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itsrainingtacos

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Everything posted by itsrainingtacos

  1. Hello everyone. Yesterday I finished re-watching How I Met Your Mother, and without revealing spoilers, there's a lot of romance and friendships in it (but more romance than anything else). In my opinion it is a really good show, but it got me thinking about my own relationships, and about just how alone I am. For context, I am aromantic and aplatonic, both of which I've known about for a long time now. I have never been in a romantic relationship and have only ever been in a few friendships. While it is fulfilling to be alone for many reasons, I do occasionally wonder what it's like to have those relationships. I sometimes feel like I'm missing out on all that stuff, which is weird because I know I am better without it. I get these feelings every time after I finish watching this show lol, so idk if it's just the effect it gives off or what, but either way this is how I'm left feeling. Does anyone else feel this way, and if so, how do you deal with it (especially in a society where romance and friendships are the norm)? Thanks for reading and take care :)
  2. Off the top of my head: Currently learning German (only a beginner right now), Archaeology enthusiast, I like reading non-fiction leftist books.
  3. I'm aromantic and INTJ-T. I have also been INFJ, INFP, and ISFJ. This current one feels the most "me" though.
  4. I knew I wasn't the only one who felt this way. You're right that any aromantic representation we see (and there is next to none of it), tends to be of romance repulsed aroaces who have never experienced crushes. While it's better than nothing, it's also not great for those of us whose experiences aren't like that. For example, I'm demiromantic, romance ambivalent, and I have had two crushes in my life. I also don't usually label my sexuality. For a while, partly because of the lack of arospec representation, I thought that I just hadn't found the right person yet. And then when I finally did realise I was aromantic, I was in denial about the fact that I was also demiromantic to try and fit the "ideal" aromantic experience... So yeah, needless to say, you're definitely not alone here.
  5. It's good that you've figured your gender out! I bet that's a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders. It took me 2+ years to finally realise my own identity lmao, so I know how frustrating it can be. However, I would like to offer some advice if that's ok: if you are sure you want to tell your mom, then before coming out, maybe ask her what her opinions are on the LGBTQ+ community in general first, as well as more specific LGBTQ+ identities. I believe it's important to get an idea of what she thinks to make sure you are safe when telling her. Anyway, congrats and good luck!
  6. There were plenty of signs in my childhood, all of them seem to be pretty common experiences within the aromantic community (which is how I came to the conclusion that I was aro, fun fact). For example, I would: easily get bored of romantic plots in films/shows and preferred non-romantic songs fake multiple crushes, especially when I felt pressured into having one by my classmates physically cringe (or at the very least be uncomfortable) when anyone assumed that I was going to get married and have kids as an adult feel awkward when people had crushes on me or asked to go on dates (in my early teenage years) always put off getting a boyfriend, and used the excuse “I’ll start dating when I’m 18/19/20” or “I’ll settle down with a nice man eventually” lol And now here I am, 20 years old, a proud child-free aromantic person, never dated and likely never will. I’m sure younger me would be proud too 😌
  7. In my personal experience, and as a relationship anarchist, there isn't necessarily a solid difference between platonic and romantic attraction. I believe that it wholly depends on individual situations, rather than an inherent difference between the type of relationship, if that makes sense. What I can tell you for sure is that it's definitely possible to be focussed on love and loyalty in platonic relationships as well, contrary to what your friend said. Also I would just like to tell you, from one aro to another, that having a friend laugh and say you'll probably find someone someday when you tell them you're aromantic is an aphobic attitude. I would try and talk to him about that if I were you (as long as you feel safe to do so). Take care :)
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