yupppp

Oh there's this song that's a total bop, and it's called "Jack You're Dead." I still love it, but the lyrics are pretty... aphobic perhaps??

When you've got no more assurance
Than a great big hunk of lead
And if you don't respond to romance
Jack, you're dead!

When a chick is smiling at you
Even though there's nothing said
If you stand there like a statue
Jack, you're dead!

So very true!

The person below me is chill with spiders in the shower.

Now this is entirely a selfish opinion, but I like "platonic" because it does not have the word "romance" in it. The feelings that I have for my friends are not the absence of romantic feelings, but completely separate and valid emotions.

I also like the warmth of the word. "Aromantic" feels like "anaerobic" or "atrophy" or "apathy." It feels like a void. But "platonic" at least is based on a human. It has the weight and the prestige that Western cultures give to those old Greek dudes, and makes me feel like I might be carrying on some ancient and noble tradition. 

I think my younger brother is (so far) aro and maybe ace, but he doesn't want to label himself as such because he doesn't like putting himself in a box. I can't think of anyone else in my family who is LGBTQ+.

Um, nobody's responded to this yet but I just wanted to say that after thinking about this all day I was able to do the breakup. I feel good about it. I might delete this post in a couple of days because I'm worried that somehow ex gf might see this? But I'm really grateful that I had a space to post this so that I could get my feelings sorted out. Thank you all, I'm glad that you lovely fellow aros exist

A few weeks ago I started going out with a girl for the following reasons: 1) I have in the past hardcore longed for a girlfriend when I felt lonely. 2) I’ve never gone out with anyone before and I’m curious to see if I am indeed through-and-through aromantic. 3) She is nice and has good hair.

I feel no romantic attraction to her and no sexual attraction, but she feels both for me. She would like to have sex with me, but I’m not really up for that. However, I would consider her a friend. When we spend time together I feel pretty relaxed. I feel like being around her has been good for my mental health because I feel loved and valued, but I would be more comfortable if we were just friends.

Does anyone have advice for whether to break up with her, and if so, how? Should I wait for a while first? Has anyone had similar experiences?

English: pitter patter, rambunctious, cognizant, waffle (as a verb), perspicacious, dilly dally, frenetic, killjoy, bucolic

Japanese: 困る、やばい、ふざける、紅葉、もっぱら、溺愛、無謀、優柔不断

French: crépuscule, garçonne, carrément, arracher, sot, ludique, onirique, verlan

Personally, basically all of my closest friendships developed during college. I try to maintain those relationships long-distance through video calls and texting, and I make an effort to be honest with them when I feel sad. Asking for help or attention is still really hard for me, but I think it's a good skill to develop. 

I've experienced a lot of loneliness while living in this new town far away from my friends and family. I think that of course getting out (if possible) and trying to find people is a good idea. Also, it can be helpful to remember that your current situation isn't going to last forever. Thinking about being "forever alone" is super depressing, and it's also unrealistic. Situations change, and you have at least some degree of control over where you go and whom you meet. So when I feel lonely I try not to think gloomy things like "Because I'm aro I'll never have a partner and I'll always be alone." Instead, I try to think "I'm feeling lonely right now. This isn't going to last. What can I do to feel better right now?" I take notes on things that work to make me feel better, and things that don't work. It's a long process... 

I also wonder about dating sites and QPRs. I'm considering mentioning the concept on my profile when I try dating again. Let me know if you have any luck with that!