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Neon Green Packing Peanut

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  • Name
    Neon Green Packing Peanut
  • Orientation
    Arospec/acespec
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She/her
  • Location
    Elsewhere

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  1. Me: I don't understand why they are willing to let the world end for their SO

    Also me: If needed, I will become a serial killer for my closest friends

     

    I thought that was funny. On the other hand, allos in books tend to do it at the expense of their friends, family, and all other relationships, so maybe it's less hypocritical than I thought.

    1. ApeironStella

      ApeironStella

      It's tricky bc same.

      I would be willing to kill/help hide the corpse for someone I care about if I thought it was some self defense thing/a fridge case where the murder happened bc someone was hurting them etc

      But not at the cost of other people who matters to me and people who did literally nothing wrong and not even tied to the events, so it really is not getting how 'romantic feelings' somehow grants someone the worth above everyone else in my life and a fuck ton of other people and beings who wouldn't deserve such horrible ends, so it really comes down to amatonormativism I think?

  2. Add folders to your bookmarks bar, so when you bookmark something, it is easy to find again. That way you can close tabs without losing them as well. If you’re like me, and incapable of keeping things neat around you for more than a few days, have a time every few weeks where you organize it. If you are like me in that you use whatever is nearest to you to take notes, despite having specific places for said notes, make sure you eventually put everything in the same place.
  3. Hi! So romance repulsion is definitely a thing, for aros, and alloromantic people. Personally, I fluctuate between romance (and sex) positive, indifferent, and adverse for other people's relationships. I still am happy for my friends. Sometimes, I even enjoy hearing about their relationships. However, every now and then, I'll be talking about romance and get the urge to just get out of the situation. I don't really get why, it just is how it is. And when romance is turned on me, it's the same. Just one big "NO" and feeling super uncomfortable. As for what's helped me, I would recommend that she set boundaries with her friends. So they know what she is okay with discussing, and what she is not. I did that when I came out to one of my best friends, and so far, our discussions around that matter have been much more comfortable for me. She also has similar reading tastes to me, so can sometimes warn me if a scene will make me uncomfortable. Additionally, I would make sure that she is aware of how her interactions change due to her romance repulsion. It took someone saying (not to my face) that he hated me for me to realize that my "ignoring" boys (so people wouldn't think I had a crush on them) was actually me being incredibly mean to them until they left me alone. I also found this thread, which talks about different ways romance repulsion may occur. I hope any of this helped!
  4. Personally, I think that you should use whatever label feels right to you. If aroflux/greyro/arospec works to describe how you feel, you should use it. No one gets to tell you that your lived experiences aren't valid, as they haven't lived through them. I hope that helps at all. Welcome to Arocalypse!
  5. Ha no. I would never hear the end of it. The trick with my mom is that you can't directly attack her or her reasoning, or she'll just double down on things. I have to ask questions and provide evidence until she contradicts herself. Then she doesn't bring it up anymore (her way of accepting defeat). I just need to subtly pick apart her logic and remember what she conceded so I can remind her.
  6. So I've been kind of poking around the idea of romance in general with my mom (I don't need to with my dad because he'll tell her anything I tell him). And, yeah, no. It did not go well. Basically, I asked her to read this thing about amatonormativity that I wrote for class. I talked about the stereotypes of being single first, and she responded that people without romantic relationships die young. To which I countered that those studies were biased, and I had proof. She said I, and the person with a doctorate (in this area?), were wrong (specifically, "the statistics aren't wrong". Yeah I know. But the correlation drawn isn't true). We argued on that for a least half an hour. Later I brought up aromanticism and some other points, which she ignored. Which is so weird for her. I rarely ask her for help on writing now because there is a 95% chance we will get into a yelling match about word choice. Her not commenting on a point I made is strange, to say the least. And at the end, she suggested that I change my whole argument to a discussion of the etymology of the word(See? Attempted argument over word choice. What'd I say?) and it's accuracy. Specifically, that it was an incorrect, niche concept. So yeah. That was fun. I mean, I may be overblowing it a bit, as she's been frustrating me in other ways recently. But it's still annoying. She's always been so focused on women succeeding on their own, that I assumed it applied to romance as well. I guess not. Or, at least not for me.
  7. It depends. I hate them if they happen without warning, and/or the intention is unclear. Even reading romantic coded scenes can make me uncomfortable if there's too much of it. But if I'm asked, and I know it's platonic, I can really enjoy them (depending on the activity).
  8. I'm looking at you, YA authors (and TV/movie producers, and basically everyone apparently)
  9. Honestly, it was so bad. I watched it with a some friends as a joke and it got to the point where the criticism was all the same. They couldn't even come up with multiple plot holes. Also it was really uncomfortable. That relationship is so screwed up. I normally have a rule that I have to read the book first, but I don't think I could get through it.
  10. I am cis, but have a complicated relationship with gender expression. I tend to feel fairly uncomfortable in traditionally feminine clothing (with the exceptions of heels and sometimes skirts). I've tried it many times, and it is not my thing. I tend to just put on the first shirt and pair of pants I grab, but some days I do make an effort to look more/less like a girl. I've never understood people putting stock into their appearance, much less when it is to impress someone. My lack of concern may partially come from the fact that I just don't care for people seeing me that way.
  11. So, for your main question, I do think you could be aro. That label is up to you if it fits and you want to use it though. As for your current relationship, if you are uncomfortable in it, I'd break it off. Even if there were romantic feelings (which you said there probably weren't), you shouldn't be in a relationship solely because of that, especially if you aren't comfortable with it. If you want to wait longer, and experiment and see, make sure you are doing so critically, and not forcing yourself to do something you aren't okay with - even if that's just a QPR. As for saying "I love you", I find it hard to do that with my friends platonically, even when they do it first. The one time I have been okay with it is when "platonically" was specified. That is exactly how I understand romantic love. In an abstract sense with a lot of similes helping me along. It's like, I get it, but also I very much do not. And every time I've thought I understood what romantic love was, I turned out to be wrong.
  12. So the Spotify wrapped is out, and of my top 100 songs, only 5 depicted romance in a positive light... I didn't even realize I was aro until the end of August.

  13. I personally started with Small Gods, which is good because it introduced a lot of the concepts present in Discworld.
  14. Personally, I think it is up to the individual to define themself and the label (or lack of) that they feel comfortable with. Not just puberty, this has been a thing for me since 3rd grade at the latest...
  15. IDK about your mom, but mine tends to be a little controlling. When I wanted to grow my hair out, I showed her some styles I liked and "asked for her input". This made it seem like it was something I was doing whether she liked it or not, and stopped her from arguing too much because she thought that she had a voice in the process.
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