ash li

i know it sounds strange lol. it’s the fact that i don’t experience romantic attraction, but i feel like i’m missing out on something. i watched cavetown’s vid where he revealed (??? sounds dramatic lmao) that he’s aro-spec n the way he deals w this is by viewing platonic relationships and romantic relationships as equal instead of romance being a step up, but i can’t get rid of this feeling that i’m missing out. especially because i luv the concept of love. like to such an extent i’ve cried nonstop over this. i remember i once had a bf (who was toxic but let’s not talk abt that rn) and i got w him as a way to “force” myself to be alloro, n when it broke off because (of his toxicity and) the fact i felt nothing, i couldn’t stop crying because i felt like i failed. like romance was a simple easy goal i failed. is this normal lol