Hi everyone!
So as I understand it, gray aros have crushes but don't want a romantic relationship. But how do you know if you've had crushes or not? I may have had one when I was 13 (I'm 32) but it was so long ago, who knows. Last year I was briefly obsessed about a guy but never fantasized about romance with him, I just thought about his nice forearms and long lashes and sense of humour, and it evaporated very quickly when I discovered a friend was actually with him. In 2010, I may have sort of had a crush on a brief fling? I remember lying on the couch thinking about her afterwards, but I didn't have to "get over" her either lol. When I saw her just days after we had a fallout, I had a physical reaction, I almost stumbled and like a heavy weight dropped into my stomach? It was quite unpleasant. I never had butterflies in the belly or anything like that with her. And I think that's it? I can't remember other possible crushes lol.
I guess what I'm asking is, do grey-aros usually know when they have a crush? I kind of feel like grey-aro is an anti-freedom term bc then it's like, I could have a crush and therefore be hindered in my life? Like I'm not opposed to a romantic relationship, I just don't seem to feel romantically, and grey-aro feels like the limitations of a romantic relationship about to happen. Nonsense, it's not even in the definition...
But I'm also vary of identifying too much with being totally aro so I don't accidentally block myself from feelings if by some miracle those might happen some day lol.
I realize those sentiments clash hardcore, lol. I'm confused, I guess, lol!
(I'm definitely not demi, I was in a romantic relationship for 5 and a half years and never developed romantic feelings for him. Or for anyone else after knowing them.)
Thank you for any comments!
