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Posts posted by Queasy_Attention

  1. Yeah, this is very true! I think the closest case you can make for an aroallo character is the stereotypical "guy/girl who sleeps around a lot but never takes a relationship very seriously", a-la Barney from HIMYM, Joey or Chandler from Friends, Dean from at least the first few seasons of Supernatural. Unfortunately these types of characters usually culminate with finding "the one" that changes them and makes them want a relationship. Sometimes this is really cheap and comes off as "well, most shows have characters in relationships so let's add a love interest!" If it's well written and the love interest is a fully fleshed-out character who's a good friend in addition to being a romantic interest, then sometimes I'll get invested in the relationship, though.

    Still, it would be cool to see an actual character purposefully written as aroallo, in which sex without a relationship wasn't framed as some bad, shallow thing, or a symptom of someone's immaturity or fear of commitment. I think that's what usually bugs me about media-- characters in books/movies/TV-- that the lack of a relationship is portrayed as a bad thing, and the existence of sex without a relationship is framed as even worse than that.

    • Like 2

  2. 21 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

    I mean, maybe asexual aromantics would be, but probably not me lmao

    Up top! All a siren's gotta do is flash that side shave, D&D enamel pin, maybe do that thing where you put your arms over your head and your shirt rides up-- I'd drown myself in about four seconds.

    • Like 2
    • Haha 2

  3. Nice to meet you! I love the mindset of being out and proud as whoever you are, to give other people a sense of security in their own identities. I want to be that person, even when it's hard sometimes. Welcome to the forums!

  4. Sorry to reply so late to this but lol welcome!! I had the same experience, going through relationships where some things felt right, but some things felt wrong. It really is surreal to not feel that big important something that everyone else feels and talks about all the time. I'm sorry you had to go through the "is there just something wrong with me" journey, that's never easy. But I'm glad you're here now!! Hope to catch you around the forums~

  5. Hey, welcome!! I've been getting more into reading since quarantine started, I've been devouring YA novels that I haven't touched since middle school, since right now I just need something fun and easy to read. It's so interesting to see the range in quality between them; there's some hot garbage and there's some really entertaining stuff! My ebook hold on the first Percy Jackson book finally came in today, I'm so excited to ditch Warrior Cats to read it lmfaoooo

    Also damn good luck with your PhD, I've heard that's a really tough area of study!! That's super impressive!

    • Like 1

  6. Could be really strong platonic attraction? I get that a lot, where I'll get all nervous and giddy around someone like I have a stereotypical crush, except the last thing I want from them is a relationship! I just think they're really cool! 

    That's just me tho, YMMV :) Welcome to the forums! 

  7. 10-hour dinner. I probably wouldn't know who it was, I'd get free food, and I'd invite my friends along so we'd have a story to talk about for the next decade or so.

    Would you rather be able to fly, but only three inches off the ground, or be able to breathe underwater, but only for ten minutes?

  8. I've always struggled really hard with telling close people "I love you"-- I can tell my friends "I love you" just fine, but once I get closer to someone, this wall just comes up and I can't say it. I even struggle to say it to my family.

    I have a close friend with whom I have a sort of unofficial QPR (we're strictly non-romantic, she's not looking for a relationship and she knows I identify as aro, but we're still good close friends and we can cross non-platonic boundaries comfortably), and for a while I kept wanting to tell her "I love you", like I do to my other friends. But I didn't want to give her a mixed signal-- telling "her oh, hey, I'm aromantic and I don't want a relationship, and also, I love you!!!" So I couldn't tell her, and it felt kind of bad because I tell my other friends I love them all the time, and she's a really good friend so I wanted to give her that kind of love too, but I was too scared. 

    Anyway the other day we were talking about a coworker's recent marriage and chatting about marriage in general and she said something like "I think I'd only get married for tax purposes honestly" and I just said "Oh my god, I love you so much right now," and she went one one knee and said "..... for tax purposes?" It was just so great, and I'm happy that now I've gotten past that barrier and I can give her the same kind of love I give the rest of my friends! Bwaaah!

    • Like 13

  9. On 9/25/2020 at 2:24 PM, Nora said:

    - As mentioned I read a lot of romantic stories, and enjoy it, but what really annoys me is when people do tons of stupid stuff just for their love interest. Why do they suddenly get stupid and blind just because they are in love? Does that happen in real life? I can't really comprehend it.

    Yeeeesss!! I love trashy romance, but it totally pulls me out of the story when you're like, wait, what are you doing??? Like, if it's a "change my life for the better because this person inspires me" or "I'm gonna take a risk and make this person a big part of my life because I like being with them" then sure, that makes sense. But when it gets too ridiculous I'll bail, lol.

    Also I feel you on the realizing you can separate different kinds of attraction. Totally changed my perspectives on everything I've felt for other people. I don't even go past the basic split of platonic/romantic/sexual attraction, those three work well enough for me. Everything I've ever thought was romantic attraction turned out to be platonic and/or physical attraction, because all I wanted in the moment was to be better friends or be intimate with those people-- who knew??

    Anyway hi!!! Welcome to the forums! 

  10. 9 hours ago, Rainy Robin said:

    I'm desperately trying not to binge watch the rest of She-Ra so I can really savor the episodes, but it's so hard 😄

    I'd say binge watch until season 5, and then savor season 5. Compromise!

    • Like 1

  11. I'm aroallo, so I feel, do, and want a lot of things that can be interpreted as romantic. The way I differentiate it is by identifying the motivation behind those things. 

    I like kissing (rarely, but I do), physical touch, sex, etc. Pretty much all ties down to physical/sexual attraction, and the desire to be physical/intimate with someone!

    I like giving people gifts, helping them out, spending time with people I like. All boils down to platonic attraction, and the desire to be close friends!

    Sometimes I get confused, and I ask myself-- am I doing/feeling/wanting this because I want a romantic relationship? The answer is always no. I like being good friends with people, being close with them, I like being intimate with people (or the idea of it, anyway, lmfao)-- but I don't want a romantic relationship with them. 

    • Like 1

  12. Hiya! I think there's actually a term for people under the aro spectrum who don't understand what romantic attraction is-- Quoiromantic! I'm not sure how mainstream it is, though. 

    Welcome to the forums!

    (Let me know when you finish she-ra!!! I've rewatched the last season at least three times, now.)

  13. Allergic to my favorite food. I'd suffer through. 

    Would you rather lose all your memories from now but be able to make new ones from this point on, or keep all your old memories but lose the ability to make new ones?

  14. I have such a complicated relationship with kissing!!! I love reading about it, and I love thinking about it, it gives me those butterfly feelings-- but then whenever I do it it's like bleeeuughhhh so boring! 

    I have to be very specifically in the mood for it, or else it's annoying and boring and when I do it I want to be anywhere else. There are a few very rare occasions where I've actually liked kissing, and I still can't really pinpoint what sets them apart. welp!

    • Like 1

  15. Aw man, I did this twice! I feel you, that sucks so hard. I'm glad you were able to figure out what you needed to do in the end; it can be really hard to take a step back and ask yourself what's making you unhappy, if the thing that makes you unhappy is something you feel obligated to have/want/do/etc. Congrats on finding this part of yourself and welcome to the forum!!

    • Like 1
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