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Asteroid

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Tadpole

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  1. Well I've known many, many men, who by they own words, were not interested in romance at all. Some of them were very sexual, and some of them weren't, at least as far as I know. Were some of the sexual ones going through a phase and not genuinely aromantic? Probably! Were all of the non-romantic, highly sexual guys just going through a phase? I have no idea No one has the right to just openly declare that, beyond "maybe."
  2. Ok, wise one who knows who I talk to... How do you personally know the difference between a movie character who is just at a life stage and might one day become romantic, and a genuinely aromantic person (assuming here that they don't otherwise just blatantly announce that they're aromantic or just in a phase.) I don't think there's anyway to know for sure, no matter who I have or have not talked to.
  3. Is it really that hard to find aro men who are interested in sex but not love? When I was younger in college that was pretty much the standard stereotypical definition of a man -- horny but not interested in romance. They were everywhere, and driving the women crazy (in a bad way, usually.) They didn't have a club or see it as an identity (Well, "player" maybe, but it wasn't a sexual orientation back then, it was just being horny and not into love.) It sounds like it's somehow evolved into something much more complicated than "I don't give a shit about romance," which 20 years ago, no one blinked an eye at it. That was perfectly normal. I'm really stunned at these stories. The world has somehow changed so much. Being bullied for not being into love and romance? Bullies have _really_ changed. When I was a teen it was far more likely that some swaggering macho jerk would bully someone FOR being romantic. Anyway, in college, disagreeing with a professor once in a while is normal and healthy. That for me was the biggest difference between college and high school where free thought was not tolerated. It doesn't just have to do with romance, it could be a disagreement over anything. It's a good thing, shows you've got an individual personality. I disagreed with a huge number of my professors, Ithink they actually wanted to provoke disagreement sometimes.
  4. An embrace can be weirdly comforting, without sex or romance. It'd be fun to have that every day/night. For whatever reason, I do not desire nor get anything from cuddles with men, so my platonic guy buddies aren't the solution. One or two other people sharing a bed with me affectionately without judgement, sex, or excessive romantic needs sounds fascinating. But it's remarkably difficult to find people like that.
  5. I really love the idea of someone being madly in love with me, it feels incredibly good. It's the sort of relationship I'd love to be in. But it's not fair if I can't reciprocate the feeling, so, that sucks. But I've never seen any phobia, harassment, hostility, pressure or lack of privilege from my sexuality so that much hasn't impacted me. No one seems to care, at all, about who I am with or not with. Being in love is, alternatively, the most wonderful, or the most painful experience for allos. When it works, it's better than anything else on the Earth and when it hurts it apparently feels like dying. It's why all so much music is about love, it's that wonderful and powerful. I want that, a passion that beats every other passion by far. I don't have anywhere near that level of joy and passion as it stands.
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