aroscorpio

Huh. I’ve never heard that before!

Elder Queer! I love that so much! And I’m glad to see how inclusive everybody on this forum is! ??

Oooh okay - thank you for educating me! I’m sorry for making assumptions. I knew that it was a part of non-binary but I also thought it was included in a-spec, so I apologize for making incorrect assumptions. This is just a thing personal to me - but I’ve actually never been a huge fan of the orange and blue one. I don’t like orange very much so I guess that could be why, but I agree that I think it’s because it doesn’t look consistent with other ace-aro stuff. And I’m a huge fan in general of the aromantic flag, so there’s that! ? I’m glad to hear that they work well for you! I’ve just never been a personal fan of the term aroace or the aroace flag, but that’s just a personal thing - I’m not trying to invalidate them in ANY way, I hope that’s clear.

Wow. You put it the exact way that I was trying to but couldn’t! And even though I don’t have a lot to say in response I’m soaking up all that you’re saying, and you’ve helped me a lot!

Awee thank you! I guess the main reason that I’m having doubts is because I’m the past I used to think I had ‘crushes’ on people, but I don’t really know if that’s what is was. Like, I got giddy and nervous around those people but I never really wanted to, like, kiss them or hold their hand or anything like that. I think it was much more likely a squish, ya know? And most of the time it’s been on fictional characters. Although, I’ve also never seen a relationship as a goal or something to work towards, and I don’t understand why it’s such a focal point to so many people. I’m not afraid of things like ‘dying alone’ and I think being single forever sounds awesome, my main fear is just that I don’t know how to be 100% certain that I didn’t feel romantic attraction to those people. Then again, I don’t even know what ‘romantic attraction’ is supposed to mean, ya know? It’s just confusing. And idk why I feel so strongly that I WANT to be aromantic, I just really seem to connect with everything about it.

Hiya! So, here’s a kinda weird thing that I’ve been worried about. I’ve been questioning a lot, which is normal since I’m still new it all of this, but I’ve been identifying as aromantic, and I’ve thought my past experiences to death and I’ve pretty much discerned that they weren’t ‘romantic attraction’ but still I have this, not really curiosity or question of if I’m maybe greyromantic or something like that. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with greyromantics, it’s just not what I want for me. Idk if this sounds weird but I’ve been IDing as aromantic, and I WANT to be aromantic, not greyromantic or quioromantic (I hope I spelled that right?) and any of those kinds of identities. Like I said, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with people Identifying as such if they feel it speaks to who they are! People should be free to always be themselves and, if they want a label, use the one that speaks to them on a deep level and they feel describes them perfectly! I just feel like the idea of being ‘aromantic’ speaks to me more than the others, but I’m afraid that I’m wrong about it, even though it’s something I desperately want to be true. Does that make any sense and has anyone else felt that way? -aroscorpio

Air-rock-a-lips ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh no no yeah I hope it didn’t seem like it came off that way! I totally get what you’re saying completely. And also I haven’t been out as aromantic for a long time and I’m still not out as asexual, so I’m sure you know more about it than me! I will definitely check it out! Thanks for the recommendation!!

It’s good to hear of someone who get the same way about all of this. If I’m being honest I’m even still questioning some about my identity in regards to aro-aceness. If you’re interesting in that you can read my other threads but it’d be a lot to reinstate in one comment. ? But I may check out that book, actually! Do you know where I could read it?

I haven’t been out for a while so I haven’t been infanticised or discriminated against yet - but I do think that aromantics would likely suffer the same kind of infanticizaton in the sense of “You’ll understand when you’re older,” “You just haven’t found ‘The One’ yet.” Or “You’re just a late bloomer.” In the same way that asexuals do. I feel like it would be worst against aroaces, that’s just my opinion though. Yes! And welcome to the discussion! ?

Yeah! I’ve had what I used to think were crushes in the past but now I’m almost certain they were just squishes, because 90% of them were on fictional characters and the other 10% I never even thought about dating or kissing - I just got giddy and excited when I saw or though about them and I wanted to talk to them more and befriend them. Doubly certain because hearing about how alloromantics generally feel about romantic love is “I need it, I want someone to share my life with! My dream is to find ‘the one!’” Like, I guess it could be okay maybe but it sounds more like a burden to me. I thought I had crushes like I said, but apparently crushes go in a way different direction than what I felt. I’ve never once thought that I want to “spend my life with someone.” That’s what my friends are for, ya know? I’m still actually figuring all this out though, and it can be hard. I’m pretty certain I’m aroace, though. Pretty much, yeah! I’d agree with you. I don’t understand why romance is such a part of ‘humanity.’ Like, I love to see other people happy but I’ve never once looked at a couple and thought, “I want that.” ya know? Honestly I don’t even know if they attractions are separate for me personally because I started identifying as ace just a few months after I started iding as aromantic. But as for the Pinterest thing I definitely should reach out to them! Especially if they make something I really like and wanna see more of, but wanna see aro represented in it. Exactly! I was never interested in romance but I thought I was just a “late bloomer” for the longest time. Precisely! I always hear people talking about how “he’s so hot” or “she’s so sexy” and that just doesn’t make sense to me. I can find people aesthetically appealing, but I don’t think I’ve ever looked at someone and thought that they were ‘hot’ and that I’d like to go out with them. On that note - fricken dates’ man! I don’t really get the point. Way cheaper for someone to just chill at home with their romantic partner, right? And why would you pay for food for someone you hardly know? Also, this in regards to my ace-ness, do people really look at someone and think “yeah I’d f that” cause that seems horrifying and dehumanizing to me. Yeah I suppose that makes sense. I guess when people genuinely mean well, but I’d still like to see more rep, ya know? Also for a long time I thought asexual meant not attracted to anyone at all, so I do think that’s a big part of it. But yeah people who say a-spec aren’t LGBT make me want to bash my head against a brick wall.

Hiya! So, just a question that was on my mind - why is asexual so much more represented that aromatic? No shade at all towards asexual people I promise (I’m pretty sure I’m also asexual) but basically what I mean is that, like - here’s an example. I have a hunch of lbgt+ stuff on my Pinterest, and there will be things for lots of different orientations/gender identities, like for example one of them was pride-colored cacti. I’m gonna say that probably 95% have asexual included (which is wonderful - I’m not saying that’s a bad thing at all) but only like, maybe 10-15% have aromantic. Like I said, no shade at all towards asexuals, but to me personally, my Aro-ness is a much bigger part of my identity and more greatly affects my day-to-day life than my Asexuality. Asexuality is a wonderful thing, and I‘m very happy to see it so represented! I’m just curious as to why aro is all but non-existent in things like that. As always, thank you! -aroscorpio?

Yeah, I guess I’ve just never really liked the fact that aroace doesn’t end in ‘romantic’ or ‘sexual’ because I feel like those suffixes tend to be ore recognizable and self-explanatory, ya know? But tbh I don’t really know how to know if my romantic and sexual attraction are intertwined instead of separate because I don’t think I’ve ever really felt either of them. ? Aspec would make sense, although I guess my discomfort with that would be pretty much the same thing as I said to the above comment, and also because aspec can mean several different things. (Agender is also considered aspec isn’t it?)

Gotcha! Thanks!!

What is AVEN? I keep hearing about it but I don’t actually know what it is. ?

Well, if I find one you’ll be the first to know! I’ve thought about just saying asexual but making sure everyone knows it’s in a perioriented sense, but idk how practical that would be...

Hiya! So I’ve recently beet greatly entertaining the idea that I’m asexual as well as aromantic, and I was wondering if there was an actual term to mean I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. I’ve heard terms like ‘aromantic asexual’ or ‘aroace’ but those are just combinations of both of the terms. Not that there’s any shade against people who use those terms, I’d just like a catchall term to cover both.

I think it has! Thank you. ???

Hiya! So anyone who’s been following my posts will know that I’ve been questioning if I’m also asexual as well as aro, and I’ve been talking to people and doing a lot of self-reflecting. I’ve come to the conclusion that I think I’m even more certain that I’m asexual than I am that I’m aromantic (not to say I’m not aromantic. I definitely am) I don’t know for 100% certain, but I’m pretty sure I am! I just thought it was exciting to me and I wanted to share. ?

Aweee thank you - you guys have been able to reassure me so much and it really does mean everything to me. I mean that. Also, I was nervous to jump into this forum because I didn’t know how the community would be, but everyone here is so kind and welcoming! Thank you! ?

Awee thank you so much! I don’t have a lot to say in response but rest assured I’m soaking up every bit of information you’re giving me. ? It really means a lot to me! Thank you

Hi! So hopefully the title isn’t misleading. I’m not questioning my aromanticism - I pretty much know that I‘m aro - but what upsets me is that I feel like I don’t feel ‘as aromantic’ as other people. Like, I’m not Demiromantic, Quairomantic, ect.. I’m Aromantic, but basically what I’m talking about is people who say that they’ve never felt anything remotely close to a crush in their life (no shade against these people, I promise. I’m sure you’re all great :D) and I’m still new to actually identifying as aromantic. I know I’ve never wanted a committed relationship, or to get married or anything like that, but I’ve had what I believe to be intense squishes before (which I’ve written about in some of my other threads - feel free to check it out if you’re curious) but I’m still figuring out exactly what they were, because I never really wanted to be intimate with them, and I never pursued a romantic relationship with them, I just got giddy and nervous when I was around them and thinking about them made me happy. Now hearing about other people who have never once felt anything like this makes me start to feel like I’m not a ‘legitimate’ aromantic, or I’m not ‘wholly’ aromantic. I guess the fear is that I always do things in extremes, and I never half-ass stuff, so I guess I feel like I’m not ‘as aromantic as possible’ even though I so desperately want to be. If any of that made any sense. ? I’d love to hear you guys’ opinions about it. As always; thank you! ?

Yeah! I usually don’t like the idea of a committed ‘relationship’ even if it is a QPR, but maybe something, like, more than a ‘friendship’ I guess, where we really care about each other and every now and then want one on one time, but not all the time. And no kissing or sexual intimacy of any sort, either. If that makes any sense. ? Maybe the best word would be ‘bromance’ but with a woman. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yup! Although I’ve never really minded the idea of being alone - I think I more just would like someone to spend a lot of time with that shares my own interests and also enjoys spending time with me. Maybe just more of a “best-best friend” I don’t know though, it’s hard to say. ?

Hello! So, in my last post I was told about queerplatonic relationships, and while some aspects of it sounded nice, I’m still off-put by the idea of a committed ‘Relationship” with anyone. Idk, maybe I just have commitment issues, but as weird as this may sound, I desperately want to NOT want it. Like, when I was figuring out if I was aromantic, I really wanted to BE Aromantic, if that makes any sense. What do you guys make of this? Why does this ‘finding myself’ crap have to be so c o n f u s i n g ?