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VecSpec

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Everything posted by VecSpec

  1. I'll start with what I had to finally tell myself after a long time avoiding it: There's no problem with the word "no". Any friendship or relationship is a two way street, and whether it's intentional or not somebody monopolizing time and energy usually has a negative impact on things. Setting your own boundaries won't just be good for your health and sanity: it'll be beneficial to your friendships, at least, if said friends are respectful of your feelings and needs. It sounds like you've already done a lot of the heavy lifting. At this point it's worth seeing if your friends will be willing to cede some ground in those relationships. If they do, great, that's progress. If not...well, that's a fake friend gone and still progress. XD Hope this helps!
  2. At least for me, it became a little more comfortable to identify as aro when I stopped to take stock of what I felt I wanted out of a romantic relationship. In my case, a lot of those things I sought out and desired I already had with my good friends and family. That helped me shift my thinking just a bit. I'm sure it'll vary from person to person, but you owe it to yourself to answer those questions. You might find what you need to make it click, you might even find that there's something you're pursuing that is better found in a romantic relationship or partner, and either of those paths are OK! More than anything else, chasing after truths and answers will do you more good than anything. Just remember to find enjoyment in the process! Hope this helps! <3
  3. First things first, happy new year, y'all! Hope everyone at least had a moment to enjoy to close out 2020. Cause for real, screw 2020. I know there's still so much up in the air, but I wanted to see if y'all had any goals, dreams, whatever you were looking ahead to doing for the year. Doesn't matter how minor or small it is. I'm starting with some basics before I try and tackle the bigger ones: cut out sodas, try and be more mindful of my health, and catch up on practicing more spoken word and poetry...which was a resolution from last year I never got around to. XD What've you got in mind?
  4. Hope everyone's week has been going well. After having this tab up for literally ages, I felt like I should stop waiting around and actually make the rounds. XD I'm still trying to figure a lot of this out. Stop me if you've heard that one before. XD I'm 33, and I'm slowly starting to be a little more comfortable self-identifying as aro. For the last couple of years, I think the idea was there in spirit before I really started doing any research or reaching out, but it's taken me a while to be honest with myself. Without going too far into "stranger shares their life story on the Internet" territory, I shared a lot of the same experiences that I've seen in stories here, I'd dated in the past and been in romantic relationships, but something always felt...off. I enjoyed the time I shared and people I got to know, but I never could find that feeling of being "in love". Cue the questioning about if there was something wrong with me, the doubts and fears as you see entire friend groups fall in love, start families, and the never ending holiday tradition of asking if you're seeing someone or when to expect grandkids. It wore me out. But as time's gone on, I've come to understand myself a little better as well as the things I value in my relationships with other people. And I started realizing that my friendships and family filled a lot of that void that I never found trying to force myself to date other people. So yeah, I'm still trying to really get an idea of where I stand, and it's still gonna be hard to let my hair down, but I'm glad to finally say hey to everyone, and I'm looking forward to whatever's next!
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