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Neon Green Packing Peanut

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About Neon Green Packing Peanut

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    Neon Green Packing Peanut
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    Not where you are, theoretically

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  1. So, for your main question, I do think you could be aro. That label is up to you if it fits and you want to use it though. As for your current relationship, if you are uncomfortable in it, I'd break it off. Even if there were romantic feelings (which you said there probably weren't), you shouldn't be in a relationship solely because of that, especially if you aren't comfortable with it. If you want to wait longer, and experiment and see, make sure you are doing so critically, and not forcing yourself to do something you aren't okay with - even if that's just a QPR. As for saying "I love you", I find it hard to do that with my friends platonically, even when they do it first. The one time I have been okay with it is when "platonically" was specified. That is exactly how I understand romantic love. In an abstract sense with a lot of similes helping me along. It's like, I get it, but also I very much do not. And every time I've thought I understood what romantic love was, I turned out to be wrong.
  2. So the Spotify wrapped is out, and of my top 100 songs, only 5 depicted romance in a positive light... I didn't even realize I was aro until the end of August.

  3. I personally started with Small Gods, which is good because it introduced a lot of the concepts present in Discworld.
  4. Personally, I think it is up to the individual to define themself and the label (or lack of) that they feel comfortable with. Not just puberty, this has been a thing for me since 3rd grade at the latest...
  5. IDK about your mom, but mine tends to be a little controlling. When I wanted to grow my hair out, I showed her some styles I liked and "asked for her input". This made it seem like it was something I was doing whether she liked it or not, and stopped her from arguing too much because she thought that she had a voice in the process.
  6. I agree. Personally, the two feel fairly distinct to me, but they intersect in some ways. And other people will see aroace differently for themselves, because of different experiences, opinions, etc. regarding romance and sex. It seems to me like the problem stems from 2 misconceptions. First, that aro means aroace, and second, that aroace is an ace microlabel. Now, for some people, either or both may be true. But that isn't universal, and it is wrong to treat it as such.
  7. Hi! I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. I know now that I've never had a crush, but in the past my brain decided that if I thought a boy was a decent human being then it was a crush. I avoid most romantic things if I can, but personally see romcoms as criticisms of romantic love so I enjoy a select few of those. The closest thing to butterflies I've felt was deep existential dread when being asked out. Maybe that counts? I never had a celebrity crush, but also am fairly clueless about pop culture so I can't speak on those. Flirting is very much not my thing. I also am scared someone will misinterpret me being a semi-decent human for flirting. As for the last point, I also assumed that I would end up with somebody. However, I know now that that is from amatonormativity, the assumption that everyone is striving for a monogamous, sexual, romantic relationship. In all my fantasies about the future, I never had a romantic relationship. That didn't stop me from thinking that I would. I can't tell you that you're aro, that is something you have to figure out for yourself. But I can tell you that if that label is helpful and works for you now, use it. If something changes, you can change or disregard the label. Also if you feel most comfortable without one, you don't have to use a label at all. I hope this helps, and welcome to Arocalypse!
  8. I can deal with it when it adds substance to characters without taking over the plot like in But with that exception, I am increasingly frustrated with romantic plotlines. I could not care less about the color of the love interests eyes, especially when the main character is in the middle of fighting an evil tyrant for example.
  9. Is anybody else still somehow shocked by amatonormativity? Like, today, I found out that apparently the bee and the lady in the Bee Movie were dating. Did no one question that when they made it? Was everyone somehow like "human x bee = true love"? How? Are they okay? Hundreds of people probably worked on that, and you're telling me no one raised objections? Or was it a, "well, there has to be love somewhere" thing?

    I had enough problems with that movie before, and now they throw this at me.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. senACEay_11


      Wait, they were supposed to be dating?? 

      I did not pick up on that, but then again, a lot of this kind of stuff flies over my head, so that isn't saying much lol.

    3. Skylord


      I thought they were just good friends.... Guess you learn something new every day!

    4. Neon Green Packing Peanut

      Neon Green Packing Peanut

      Yeah, I did not catch it when watching the movie, but I found a list of problems with the movie (I just despise the movie. I don't have a good reason though), and that was one of them.

  10. I mean, I definitely didn't with the exception of deciding that if someone wanted me to change my last name, I just wouldn't marry them... I don't even consider other people's weddings, including my parents. The one time I thought about that was when we found their album.
  11. Toph from Avatar the Last Airbender is aroace. I maintain that her "crush" on Sokka was just because he was the first boy she had ever been close to so didn't realize it was just platonic.
  12. Personally, I like the friends of a few years --> romantic partners process the best. That just seems the most logical, because it is the least likely to have any surprises and ensuing crisis's, plus you have an established relationship to preserve in case the romantic one doesn't work out.
  13. For me, it depends on what I am doing, and the people I am around. For people I am closer to, I tend to laugh such comments off, and/or turn them around on the speaker. I kind of leaned into my "strangeness" around my friends, so I know those comments are made affectionally and in jest. For people I don't know as well, those comments piss me off. I will proceed to do everything in my power to continue to do the behavior, especially if it is annoying. But privately, I will worry about it, and it will bother me for a while (as in my brain will bring it up years later).
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