flirting is very much not my thing. I also am scared someone will misinterpret me being a semi-decent human for flirting. As for the last point, I also assumed that I would end up with somebody. However, I know now that that is from amatonormativity, the assumption that everyone is striving for a monogamous, sexual, romantic relationship. In all my fantasies about the future, I never had a romantic relationship. That didn't stop me from thinking that I would. I can't tell you that you're aro, that is something you have to figure out for yourself. But I can tell you that if that label is helpful and works for you now, use it. If something changes, you can change or disregard the label. Also if you feel most comfortable without one, you don't have to use a label at all. I hope this helps, and welcome to Arocalypse!
  8. I can deal with it when it adds substance to characters without taking over the plot like in But with that exception, I am increasingly frustrated with romantic plotlines. I could not care less about the color of the love interests eyes, especially when the main character is in the middle of fighting an evil tyrant for example.
  9. Is anybody else still somehow shocked by amatonormativity? Like, today, I found out that apparently the bee and the lady in the Bee Movie were dating. Did no one question that when they made it? Was everyone somehow like "human x bee = true love"? How? Are they okay? Hundreds of people probably worked on that, and you're telling me no one raised objections? Or was it a, "well, there has to be love somewhere" thing?

    I had enough problems with that movie before, and now they throw this at me.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. senACEay_11

      senACEay_11

      Wait, they were supposed to be dating?? 

      I did not pick up on that, but then again, a lot of this kind of stuff flies over my head, so that isn't saying much lol.

    3. Skylord

      Skylord

      I thought they were just good friends.... Guess you learn something new every day!

    4. Neon Green Packing Peanut

      Neon Green Packing Peanut

      Yeah, I did not catch it when watching the movie, but I found a list of problems with the movie (I just despise the movie. I don't have a good reason though), and that was one of them.

  10. I mean, I definitely didn't with the exception of deciding that if someone wanted me to change my last name, I just wouldn't marry them... I don't even consider other people's weddings, including my parents. The one time I thought about that was when we found their album.
  11. Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender is aroace. I maintain that her "crush" on Sokka was just because he was the first boy she had ever been close to so didn't realize it was just platonic.
  12. Personally, I like the friends of a few years --> romantic partners process the best. That just seems the most logical, because it is the least likely to have any surprises and ensuing crisis's, plus you have an established relationship to preserve in case the romantic one doesn't work out.
  13. For me, it depends on what I am doing, and the people I am around. For people I am closer to, I tend to laugh such comments off, and/or turn them around on the speaker. I kind of leaned into my "strangeness" around my friends, so I know those comments are made affectionally and in jest. For people I don't know as well, those comments piss me off. I will proceed to do everything in my power to continue to do the behavior, especially if it is annoying. But privately, I will worry about it, and it will bother me for a while (as in my brain will bring it up years later).
  14. Just a place to rant about specific fictional romances. If it contains spoilers, just use the tag. For example, in "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" by Phillip K. Dick, About 3 chapters could have been taken out (the book is less than 200 pages), and no one would have noticed because it is so unimportant, but forced in there for some reason. I just wanted some good sci-fi and action.
  15. Honestly, that is kinda scary that people see romcoms and are like "that is a perfect relationship!" Ummmm, no. Its intended to be nonsensical (which is why I can enjoy milder romcoms). Also, before my most recent post, I went on a rant about the unnecessary romance in Recursion. Just, people doing awful stuff "in the name of love" is 1) a horrible excuse and 2) the most boring possible character motivation
  16. I am a pianist, but funnily enough, my favorite period of music to play is Romantic, closely followed by Baroque. I am playing Clair de Lune right now, and my setting that I use to summon the "right" feeling was just the moon (and an empty recital space). But recently my teacher asked me to do research into the motivation behind the song, and every single article was speculating if it was about romance. With no evidence besides "the moon is romantic." I just wanted to find Debussey's process, not that nonsense.
  17. False! (I hate cheesecake and am allegic to raspberries) TPBM is/was a paleontologist
  18. Hm... I'd say there was an apocalyptic event that wiped out all life on earth. After which, an extraterrestrial being placed a glass of pure water on the surface. However, the atmosphere is now toxic, and after a series of chemical reactions, the water and the cup become parts of a combustable material. It then spontaneously combusts.
  19. I like that one, if it's absurd enough. Romance is where I have a strong tendency for black humor. In the Overlord light novels (an isekai story) there's one human adventurer who falls in love with the humanoid looking non-human Narberal, who despises humans and can barely disguise her hatred to not ruin her stealth missions. She rejects him with utter scorn and threats of a violent death but he still keeps going on flirting with her In the book I am reading right now, the guy: commited genocide, ethnic cleansing, enslaved her people, burned her city down(killing millions in the process), murdered her family, nearly killed her multiple times, lied to and manipulated her, and stalked her. Yet he is still somehow the love interest and all of that was excusable because he thought she was dead and was really sad. And now that it is 18 years later, and she is alive, he is now a good guy. It is so uncomfortable. And it is sad because the rest of the book is so good. The story is fascinating. I could just do without the clearly horrible pairing. I am personally hoping he dies.
  20. I recently read a phenomenal book (Recursion by Blake Crouch), and this happened. It was a fascinating book with amazing twists that you had to pause to even begin to wrap your head around. But, by the end, it stopped being about the actual plot, and just about the relationship between the main characters. It was so annoying. Minor spoilers : I am generally okay with romance existing in books, but only because I've come to see it as unavoidable. I find it annoying when: It is unhealthy, but still happens It takes over the main plot, or causes the characters to be stupid It is the only character motivation, or replaces existing motivations Love triangles exist When it becomes gushy Cliches/overdone plotlines occur One of them is super creepy about it Boundaries are ignored to begin with Most enemies-to-lovers things happen (sue me) They don't trust each other and/or forgive and ignore things One of them lives up to a bad reputation, and it is ignored If either of them was ever afraid of the other One of them makes huge sacrifices and the other doesn't give anything back A great action sequence is interrupted for a declaration of love Other less common things that don't immediately come to mind (That was a lot, and there are more) At those points, it goes from mildly annoying to uncomfortable.
  21. Romance is Boring by Los Campesinos https://genius.com/Los-campesinos-romance-is-boring-lyrics (The music video ruins the aro part a bit so I posted the lyrics instead)
  22. The list is very long, and still incomplete, so I put it in a spoiler for the sake of everyone's sanity: Not sure if this indicates I read too much, my standards are too low, or both. EDIT: just read a new one, Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. It was amazing. I would gush over one particular section and the genius writing that it is, but it can easily be seen as a spoiler.
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