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About Leton.

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  1. Hello i use only "aro", am not because i am privilegiate at all (sometime i id as aro allo, it's complex but i have the right) and i think that you should let peoples identify as they wish, you assume too much about them. Peoples can be "only ace" or "only aro" and it's not just bc they are privilegiate. There is many possible reasons. It's not because they are het. In fact, i find it disrespectful of you to slap "het" on someone who don't label their own orientation. I don't label my sexual orientation bc it's blury and i CHOOSE to not. And it's fine. It's not bc i am questionning. As a non binary "only aro", let me tell you that you are wrong on all the line there. Sorry if i get annoyed too, but wow. Hope you understand why it's not great If you get annoyed at peoples for an harmless self label, then it's on you. It's about us, how we decide for our own label. Not about you.
  2. Careful with that. Many trans and/or non binary peoples don't like it, as it often slip into fetishism. And it's better to use "transgender" than "transexual" for the whole community (even if some trans peoples use it, which is fine). Something about the etymology too? There is also the matter of separating trans men and women from cis men and women with their gender whish is...not great.
  3. Oh yeah, do not take my statement of "it wont change anything" too closely. It was not really a statement as much as it is just a thought. It would change, possibly (because it's peoples are not great at listening sometimes haha but that's something else) their view. It would not become an "assumption" anymore then, if they listen. Guess i was saying that because there is a billions of micro labels and not all of them are known, but things can change. Not really a fault of labels, even less of peoples using them. More the fault of peoples being passionate about not listening to you and refuse to listen to you eh? After all, it can also happen with "aro" and i use it. I suppose that i am more interrested in defying norms than having a lot of labels on me. That's me though. No heat behind my words. Of course, this is contextual. I suppose it also come from my view about friendships , that i can include a lot of things. But it go without saying that there is social norms in play and they don't agree with it. Which is why most labels exist after all. ____________ I must say, i generally don't have strong feelings about it right now, i just wanted to share my own corner. Sorry if it sounded dismissive.
  4. I mean, peoples do what they want, but i would have absolutely no use for the term. For one, no one is going to get it, would be ironic . Secondly, i do not like to put ultra specific labels on every parts of what i do. Not anymore . I would not even call it "fwb" , "fuck buddies", etc... unless prompted. I just think that "friend" is fine. Not that i don't get the need for specificities. I do not think that it's going to drasticaly change their assumptions, so easily. Now, it's just my own feeling about it and myself.
  5. Oldest child (two sibling) and no, i am not aware of any lgbt+ familly member. That said, maybe they just didn't tell me, or maybe they don't care. or, since identity is complex, they don't have word for themselves.
  6. We do that all the time, using pseudo english haha in french haha ! More than we think XD Etymology is funny, you take one word, look at the etymology and realise how it evolved. But indeed we are not changing our whole language for it. It just get strange when there is an actual debate about it. I think this is a valid concern, that peoples would be uncomfortable with it. I will admit that even as a non ace aro, i don't really think about it that much. But that's only me, the question deserve to be asked.
  7. To be frank with you, i would call them a "close friend" probably. I mean, i am already disturbing the norms so why a friend could not be that? I like the word. C'est mes amis, mes potos. I am generally disinterested from qpr (no offense to anyone of course) and the "who was first" debate is...meh. Not one i will fight for. I used to be in the need of specific labels, but right now i am just... Eh 🤷‍♂️ But yes, the etymology is another debate. Peoples use it to describe a non romantic relationship, but norms are norms and they often think about no sex with it. I think.
  8. Not to scare you, but it can totally happen. Maybe that the nature of internet make it more overwhelming on it though. I had arophobia toward me irl. That being said, sometimes we are so focused on a corner of internet that it flaw our judgment to speak as a whole. Not saying it make it fake, but there is some discourse you see more here or there. Just something to take into account.
  9. Would you consider the phrase "platonic relationship" to be a synonym of "friendship"? Not at all Do you consider all friendships to be platonic relationships? It depend on your definition of platonic. For some it mean without romance, for others it mean without sex , or both and i personally don't always know what they're talking about. But i think i can't tell peoples what to feel, so i can't give a definite answer. Do you consider all platonic relationships to be friendships? No, whatever your definition of platonic is. Friends with sex, sex without friendship, or even just aqcuitence i would not call my friends. Familly too.
  10. almost never. To be fair, i don't really talk to many peoples irl. I am also not really prompted to talk about it usually.
  11. As a general rule, i do not like to tell aro in qpr that they "basically have a friendship" or something", as i find it disrespectfull and i don't *have* to understand. But there is sometime some things surrounding qpr (they have their own "amatonormativity" if it make sense) that i find relevant to say
  12. It's funny, because most of the time i can't make the difference between qpr and close friendship 🤷‍♂️ (not saying that qpr is invalid of course, just not a thing i focus on ). But yes, i pay almost no mind to qpr because while i respect peoples feelings, qprs and it's importance to peoples, i would simply call it friendship for myself I just think that yeah actually, friends *can* do that too. Personal feelings (even if i DID listen to peoples talk about it. ) Guess there is no "qpr understanding" case in my aro bingo. Which is fine, we all have different relationships !
  13. Mixed feelings. Queer baiting is annoying, and we could use some rep. Saying clearly that a character is, idk , aro, ace, gay, trans, etc etc has an impact. (That said, some peoples will scream "queerbaiting" because this is not queer enough by *their* standard sometime. ) But on another hand, not all peoples define themself with neat cut out labels. Don't mean we can't identify with them (without a fandom war if possible). What truly bother me in those cases are peoples who think that they own the character. Aros or Lesbians who think that Elsa belong to them respectively (as if it was mutually exclusive) is not great i think. But again, a character who is officialy aro has clearly another impact that some sort of implied or left to headcanon one . I like clear rep. But i will not flip a table if it's not the case. I, myself, can be vague about my own identity. Purely personal. Now, intentional erasure is another thing Deleted scene, erased identity, identity reveal outside the media.... Not the same as an ambiguous character.
  14. Mmh, i used to describe myself as romance repulsed. The spirit is still there , i don't suddently love romance but... i tend to care less now 🤷‍♂️ About the term i mean, for myself. It tend to depend, frankly, on the context. Context i don't always a clear definiton on. Can be a ship i actually like, for some reason. Can depend on the characters. In real life, i depend too. Two random peoples kissing in a corner and a group of friends i am talking with is not the same. It's not that i hate talking about romance, i just can't relate (not that peoples can't say some bs about it eh )
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