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venomous

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Personal Information

  • Name
    L
  • Orientation
    gray romantic lesbian
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she, her

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  1. I really want to thank everyone who replied to this post. I feel a lot less alone and isolated about this subject now. I think in general that arocaplyse is the most positive community I've come across on the internet, and it really feels good to see people genuinely want to help you and suggest things that might work for you. I had honestly not considered the predatory lesbian stereotype when I posed this question. Perhaps that's because I haven't been exposed to a lot of that discourse and my friends have always been very accepting and non-weird about my being attracted to women. This puts the Soft Cottage Lesbian Vibe into perspective a bit for me so thanks. Thanks for the support! That's really interesting how it can differ so much depending on where you "hang out" so to speak. Thanks for the support, and I agree that it might be better to look elsewhere for community. That's definitely something I can look into. I haven't had the best experience with this in the past, but I like the idea of creating your own relationship dynamics without being pinned down by how things "should be". I suppose that can be said for a lot of aromantics. Thanks, I will definitely have a look at the Discord server. Oh yeah, I had noticed those validation posts too. I think the idea behind them is nice, but anyone can write those. It would be nice to talk to more people you can identify with. I appreciate the validation, I do, but sometimes I need more than the "you are allowed to exist exactly the way you are" thing. I'd like for there not to be any universally acknowledged experiences for sexual and romantic identities in general, but I think that would take away from some people so I realise it's not a realistic ask. The slightly funny thing about this vine in the sapphic community is that I'm not against the cottage core aesthetic (I feel like I can't be since I have a vase with wildflowers on my dining table right now that I picked yesterday evening as the sun was setting over the fields), but the way it's very much romanticised (and I mean that both as a way of life and the way it's been applied as a sapphic life goal) just doesn't appeal to me. I picked my wildflowers with my best friend, and the experience was so much greater with her as a platonic thing than any date I've ever had.
  2. I don’t think we have couple’s discount as much in my country. My best friend works at a spa and I get discounts through her. I’ve brought her to work events when I have wanted to attend and no one raised an eyebrow. My work place doesn’t really get discounts, but we do have a lot of activities when we’re not in a pandemic and we can bring whoever we’d like to those.
  3. Yes, very recently figured out I’m a lesbian at 27 years old, but I’ve known I was on the aromantic spectrum for years. Compulsory heterosexuality and amatonormativity are terrible.
  4. Apologies on the long intro, but summing up my question was a bit difficult. I’ve known I’m on the aromantic spectrum for years, but I recently came to the realisation that I’m gay (or lesbian, whichever term you prefer). It seems like a lot of people are experiencing similar things during this time so I have been in good company. However, when scrolling through tumblr, it seemed like there was barely any posts about aromantic lesbians. I felt quite discouraged by that since I didn’t feel comfortable with the general lesbian/gay culture tags my friend recommended. I eventually came across a post that summed up my anxiety: wlw culture is very centred around the experience of romantic love. The post itself gave the example of falling in love with your female friends as a very common lesbian experience, and I’ve never felt that. It’s not just the experience of romantic love, it’s the wanting romantic relationships even in the abstract. There are so many posts about wanting a wife to stroke your hair, and I cannot relate to any of this. I’m all for this content for the people who can relate to it, but I just felt so lonely and unrepresented in a space I had hoped would make me feel seen. I’m not romance repulsed, but I would say I’m a little adverse. Has anyone else experienced this? Perhaps I’m hanging out in the wrong place on the internet when I’m not on arocalypse.
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